Kitrax's Goodbye

Remove all ads!

I just heard about it myself, today - what terrible news. Like many of you, I didn't know Kitrax outside of Sorcerer's Place, but the interactions I had with him here were good. I'm sorry to hear about his death and I hope he found whatever he felt was missing in life.

 

May he rest in peace. Iku told me an hour ago. I will not say much more, it makes little point, except that I will always remember him coming to SP, looking at a roleplaying game, buying a new computer, thinking about my own passion for the tech. Rest in peace, Aaron, I wish we had talked more. I will remember you for your life indeed, you were a pillar of the community here. Proud to have known you, though I won't pretend we were close buddies. I remember your katanas like it was yesterday.

 

I've been away from SP for some time and just popped into the FAI to see who was about and Fel told me what happened. I'm so sad and so shocked at this - I can't quite get my head around it. Kit was such a valued member of this community for so many years - funny, clever, helpful and just a genuinely nice guy to be around.

Reading through the posts, it struck me how special each of you are and the community that you have made. Kit will never be forgotten here, of that I'm certain -- he will live on at SP, cherished by all of us. ;(

 

Yes, Spellbound, I agree that this place is amazingly special. Who'd have thought?

 

I just read this thread today... it's almost surreal, how he calmly announces he'll end his life. But it requires unimaginable depths of depression to overcome one's sense of self-preservation. I guess we'll never know what drove him to this act... there has to have been a catalyst; relationship and work are very common. "I can't take it anymore" means that obviously something was eating away at him.

He was a spirited character, from what I gleaned from his posts over the years. SP will miss a great contributor, in both expertise and humour.

All he asked of us, was that we remember him. Humble until the very end.
Rest in peace Kitrax.

 

Yes, Kitrax will be long remembered and missed by many of us. I still grieve for his family and offline friends.

 

If we here miss him as much as we do (and most of us only knew him online) then imagine what it must be like for his family and friends... Life is never the same after you lose someone.

 

This sucks. I return now only to find Kit has been gone for nearly the last month? Definite downer- he will be missed.

 

So true. This Thanksgiving I couldn't help thinking about his family how they will grieve this holiday season. For them it will be a sad time and my heart goes out to them. They will always miss him but holidays can be the hardest as you see that metaphorical empty chair.

On FaceBook I still miss his photo and know that I have lost a friend. I got to know him in FAI when he helped me with my computer problems. He was good and patient, it will hirt for a long time so how much more for his family and long time offline friends.

 

Thanks for posting that Tal. His poor parents, at least they are carrying on with their lives. Can't imagine how hard it must be to lose a child

 

Thanx for posting this bit Tal, it makes things more official with the parents response.
And it's nice to see that SP and the people here made and effect.

 

I'm sitting here at my keyboard with my eyes welling up with tears. Asking all the what ifs... what if he'd gotten different medication... or woken up a little later in the morning to find his mom with him... maybe he'd still be around. I hope he found his peace.

Thanks for sharing this Tal.

 

Thank you for sharing that. I don't know how I would carry on if I were in their position. Just thinking about it makes me want to go and hug my son.

 

I'm glad they enjoyed the flower arrangement.

On the other hand, it's very sad to think that he may not have been in complete control of his actions that morning due to the medication, side-effects and sickness. But, contemplation of what ifs won't make anyone happier, as those questions can no longer be answered. I was looking through one of the older threads yesterday and saw a post by Kit. I didn't know him extremely well, but I respect him enough to honor his last wishes: to remember his life (via his witty posts) and not his death.

 

Okay, right. But at the same time, after reading a note like that from his parents, I think it's natural to think about the the what ifs and the whys. I was emotionally impacted by reading their words, and I simply posted what I was feeling at that moment. It's possible to go too far in remembering someone's life, when you don't allow yourself the right to a little honest sorrow. That's simply not healthy.

 

Thank you, Tal, for sharing that. Those poor people I grieve for them. I, too, am crying as I type this.

 

Oh, of course! It's entirely natural and healthy to feel sad, my comment was in no way directed at you Marceror. I was simply musing about how I deal with loss.

For me, it is unhealthy to get lost in an endless loop of what ifs. It helps me to say "[Something] didn't happen and that sucks, it makes me sad." It's doesn't help me to go "What if I did [something]? What if he did [something]? What if his doctor did [something]? What if I did [something else]?" Contemplating and mourning is healthy and natural, so long as you realize that no amount of what ifs can change what happened. I don't mean that in any cruel or assaulting way and I certainly realize that everyone has their own way of mourning.

Grieve in your own way Marceror, I'm in no way judging you, and I wish you well-being of mind and body.

 

I appreciate the clarification. Since I had used your exact phrase (what ifs) just 2 posts prior to yours, I assumed you were somehow directing your comment at me.

That said, I agree with you. It is all too easy to go too far thinking about things that cannot be changed. A certain degree of this is normal, and even healthy, I think. But to dwell on it is most unhealthy and unproductive.

 

Thanks for that, Tal.

From what you quoted by his parents:

Anything more on that?