National stereotypes

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Um, Chris? Have I somehow triggered this potentially explosive thread by mentioning what Germans expect from Brits back in the 'what languages do you speak' topic??

 

Has anyone noticed that few people on the Boards actually fall into these categories.

 

@Morningstar...Are you insinuating that I am NOT fat, arrogant and stupid? Are you willing to back that kind of talk up?

 

European Union The Heaven or the Satan, you choose. We imagine we'll get awfully rich the day they let us in, but we fear they'll take our land, our industry etc until all major owners and white collars will be foreigners. They give us blatantly unfair conditions. Typical Pole doesn't realise it's his own government's fault (although he generally realises how much his government screws up)

Americans Cowboys, McDonald and American dream. It used to be a huge fascination that now has largely faded away. Even if we don't like Dubya, we like Americans. Americans are those funny fat and wealthy kind folk who only need to be taught some basic savoir-vivre (even if, at the same time, their ill manners are widely copied by various idiots who think they're 'cool'). We're slowly starting to realise that American Dream is what it is - a dream.

Canadians Between Americans and Brits. Most commonly associated with elks and maple syrup.

Italians Perfect mates. Males are not homosexual even if they wear make-up and skimpy outfits. Females make outstanding holiday tales for whole winter We prefer their girls and they prefer ours.

Black people Most probably medical doctors or students, if young enough. The good immigrants.

Asian people Most probably petty traders. Most probably selling clothes or some electronics. The good immigrants.

Romanian Gypsies Loud and scenically talented beggars who drive BMW's and smoke the dearest of cigarettes. The bad immigrants.

Gypsies Reclusive, distant and boycotting our state at all, not just our culture. They refuse to register births and deaths. They steal a lot and are dangerous. They also criticise and insult Poles at every opportunity.

Jews The wide-spread rumour of Polish anti-semitism is blatantly false. Among other reasons, also because 10% of our citizens used to be Jews and therefore it's hard to find someone without any blood connections with them. However, some people who spread the rumour of Polish militant anti-semitism and Polish responsibility for holocaust are actually Jewish, which is starting to affect the attitude towards the nation as a whole. The proceedings of Israel in Palestine contribute to this image. So does the fact that many of the hated Internal Security Office (commie special political police) and many other commies were Jewish. In case of whomever is Jewish but is not anti-Polish, the issue is totally nonexistent.

Russians Our Eastern brothers. More brothers than friends, actually, since you choose your friends but you don't choose your brothers Kind and hospitable people who can drink well. Fine girls, too. Russian vodka is also great. Perhaps even as good as ours. While we like Russians, we have exactly the opposite feelings for all Russian governments in history. Some of us, sometimes, have such feelings for Russia, not only Russian governments, but not for Russians.

Ukrainians, Belarussians Mafia and prostitutes.

Turks We fought them for ages, but we learnt to understand each other. We soon couldn't live without each other. They refused to recognise the partitions of Poland and they had a special diplomatic ritual: Q "Where is the envoy from Poland?" A "He has not arrived yet." For this we have warm feelings for them. And they make great food.

Scandinavians Rich and can drink. Highly desirable pick-up targets for both sexes. The lasses are incredibly fine (damn, even I tend to get slightly confused ) and girls say they're males are fine studs, too. The Swedes used to invade us, but they got their arses kicked, so everything is OK now. They helped us against Russia in early 18th century, which was nice of them.

Brits Strange. With some honest effort they can learn Polish and speak it well, but they stress words in a very funny way. Englishmen either are already homosexual or have homosexual tendencies. They think they can drink, but that's just pathetic. And they fail to show proper gratitude for saving them in 1940.

The French Funny little pompous pricks That is, for everyone who has had some contact with them. Otherwise, Poles haven't got out of 19th century and whoever speaks French is a cultural oracle for them. And if he's a real Frenchman... But this only lasts until you meet one They can even learn Polish, but they will never speak well. And they won't learn English, damn them! They also need a very strict savoir-vivre teacher.

The German They invaded us, right, but that was over sixty years ago. It takes a really old person to hold this against Germans in general. The big problem is MsSteinbach and the likes of her. In short: they treat partitions and WWII as a non-issue, but they will brag about private property left behind when several lands were returned to Poland after WWII. They also tend to forget that the lands belonged to us in 1000 AD. While an individual German isn't responsible for what he's taught at school (unless your chosen Pole is a moron), that approach is a major problem. More because it's unjust than because it's inconvinient for us. Most Poles don't solidarise with car thieves and would likely cut their balls of so that they wouldn't breed, and hate to be associated with them.

The Spanish and the Greek Fine folks, kind and hospitable. Nice when they come here, and nice when we come to them. Italians are also viewed this way. For the Spanish testosterone is what vodka is for us

The Czech and Slovakian Good beer makers and good beer mates. Fine, cheerful lasses who laugh often.

The Hungarian Friends since 1440.

Lithuanians Mutual distrust. And they all can speak Polish even if they refuse to.

Belgians and the Dutch The good Westerners. Even if the former are governed by podephiles and the latter smoke pot for breakfast and allow gay marriages, they still remember how our brave boys liberated their countries in WWII (same goes for Italy, BTW), contrary to ungrateful Brits whose butts we saved in the Battle of England in 1940.

NATO Our allies UK, US and France have already betrayed us twice. September 1939 and Yalta/Potschdam 1945, although we fought with them and for them, using for this purpose our own fundings the government managed to save from invading armies. Our contribution was more meaningful than of the French and see the results. We were sold to commies and our present economic, social and cultural condition is a direct consequence. The alliance with NATO member countries is supposed to last exactly until we get attacked by someone.

Ufff, I must say, we have quite a complex system of prejudices

 

France: beautiful country-happy people yet little comfort- nice to tourists (maybe that's because we speak French though)-extremely chauvinistic- replace English words by French ones they just make up

Germany: Beer-Lederhosen-sausages-Deutsche Gründlichkeit-bad taste in cars and clothes-still not over WW trauma

UK: Bad food-Burberry-hooligans-tea-humour, Monty pyton-The Queen-lovely scottish accent-White cliffs of Dover-poppies-pudding-hunting-Christmas shopping

US: Lots of weapons, nukes and others-generally stupid-crazy/dumb president-lots of fat people-no culture-lots of powerful people-imperialistic-lots of freaks-speak an awful version of english

The Netherlands: cheap-arrogant-cheap-weed-cheap-orange-cheap-blonde-cheap-tall-cheap-speak our language with the funniest accent-cheap-speak French with an even funnier accent-royals with problems-cheap-fond of laws and regulations-cheap-noisy campers-cheap-cheese

But really, we love you, Dutchies. At least I do

Italy: sun-beautiful-Romans-good food-vain-good wine-the pope-talkative-machos

Spain: lazy-Sinterklaas (don't worry,you don't know him )

Denmark: Junior Eurosong-beautiful country-wealthy country

Norway: Vikings-snow

Sweden: Lots of Blonde people-snow-wealthy-high suicide rate

Canada: bears-forests-beautiful country-cold-Quebec-people are much like their American enighbours, only a tad less fat

Poland: helped us in the war-Vodka-not very popular since we're going to have to pay for them when they enter the EU


Gaah, our prejudices suck.

[ November 16, 2003, 21:25: Message edited by: Uytuun ]

 

How ironic, we seem to feel the same way


Here are ours

Britts:

Stiff @ss britains, mary f*cking poppins, cold weather worse food (this actually taken out of "Snatch" , but I do agree.

USA:

Big, bigger, biggest. Dumb dumber and dumberer. Did I mention fat. Gun wielding, get really really drunk when turning 21.

Canadians:

They speak french, nough said

French

Arrogant, you could say they are arrogant. Extremely chauvanistic, some say they are arrogant, not friendly with the tourists I think. I think they are arrogant.

But man do they make the best wine or what!

Germans

Beer drinking, soccer loving, weener eating people.


Spanish

Extremely nationalistic.

Belgiums

The people who warmly greet our rich folk


Can't think of any other right now

 

@Hacken Slash

We were the first line of defense of the christian Europe against the muslim invasions for almost a millenium. We were the motivating force of the italian rennaissance (the majority of the greek scholars fled to Italy after the fall of Constantinople). We achieved the first allied victory in ww2. We gave poets like Kavafis, Kavadias and Elytis and composers like Vangelis Papathanasiou and Vasilios Polydouris. Shall I continue? Afterall, don't forget that when we were building Parthenon, you were still living on trees.

 

BOC, and all of you for that matter, I hope you realize that I was only joking and trying to answer the question in a "typically American" way. In truth, I have the deepest respect for the opinions, culture and practices of each one of you. I apologize if I offended anyone.

 

I know that you were joking and I am joking as well. I just couldn't resist to answer.

 

Ah, and each Greek male is a pocket Achilles

 

I thought each Greek male was a gay as the Brits are supposed to be?

 

No way, I once translated live in a double date two Greeks had with two Polish girls. They did show some interest I suppose it's just the looks

 

Well, we invented homosexuality but we decided to let the Brits to be the kings of the show. If you want a confirmation, you can ask the swedish girls, who come to Greece for holidays

 

This thread is sliding down lower and lower...

 

Western countries (U.S. and Europe) -
know nothing about oriental Aisa, especially its biggest country, cutural influencial China.

China - never conquered any other country in the world yet Americans say they are evil. Who discovered pi (22/7)? Who invented paper, compass, printing tech. and fire power? You would imagine a people who invented fire power to be militarily aggressive, but guess what.

Thailand - this is the biggest hippy nation in the world. When British came, they let them in; when Japanese came, they let them use their seaports. They remained the only un-colonized contry among 10 southeast asian countries. They get along with any good and evil just fine.

Korea - the whole nation is obsessed with plastic surgery and Starcraft. One can say that Starcraft single handedly revitalized their retail economy after recent Asia economy crisis. It is also rare that a teenage Korean do not save his/her summer earnings for plastic surgery.

Japan - i cannot say anything bad about them, they gave me the best porn in the world. Madoka Ozawa, i love you!!!

India - poor country (pun intended). India culture started from Ganges river delta and India river delta but these two pieces of land do not belong to them now. Some thousands of offical languages spoken and some millions of deities flying around in their heaven, even Jesus is their deity.

Singapore - poor people.

• COE = if you want to own a car, you have to buy a COE in a monthly open auction. The price of COE is roughly equal to the price of a car. Their government imposed at least 100% tax on each car.
• 10 years = that's the age of your car. Like it or not, you have to throw your car away after 10 years.
• ERP = "every right turn, pay". To regulate traffic, their government set up toll at every busy street.
• 2/3 = That's the minimum gas required in a Singaporean car if it were to be driven to Malaysia. Malaysia gas, cheap； Singapore gas, costly expensive.
• no bubble gam = yes, bubble gam is illegal in Singapore. Rumors that people used to stick them on subway train doors (imagine the sight when the door opens) which forced the government to put a permanent ban on it.
• national service = imagine when you are 40 years old, spent most of your time in office daily, and here comes the nightmare, re-service. Who can carry a m16 and a beer belly at the same time?

 

hey people dont confuse us decent scottish people with the uncivilized mob down south, also the welsh and irish are good aswell, so dont say UK, say England and give seprate entries for scotland, wales and ireland

 

"Who can carry a m16 and a beer belly at the same time?"

We have those in Denmark. We call them the Homeguard!

To stay on topic, I would like to comment our "fine" neighbours the swedish.

In Sweden, alcohol is expensive and almost prohibited. In Denmark, you just have to be above 15 and can buy in every type of shop. This means that some places in Copenhagen and Helsingør get invaded by drunk swedish people. Hence we have a term called "svenskerstiv", which translates into something like "busted like a swedish!"

Beside that, it is absolutely impossible to understand anything at all from what they are saying, drunk or not!

Systembolaget - Ewww!

@Velve, funny I'm for an 100% ban on smoking.

[ November 17, 2003, 00:26: Message edited by: Grovflab ]

 

Hey Grovflab, then you must know that I am from Sweden and I am for an almost 100% ban of alcohol.

 

Netherlands: that little country up North full of cheese and weed, they do have a strange way to speak Dutch. Their politicians get shot in dark alleys.

Luxembourg: Unhabited country, only mail adresses, bank offices and gas pumps exist there, I never met a Luxembourgian outside of Brussels. Their politicians are professional actors.

Germany: Strange country that rarely bothers to knock before passing trough Belgium whenever they try to invade France. Lately, it seems they recycled all that extra energy in techno parades. Good for them, and for us. Their politicians forget to open their parachutes.

France: Big land South of here, for some reason all their citizens seem to come study in Belgium. Good food, big mouths, but friendly bunch for the most part. Also rarely bothered to knock before passing trough Belgium whenever they tried to invade the rest of Europe. Good soccer team. Their politicians shoot themselves in the head.

UK: Bizarre country full of royalists and Beckham fans, despite conquering half of the world, they never managed to improve their cuisine or brew a beer worthy of the name. Their princesses die at the hand of paparazzi.

Spain: Also conquered half of the world, still they can't put decent food on the table. The country is like a giant sinked tanker magnet, I suppose it's their way to get cheap oil. Their politicians get blown up by ETA bombs.

Italy: Home of the mafia, the third best food in the world, the least shaved women I saw in western Europe excluding Portugal, a ****load of Roman leftovers. Their politicians don't rule the country, they own it.

Turkey: Strong people who do very well at heavy-lifting contest. Partly responsible for messing up the Balkans. Seem to be stuck between Europe and the middle-east. Their politicians hunt Kurds on Fridays.

Greece: Historical heart of democracy, homosexuality and bickering with Turkey. Also have a ****load of antique leftovers. Drive like drunken lamas. Use their horns at every occasion (possible pun)

Canada: Some would think they belong in Europe, but for some reason they preferred not only to be neighbors with the US but also the be freezing their asses on winter. Didn't spared them being commonwhealth cannon fodder along with Australia though. They speak French rather funnily too.

US: Strange people that always have a score to settle violently with a distant nation because they can't find it on the map. Currently perceived to be the biggest global threat to well-read cinéphiles who love Truffaud's work. East-coast rappers are more funny than anything else. Their politicians are mostly total morons, for the others get shot.

Russia: Big nation always involved in a war of some sort. Full of mafiosi, nukes, terrible prisons and crazy writers. Their politicians eat Chenchens for breakfast.

 

China: the people are short..except for yao ming