Post for random babbling, possibly with some sense, #3

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People and thinking sparks flying out of your computer is OK. Gees! Learn that sparks cause FIRE!! Yes, FIRE! That stuff that makes things go KABOOMB!!! HAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

*******
DAY 14
*******
(Two weeks!)

(My favorite Star Wars shoot out ---> )

Death Star, Detention Block

"This is not going to work." - Han

"Why didn't you say so before?" - Luke

"I did say so before!" - Han

Elevator doors open. A tall, grim looking Officer approaches the trio.

"Where are you taking this...thing?" - Officer (regarding Chewbacca)

"Prisoner transfer from Block one-one-three-eight." - Luke (tip of the hat to THX:1138)

"I wasn't notified. I'll have to clear it." - Officer

The officer goes back to his console and begins to punch in the information. There are three other troopers in the area. Luke and Han survey the situation, checking all of the alarms, laser gates, and camera eyes. Han unfastens one of Chewbacca's electronic cuffs and shrugs to Luke.

Suddenly Chewbacca throws up his hands and lets out with one of his ear-piercing howls.

"Look out! He's loose!" - Han

The startled guards are momentarily dumbfounded. Luke and Han have already pulled out their laser pistols and are blasting away at the terrifying Wookiee. Their barrage of laserfire misses Chewbacca, but hits the camera eyes, laser gate controls, and the Imperial guards. The officer is the last of the guards to fall under the laserfire just as he is about to push the alarm system. Han rushes to the comlink system, which is screeching questions about what is going on. He quickly checks the computer readout.

"We've got to find out which cell this princess of yours is in. Here it is...cell twenty-one-eight-seven. You go get her. I'll hold them here." - Han

Luke races down one of the cell corridors. Han speaks into the buzzing comlink.

"Everything is under control. Situation normal." - Han (sounding official)

"What happened?" - Intercom Voice

"Uh...had a slight weapons malfunction. But, uh, everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?" - Han (getting nervous)

"We're sending a squad up." - Intercom Voice

"Uh, uh, negative. We had a reactor leak here now. Give us a few minutes to lock it down. Large leak...very dangerous." - Han

"Who is this? What's your operating number?" - Intercom Voice

Han blasts the comlink and it explodes.

"Boring conversation anyway." - Han (yelling down the hall) "Luke! We're
going to have company!"

Luke unlocks the cell to see a dazzling young princess-senator. She had been sleeping and is now looking at him with an uncomprehending look on her face. Luke is stunned by her incredible beauty and stands staring at her with his mouth hanging open.

"Aren't you a little short to be a stormtrooper?" - Leia

Luke takes off his helmet, coming out of it.

"What? Oh...the uniform. I'm Luke Skywalker. I'm here to rescue you." - Luke

"You're who?" - Leia

"I'm here to rescue you. I've got your R2 unit. I'm here with Ben Kenobi." - Luke

"Ben Kenobi is here! Where is he?" - Leia

"Come on!" - Luke

DEATH STAR -- CONFERENCE ROOM

Darth Vader paces the room as Governor Tarkin sits at the far end of the conference table.

"He is here..." - Vader

"Obi-Wan Kenobi! What makes you think so?" - Tarkin

"A tremor in the Force. The last time I felt it was in the presence of my old master." - Vader

"Surely he must be dead by now." - Tarkin

"Don't underestimate the power of the Force." - Vader

"The Jedi are extinct, their fire has gone out of the universe. You, my friend, are all that's left of their religion." - Tarkin

There is a quiet buzz on the comlink.

"Yes." - Tarkin

"Governor Tarkin, we have an emergency alert in detention block A A-twenty-three." - Intercom Voice

"The princess! Put all sections on alert!" - Tarkin

"Obi-Wan IS here. The Force is with him." - Vader

"If you're right, he must not be allowed to escape." - Tarkin

"Escape is not his plan. I must face him alone." - Vader

DEATH STAR -- DETENTION AREA -- HALLWAY.

An ominous buzzing sound is heard on the other side of the elevator door.

"Chewie!" - Han

Chewbacca responds with a growling noise.

"Get behind me! Get behind me!" - Han

A series of explosions knock a hole in the elevator door through which several Imperial troops begin to emerge. Han and Chewie fire laser pistols at them through the smoke
and flame. They turn and run down the cell hallway, meeting up with Luke and Leia rushing toward them.

"Can't get out that way." - Han

"Looks like you managed to cut off our only escape route." - Leia

"Maybe you'd like it back in your cell, Your
Highness." - Han

Luke takes a small comlink transmitter from his belt as they continue to exchange fire with stormtroopers making their way down the corridor.

"See-Threepio! See-Threepio!" - Luke

"Yes sir?" - C-3PO (over comlink)

"We've been cut off! Are there any other ways out of the cell bay?...What was that? I didn't copy!" - Luke

DEATH STAR -- MAIN BAY GANTRY -- CONTROL TOWER.

Threepio paces the control center as little Artoo beeps and whistles a blue streak. Threepio yells into the small comlink
transmitter.

"I said, all systems have been alerted to your presence, sir. The main entrance seems to be the only way in or out; all other
information on your level is restricted." - C-3PO

Someone begins banging on the door.

"Open up in there!" - Voice

"Oh, no!" - C-3PO

*******
ANSWER
*******
The answer to yesterday's quiz is "Frank". Frank Palpatine .

"I must be Frank your Majesty."

 

That's pretty lame Big B

 

I find your lack of faith disturbing.

Who you trying to kid? I'm the King of Lame! (Shralp and I did a full fledged hour long pun contest in the chat today. We even got Z-Layrex to cave in and join us at the end, heck even Damona slipped up a few times )

 

Meine Schwanze ist Gross

 

Biggy B, that was nuts. Nuts I tell you! I'm not even gonna bet that you can't do it with a jungle theme, because I now believe that you can. I am humbled by your and Shralp's pun-ability. You might say I got swept away with the undertow.

 

Sorry Big B, I had no idea

Thanks for bringing up the Chatroom, I had a question about it:
Does anyone have any idea why that every time I go to the Chatroom screen, there's a large rectangular part of the screen (I assume this is the part where people chat) that doesn't load, there's just a little icon in the top left corner (a "picture" icon)?

[This message has been edited by Faerus Stoneslammer (edited May 02, 2002).]

 

I strongly believe that I can fly if I flap my arms fast enough...

BTW, go check out this incredibly picture: Cyclops Calf

 

*******
DAY 13
*******

On board Vader's Flagship, the Executor

Darth Vader is alone in his chamber. A strange sound enters the room and a light begins to play across Vader's black figure. He bends down on one knee. A twelve-foot hologram of the Galactic Emperor materializes before Vader.

"What is thy bidding, my master?" - Vader

"There is a great disturbance in the Force." - Emperor Palpatine

"I have felt it." - Vader

"We have a new enemy -- Luke Skywalker." - Emperor Palpatine

"Yes, my master." - Vader

"He could destroy us." - Emperor Palpatine

"He's just a boy. Obi-Wan can no longer help him." - Vader

"The Force is strong with him. The son of Skywalker must not become a Jedi." - Emperor Palpatine

"If he could be turned, he would become a powerful ally." - Vader

"Yes. Yes. He would be a great asset. Can it be done?" - Emperor Palpatine

"He will join us or die, my master." - Vader

********
Comments
********

I love how Vader refers to Luke as an "ally" and the Emperor calls him an "asset".

I have a couple more reviews today by film projectionists who got advanced screenings, but they're so spoilerific I won't link to them in the reviews thread because I don't want to tempt the people who have strived so hard to stay unspoiled . But if anyone who is interested, just pm me. But don't worry, there will be some official, no spoiler reviews coming.

Faerus, try the following link for chat help and mirc information: http://sorcerers.net/Community/IRC/index.php

 

Another story from a tech support:

I work for the computer help desk of a large university. One of our more memorable clients is infamous for what I can only describe as techno-paranoia. The last time she called to tell us we were going to have to do something about the "Internet Communists." She was convinced that they were getting into her PC through her television and putting typographical errors in her word processing files. "They weren't there before," she insisted, "and I don't make those kinds of mistakes!"

Please will you tell me what you think of my songs - http://www.sorcerers.net/ubb/Forum12/HTML/000132.html Thank-you

[EDIT] Wow this was my 250th post and it was also the 250th reply to this topic

[This message has been edited by Lazy Bonzo (edited May 03, 2002).]

 

I'm beat. I just got done jumping on a trampline for an hour. I cant feel my legs and when I can down the steps to get to by computer I all most fell the whole way! Anyways, it's another weekend and I bored like always. I really most find something to do besides run around.

 

*******
DAY 12
*******
(spoiler if you've never seen ROTJ )

Death Star, The Emperor's Throne Room

The turbolift opens. Vader and Luke enter the room alone. They walk across the dark space to stand before the throne, father and
son side by side beneath the gaze of the Emperor. Vader bows to his Master.

"Welcome, young Skywalker. I have been expecting you." - Emperor Palpatine

Luke peers at the hooded figure defiantly. The Emperor then looks down at Luke's binders.

"You no longer need those." - Emperor Palpatine

The Emperor motions ever so slightly with his finger and Luke's binders fall away, clattering to the floor.

"Guards, leave us." - Emperor Palpatine

The red-cloaked guards turn and disappear behind the turbolift.

"I'm looking forward to completing your training. In time you will call me Master." - Emperor Palpatine

"You're gravely mistaken. You won't convert me as you did my father." - Luke

The Emperor gets down from his throne and walks up very close to Luke. The Emperor looks into his eyes and, for the first time,
Luke can perceive the evil visage within the hood.

"Oh, no, my young Jedi. You will find that it is you who are mistaken...about a great many things." - Emperor Palpatine

"His lightsaber." - Vader

Vader extends a gloved hand toward the Emperor, revealing Luke's lightsaber. The Emperor takes it.

"Ah, yes, a Jedi's weapon. Much like your father's. By now you must know your father can never be turned from the dark side. So will it be with you." - Emperor Palpatine

"You're wrong. Soon I'll be dead...and you with me." - Luke

The Emperor laughs.

"Perhaps you refer to the imminent attack of your Rebel fleet." - Emperor Palpatine

Luke looks up sharply.

"Yes...I assure you we are quite safe from your friends here." - Emperor Palpatine

"Your overconfidence is your weakness." - Luke

"Your faith in your friends is yours." - Emperor Palpatine

"It is pointless to resist, my son." - Vader

"Everything that has transpired has done so according to my design." - Emperor Palpatine (indicates Endor)

"Your friends up there on the Sanctuary
Moon..." - Emperor Palpatine

Luke reacts. The Emperor notes it.

(cont)
"...are walking into a trap. As is your Rebel fleet! It was I who allowed the Alliance to know the location of the shield generator. It is quite safe from your pitiful little band. An entire legion of my best troops awaits them." - Emperor Palpatine

Luke's look darts from the Emperor to Vader and, finally, to the sword in the Emperor's hand.

"Oh...I'm afraid the deflector shield will be quite operational when your friends arrive." - Emperor Palpatine (I love how he feigns somberness in the delivery of this line)

*******
Rumored Episode III title is: Sith Happens

 

I think the best time of day, is night!

 

*******
DAY 11
*******

Jedi Temple

Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon stand outside the temple on a balcony.

"The boy will not pass the Council's tests, Master, and you know it. He is far too old." - Obi-Wan

"Anakin will become a Jedi...I promise you." - Qui-Gon

"Don't defy the Council, Master..not again." - Obi-Wan

"I will do what I must." -Qui-Gon

"Master, you could be sitting on the Council by now if you would just follow the code. They will not go along with you this time." - Obi-Wan

"You still have much to learn, my young apprentice." - Qui-Gon

Jedi Temple Council Chambers

Anakin stands before twelve Jedi. Mace Windu holds a small hand-held viewing screen. In rapid succession, images flash across the screen.

"A ship...a cup...a speeder." - Anakin

Mace Windu turns the viewing screen off and nods toward Yoda.

"Good, good, young one. How feel you?" - Yoda

"Cold, sir." - Anakin

"Afraid are you?" - Yoda

"No, sir." - Anakin

Anakin hesitates for a moment.

"See through you, we can." - Yoda

"Be mindful of your feelings..." - Mace Windu

"Your thoughts dwell on your mother." - Ki-Adi Mundi

"I miss her." - Anakin

"Afraid to lose her..I think." - Yoda

"What's that got to do with anything?" - Anakin (angry)

"Eveything. Fear is the path to the dark side... fear leads to anger... anger leads to hate... hate leads to suffering." (sighs) "I sense much fear in you." - Yoda


******
Humor
******
Abbott & Costello? Try Yoda and Jar Jar here .

 

This may be just me, but after the first couple of times you hear Yodas 'catchphrase' did anyone else just get the urge to pick him up and drop-kick him to a galaxy far,far away.

 

Help me! Ex the mod is after me!

This is not good...

 

In Forest Gump voice:- Run Yerril, RUN!

[EDIT] The art of languages is an impressive one, even more so when it is mis-used.
When translating enlish to spanish these ads were (mis-)translated:-
A ball point pen advert-
English: "It won't leak in your pocket and embarrass you"
Spanish: "It wont leak in your pocket and make you pregnant"

An advert for a chicken product on a billboard showing a man holding a chicken-
English: "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken"
Spanish: "It takes a hard man to make a chicken aroused"

Various other (mis-)translations:-

The American slogan for Salem cigarettes, "Salem - Feeling Free," got translated in the Japanese market into "When smoking Salem, you feel so refreshed that your mind seems to be free and empty".

In a Tokyo bar: Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts.

In a Tokyo hotel: Is forbitten to steal hotel towels please. If you are not person to do such thing is please not to read this notice.

In a Japanese hotel room: Please do bathe inside the tub.

In a Japanese hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid.

Diversion sign in Kyushi, Japan: Stop - Drive Sideways.

Text on a shopping bag showing yachts on a blue sea: "SWITZERLAND: SEASIDE CITY".

In a Paris hotel elevator:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant: "Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop: "Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

In a Bangkok dry cleaner's: "Drop your trousers here for best results."

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
"Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute customers in strict
rotation."

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office: "We take your bags and send them in all directions."

And now some grammar worthy (is that the right word?) of the late icecold/cream:

In a hotel in Athens: "Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."

"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except Thursday."

In a Rome laundry: "Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having a good time."

Enjoy!

[This message has been edited by Lazy Bonzo (edited May 05, 2002).]

 

It wasnt a boring weekend after all! In fact it was a fun week end. WOOHOO! Saterday morning I woke up a 6 to cut down tree's for 6 hours! It was the best. Hacking and cutting. I cleared about a 50 foot area that you couldn't even walk through before I took it on. The only problems was that when I cut down one tree another tree that was on top of it feel on my head! Where it can from I dont know :hmmm: The really bad thing was that the people sawing away at a tree in back of me about 50 feet up in the air, was all the saw dust that I breathed in! No to day my througt glands feel like sand paper. Finaly score DRSW 35 vs. Trees 2.