I got a Problem...

Remove all ads!

Then you deserve what is coming. Personally, I would make sish-kebab of both of them.

(However, don't let me coax you to do something like that -I'm sure she is just toying with you )

 

Lol, your not coaxing me to do anything

 

Of course not, kiddo.

 

and..as I predicted "I dont think we should see each other anymore" I even dropped the matter..grr I have horrible luck with this kind of stuff

 

It seems I'm a bit late. Well, but I have some time on my hands, so I can reply in length.

I've had the problem. Most guys have, at least once. As I said in RB, it hurts even if it's a twentieth time.

You are lucky, though. Yes, lucky. You know why? Because she cheated on you in a very blatant fashion. It would have hurt much more if she had properly ended the relationship with you and went for that guy. It would have hurt even more if she just cut it without going for another guy. It would have hurt more still, if she just cut it without giving any reasons.

I hate to be judging people like this, but it seems she belongs to a certain type of girl, not having any problem with loving someone else than her boyfriend and hitting on him. If he had dumped her, she would not even have returned to you - she would have kept quiet about the whole thing and you would know nothing.

She did not have the dignity to tell that in your face. With such things happening, I change my approach to people. They can't be treated as men of honour anymore. And only men of honour can be friends. A girlfriend should be a friend, too. Conclusion is obvious.

Preserve your dignity and self-esteem by not begging. You can ask her to reconsider, if you feel it would be right to do so. I always ask them if they know what they're doing and ready to face the consequences on their own. Don't let her back. You're young, you will find another one.

Another interesting point is that your "jealous" thoughts proved true. Maybe next time get a girl about whom you have opposite feelings - that she seems loyal?

I dump disloyal ones on my own. By disloyal I don't necessarily mean cheating. One of them refused to fulfil some largely unimportant promise, laughing about it etc. I dumped her on the spot. For the sake of principles.

As therefore the tares shall be gathered and burned in the fire...

It's not even playing a judge. She who acts that way is not the one. If she's not the one, then why be with her? Next, please.

As for the control, don't bother. If a girl wants to cheat, she will cheat no matter what and you won't do anything. She will always find a way.

Forbidding? No right to. Just a clear choice: you or the other guys.

If you can't leave her with a guy, you shouldn't be without her. It means she doesn't care. Or even if she does, she is too weak - don't shed tears for her, it's her own choice not to work on her character. Let's be brutal, for once: not every girl has to have a boyfriend.

I have known one who did care and wasn't weak - she simply had a need to get some action with different guys. Relationship lasted a whole week, which means I must have got really used to her Don't get involved with this type, you won't change them.

You will hear a lot of excuses: the partner being away, there being problems in the relationship, the girl needing someone close... Let me please tell you it's bull****. Being drunk is not an excuse, either. Cheating is always cheating. Excuses are always convinient. If someone wants to be faithful, he is faithful.

In most cases, the explanation is simple:

For side-romance: wanting to check on another guy without losing the current one. Why? Not to be single.

For episodic cases: wanting fun. Simple as it is. A girl wants to enjoy the moment - for example at a party in a club - so she goes with some stranger, standing out or completely random.

I'm not saying men are saints, but well. Contrary to what is commonly believed, we're more faithful.

Life would be simpler if cheaters sticked to cheaters and cheat one another.

Heheh, it's only a matter of time before she cheats on him, too Maybe she will even try to cheat on him with you Yes, things like that happen.

[ March 26, 2004, 02:45: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Thanks chev...your advice has helped.

 

@ Chev

Hope you kept your eye on the fact that it's a teen romance -they tend to change with a breathe.

 

@Icingdeath: Glad to be of help

@Virne: Sure. But it's good for your health to develop a proper sense of realism pretty early And lay down some proper standards. ISO-chev1, hahahahah.

 

Of course, har-har-har-har *hack* *cough* *hack* *hack*

 

Erm.... teen romances aren't the only ones that change in a breath. Matter of fact.... adults are much better in it. Or at least more experienced in covering things up.

 

Well if she is like my ex I say don't let her go... I mean she got really horny when she had been drinkin'

If that is not the case let her go and have some fun

 

Do you have any pictures? You know, the kind she wouldn't want mailed to her parents? Hint, hint.

 

@SleepleSS: Am I correct in understanding that you would keep a woman having a habit of betraying you while drunk?

In truth I say, she who does like a harlot, shall be counted amongst harlots.

[Chev 1, 68]

 

The others did almost all the typing for me
But just as the most of them say, this is really where trust is coming to have a peek.
So it's up to you.

 

Just read your lenghty post chev, impressing.
Very well written

 

Thank you, I made it so long and generalistic so anyone who reads could make some use of my babble

 

So if anyone has a problem PM chevalier, and you'll get an answer you never thought you would get

 

Eh, don't feel bad Icingdeath, i'm 17 and haven't had a single girlfriend yet. Of course i can't stand most of the girls i know, but the few that i've asked out all said no

 

Then you're with a few other I think, because I'm 17 too.
And I had two girlfriends, I know have a third.

So you have or you haven't got luck in love

 

@Wiegraf Folles: that's not really a problem. It's more mature to abstain from silly relationships that serve only entartainment purposes, than to have them in abundance. Contrary to what people tend to think, believing in love is not immature - what point getting a girlfriend for the sake of having one? Bad bargain, you're better off going wherever you want whenever you want with whomever you want. I'm not telling you to buy the soulmate crap, but even the finest girl around won't be as good for you as one with whom you have some connection and for whom you have some genuine warm feelings.

I know you're already convinced , but let's strengthen this conviction a bit:

Imagine yourself with a fine girl you picked for, let's say, a cute face and charming smile - or keen wit and sparkling intelligence, whatever. After some time, you're beginning to feel restricted. After all, so many girls have cute faces and keen wits, and nice legs etc. You notice it wouldn't be a bad idea to get to know some of them better - and caboom: you already have a girlfriend. You like the girl and all, but you don't really feel like foregoing the other ones. You have to hurt her feelings ditching her and you well know it's not going to last. The longer you stay the more unberable it becomes. Plus, you're tied down when you meet a girl you really like. Not good...