National stereotypes

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Why do folk like our accent so much, considering half the has been over-run by neds (Scottish version of a scowser, I suppose)?

 

China is not even close to overpopulated. The western half of the country (even the parts that aren't in mountain ranges) is almost uncivilized. (Well, ok, I say that because they have no sizable cities.)

But overpopulation of China is nonsense. Most of their people live in the east and south, which are certainly crowded. But they're not exactly starving over there. In fact, those in the most crowded areas are better off financially and nutritionally than those in the country.

 

Just a couple, not that I actually hold many of these opinions myself.

France: wine, truffles, over-protective of their champagne - anything not French must be 'bubbly wine' - but according to stereotype we have the French to thank for making oral pleasuring well-known.

Germany - stereotypically ugly women and brutal men, brutal-sounding language, hopeless at war

Russia - Vodka (yuck), cold, militaristic behaviour all the time.

UK - bunch of whingers, inflict the royal family on the rest of the world in one way or another, tried to conquer the world and failed - didn't even get close, scones!

US - still trying to conquer the world bit by bit inflicting their culture on the rest of the world, guns guns guns, dumb presidents (Bush, Clinton, Reagan especially), guns guns guns

Canada - eh?, lots of docile people, extremely polite (see Due South TV series), don't know much else

Italy - pizza, pasta, wogs and phallic symbolism in vehicle choice

Spain - love their bulls - literally (the Runngin Of The Bulls in Pamplona is actually a mating ritual)

Sweden - lots of snow, ABBA, AQUA, mostly hot-looking women though

Belgium - responsible for unleashing Van Damme on the rest of the world, French wanna-bes

China - short, quiet, trying to buy up the rest of the world, great films and film-makers

Japan - not quite as short as Chinese but still short, great films and film-makers on about the same level as China - in fact is there really a difference between the two?

Arabs - nuff said

Kiwis - always trying to beat us in sport, never quite seem to get there, great culture, little Australia

Aussies - rule the world in almost every sport we play, always have to come in and clean up the messes made by other nations in wars - eg Desert Storm, Gulf War, Britain's stuff-up in Palestine 1917, can';t be bothered taking over the rest of the world (which we could do easily) because then we'd have more lawns to mow


disclaimer - remember, this is not meant seriously, the views described here may not actually be held by anyone, especially if you feel like killing someone over them.

 

I am afraid we have to take responsibility for Abba but dont blame Aqua on us! That was a Danish/Norwegian joint venture, nothing Swedish about it. Many sins we have commited (amongst them writing and producing Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears first hits) but of Aqua we are innocent!

 

ROFL!
Damn... reading through the english sterotypical view. Funny!

My friend told me how she was talking to an Americam girl, and she wanted to know if my friend still had tea and biscuits at 5:00.

xP so funny... anyway. @Deathmage, your's are probably most like mine anyway, love that UK view.

USA: Arrogant. Funny accent. believe themselves to be above all others.
Australia: Also funny accent. They have christmas in the sun. ^_^
French: French accent, they wear berets and wear onions or garlic or whatever. Like cycling and wine.
Italy: Pizzas.
Germany: Sausages and plastic cheese (according to my friends) Feathers in their hats.
Russia: stereotypically evil, they all wear furs and have machine guns.
UK: Walking sticks and stiff upper lips and all that. "toodle tip old bean!"

My childish outlook on the big wide world

 

Plastic Cheese? Never heard of that! And these things are not feathers, but are called "Gamsbart" and is made of the fur of some kind of mountain animal. Anyway, it's a bavarian tradition, they don't really belong to us.

@joacquin: You cannot be blamed for Aqua, but for numerous other bad music acts. Do I have you remind of Dr. Alban? Or Whigfield? (Not that we are any better. Everytime I see Scooter I want to throw up.)

 

And the Germans have coaches in foreign countries who tend to loose in important matches.
Schade, Scottland, alles ist vorbei.
Well, at least he is a kind guy and he doesn't take it that bad, a rather sportive man.

 

We (the Flemmings) fought long and hard to get rid of the French dammit!

 

The flemmings: odd folk with delirious tendencies. Otherwise nice.

Swedes: gay. We have several jokes about this too proof it.

Brits: Big Brothers and policemen.

Americans: Big, fat, and black. Also speak grandly about their five billion budget to weapons, instead of saving the glimmering rainforests.

French: do not know how to recycle. Also, french women have the best boobs in the world.

Chinese: like to work like mad for a pay I would not even consider. Very friendly, though.

Indians: rabbits. Yeah, rabbits.

Arabians: suicidal and religious fanatics.

Russians: corrupted and a bit too much "on-the-show." Still, they know how to take things easy.

 

Oh yeah, forgot about Kiwis and their sheep!

As well as Irish being stupid and Scots being tight-fisted with money.

But hey, we Aussies can't all be Crocodile Dundee or Steve Irwin.

 

On the unemployment and vagrancy rate in Singapore: nil, because the unemployed swiftly become vagrants who are then quickly arrested for vagrancy, which is an offense.

Hence, nil unemployment rate.

And yes, Singapore sucks. If any country deserved a terrorist attack causing thousands of deaths, it's Singapore.

 

the only thing that comes to mind when i think of the states is a quote from Snow Crash

"This is America. People do whatever the fuk they feel like doing, you got a problem with that? Because they have a right to. And because they have guns and no one can fuking stop them.... There's only four things we (America) do better than anybody
else: music, movies, microcode (software), and high-speed pizza delivery"

Europe Asia, and the other contents I have no opinon
on as i have never been there.

 

lol these have been funny I must say. And Chevalier seems to have far too much to say on the topic... or is that just me?

So this is my American teenage stereotypes of the world:

The U.S.A. -- We're like the Texans in those old western movies. To us we're the good guy with the good looks and the super fast gun reflexes. To others we're the bad guy that's got far too many guns on him and to still others, we're the fat ugly one that's good for nothing. This image I think comes from the fact that Dubya is from Texas and Americans have a lot of guns which they like to shoot for no apparent reason. I blame the fact that our country is made up of rejects that all the other countries didn't want (murderers, thieves, and overall disfunctional families) I think this is evidenced by the fact that our crime rate is the highest in the world and Jerry Springer. The only country more screwed up than us are the Mexicans.

Mexico -- Even bigger cowboy hats than us, harder liquor than ours, and considerably dirtier, and scarier. Mexico seems to always have dirty people with no jobs that actually WANT to move to America because their government is even worse than ours. But what do you expect from a country that was once populated by people who regularly practiced human sacrifices? They also have some great artists

Australia -- Kind of like the U.S. cowboys, were set up by a bunch of prison inmates and left there to fend with themselves and as such became very good at wrestling alligators. Also enjoy beer and are now well-know for some extremely unique animal species so all the zoologists go there.

New Zealand -- a bit like Australia but somehow cooler and tamer. They're also afraid of the sun because they're so close to the Ozone hole which European and American industries caused.

Spain -- conquered South America but became so obsessed with short term goals of money that their empire soon fell apart -- kind of like the Romans. And now they spend their money on strange traditions like throwing tomatoes at each other and running away from bulls. Good dancers, and enjoy very late night partying which they make up for with an hour long siesta in the middle of the day. And they say Americans are lazy. . .


And it would seem I'd be the first to attempt South America.

Peru -- Once the Incans got killed by the Spanish and they then got rid of the Spanish, the country disappeared into the Amazon and the Andes and no news has come out of it since.

Argentina -- Evita and several frequent civil wars.

Brazil -- Speak Portugese instead of Spanish and are immensely proud of it. Great soccer players. They're also in charge of most of the Amazon Rainforest but seem to keep burning it down with every chance they can... Goodbye chocolate.

Columbia -- delights in trafficking drugs in the U.S. so our citizens get even more screwed up. Full of drug lords that immensely evil.

The rest of South and Central America: many Spanish speaking countries that are fairly poor and often ravaged by hurricanes and civil wars. For some reason we keep sending money to them. No one knows why. Probably because we're hoping we can turn it into something like Europe which of course will not work.

Canada -- Our fun, hockey-loving younger brother that we tend to bully in an obnoxious older brother way. A bit like us but without the cowboy hat or guns.

England -- our favorite uncle that sometimes dotes on us and at other times we kick in the shins because we're annoying.

France -- smelly bastards that are terribly mean to our naive tourists. They very much like wine and strange foods like snails and frogs. They probably drink the wine to drown out the taste of the rest of it. Somehow strangely the fashion capital of the world and probably more civilized than we are.

Scotland -- kilt-wearing, bagpipe players that live in cloudy bogs.

Germany -- **note** My perceptions of Germans come from my friend who often speaks in German to me (incorrectly at that) and went there over this summer so for some reason I think of all Germans as being very like him. As such I will simply say that they almost took over the world and since then have been happy with getting drunk and reminiscing over it.

Russia -- big, cold country with a very dictorial government no matter how many times they change it. Thought they could beat us in the arms race but failed because we like weapons.

Poland -- seemed to go back and forth between fighting off both the Russians and the Germans. Kudos to that then.

Greece -- Most of the western culture comes from them. I personally like them because of the fantasy aspect. But haven't seemed to do much in recent years.

India -- Bombay movies, thickly populated, Hindu, and they like cows.

Japan -- filled with samurais, demons, Pokemon, and loads of computer technicians. Always seem to be ahead of the curve technologically but they have to work four times as hard as us to do it. But at least their kids are not stupid because they study so much.

China -- thickly populated in the rich cities and sparsely so on their rice farms. They seem to be both a 1st world and 3rd world country at the same time because of it. And to fix this problem the government tries to get the rich people to spread out or have less kids and move the poor people to the cities. They're also obsessed with goldfish. (My best friend is Chinese and she spent an entire 3 months fishing for goldfish in her grandfather's pond)

Edit for spelling.

 

Here in South Africa we beset by stereotypes of other countries not that they are our own, but because they have been passed down from generation to generation. But then again we've just come through apartheid and everyone is still making up their minds as to what they should think!

America: We generally think that Americans are very snotty and our Muslim community would have us think that they are agents of the devil. The Indians unfortunately agree with the Muslims and whites have expressed no opinion so far as I have heard. The colored population thinks that America is the best thing that ever happened but that’s only because they produce the best movies. Odds are if an American were walking in the street, he would most probably get robbed. We also think that they are stupid seeing that every time a tourist comes they ask why there are know lions in the street?

British: Half the time we don't know what the British are talking about and we think they are very snotty too. They are to formal, too uptight and what’s up with all the tea? We also think they are most creative especially since they have gifted us with black comedy (Mr Bean and related comedies). P.S. What’s up with playing one game of Cricket for 5 days?

Asia: Most people in South Africa want to know why the men wear dresses? They produce the best Kung-fu movies ever and Jackie China (A.K.A. Jackie Chan) is our all time favorite (not me!)

Europe: Strange eating habits. Everybody wants to be in Paris or London. They play the best football ever.

South America: Most people think that they are still living in the dark ages. That’s not a problem though! They want to go there anyway just to become a Columbian drug-lord

Rest of Africa: We hate Nigeria's guts (We always lose if we play soccer), We hate mad Bob's guts (Rogert Mugabe, he’s just a little to mad for us), most people think that everything beyond S.A. is one big desert and that South Africa is the greatest nation in Africa.

 

It's just you

Yes, we will always kick ass for the force is strong with us

 

Right, time for a little revenge.

Disclaimer: This is far from what I actually feel about other countries.

France: The enemy. If there's any way of showing up the frogs, we'll take it. Poncey, slimy, snail-eating, incestuous amphibians!

USA: Our prime minister likes the US. We don't. Their entire existence revolves around three things: food, TV, and killing stuff. Their food is plastic crap my dog wouldn't touch. Their TV is woefully repetitive, propaganda bulls**t. Not to mention their movies. How dare they do that to the Italian Job? Bloody hell, how damn stupid can you get? And as for killing stuff, make sure you don't insult them, or you'll have six shotguns shoved up your arse.

Asia: Essentially one big country. It's where we get our food. I hear their economy is screwed.

Australia: Ex-con wannabe Brits.

New Zealand: I'm sure everyone is petrified by your rugby players' little ballet dance.

Africa: Just a big desert.

Russia: Vodka.

Spain: That's where the rejects of our society go on holiday. A whole country ready to serve you a Martini on the beach. Dodgy water.

Belgium: Oh dear God. Don't get us started on Belgium. The only noteworthy thing about it is that... er...

Holland: Pothead freaks, one and all.

Germany: The other enemy. Some of the less socially elite have a little phrase: "Two wars. One world cup." But of course, I would never say that, would I, ya tightassed gits?

The rest of Europe: All the same.

Scotland: Stop tossing your cabers and devouring raw haggis, and learn how to speak properly.

Wales: Sheep-shaggers.

Ireland: Daft buggers. Like blowing each other up.

NOTE: I DO NOT mean this seriously. I AM NOT BASHING YOUR COUNTRIES. I do not mean it. I do not mean it. I do not mean it.

 

Well, I do feel a little put off that us Canadians are like a mix of Britain, France and the US.

First of all, we do have french as our second language, but alot of us couln't string together a french sentence to save our lives.

Secondly, we have a right to be insulted if refered to in the following terms: Little US, the 51st state, America Jr., and/or that cold place to the north of America.

Third, I personally feel that the royal family is over-rated and should be taken off our money.

Now that that is taken care of, time for my opinions on the other countries.


America

Well, read what everyone else who isn't american said above and string it together. Yep. That's it. Listen to the song A**hole for more details.

Britain

We don't think to badly of you. Actually, we don't think of you too much at all, unless we need something, or if one of your royalty did something naughty.

Australia

Our warmer brethren. Still trying to figure out why Britain sent all of the criminals there and us respectable citizens here. (Brrr)

New Zealand

Nice place to visit, but to strict to live there.

Scotland

You guys kick ass and might even be able to hold your own in a drinking contest with us.

Mexico

Poor little fellas. Should we help them? They look so pathetic.

France

Hot chicks, good wine, nice culture. Bad water, funky odours and slapped around by Germany too many times.

Germany

Not too bad when you get past that whole Nazi thing. Your good chocolate, sausages and beer make up for it. (Winning our friendship with Octoberfest. For shame.)

Switzerland

Knives and khaki shorts.

All German Speaking Non-Germany Countries Except Switzerland

Stop kidding yourselves. Your Germany without the bad rep.

Greece

Yesterday's news.

Italy

Pasta making boot shaped country that can't decide which side they want to be on.

Middle East

Oil, war and American mistakes.

Russia

One of the few countries bigger and colder then us.

Asian Countries

People who move to the west coast of North America.


Well, that should do it. I believe I have insulted the rest of the world by now.

 

Not that i feel offended or anything just some clarification. In Greece not much good work is done in our days.
But outside Greece there are many Greeks who prosper and have done some very good researches and breakthroughs. But as i said mainly abroad. And another strange fact here too. There are more Greeks or with a Greek family tree abroad than in Greece (11 million in, 12 million out )

 

This video clip is about the way the rest of Canada sees Quebec: I am NOT Canadian.

Here are the words for those on dial-up who don't want to wait for the video file.

FAUSSE VERSION QUEBECOISE:
I'm not unemployed, or smuggling cigarettes across the border
I don't drink Pepsi for breakfast
I don't watch the hockey game while doing it doggy style
And no, I don't know Claude, Manon or Francois in Abitibi-Temiscamingue, but I'm sure they all have nice teeth
I smoke in church
I speak Quebecois and Joual, not French or English
I pronounce it 'turd' not 'third'
And eating french fries with cheese makes sense, mon ostie!
I believe in distinct society as long as someone else pays for it
I believe in language police not equal rights
And calice, I believe that Club Supersexe is an appropriate place for wife and me to celebrate our anniversaire, what the hell, she goes up at ten anyway!
In Quebec, the Stanley Cup actually comes around more often than Halley's Comet
I can get beer at the Depanneur, not at the convenience store
And maybe I can't turn right on a red light, but tabernaque! I can go right through it!
Because Quebec is the world's largest producer of maple syrup, the home of Celine Dion AND Roch Voisine
The land where everybody is shacking up
And the legal drinking age is just a suggestion
Je m'appelle Guy
And I am NOT Canadian! (Maudit tabernaque l'ostie)
Merci pour la visite

 

I'll have a wee shot of this:-

England: You won the world cup nearly half a century ago, no-one gives a s*it so just shut up about it!

Wales: Kind of boring really.

Scotland: C'mon now, everyone dreams of being Scottish, unless their English.

Ireland: Where Scots actually come from, but our accent's are much better.

Australia: Britain's castaway scum, I kinda wish we'd held onto them really, then we'd stop getting binned by them at sports.

America: I actually found them to be really nice folk, and not the bumbasses they are supposed to be. Havng said I've got mention what a bunch of fat bastards they are .

Poland: I would have taken as much notice of this country as I would passing wind, if it wasn't for Chev. Not much different now really.

Belgium: Fields and a cow.

France: Dirty, smelly buggers. Same for the rest of Europe really.