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Hey! My natural hair colour is blonde, and I happen to be one of the most intellectually-capable individuals that I know. So is my sister. And my mother.
In all humour, though, there is one blond person I know (though he's male) who probably would think that Frosted Flakes are a puzzle meant to be assembled, rather than sustenance meant to be ingested.

 

So there's an airliner flying along, and the pilot and navigator are in the cockpit. Without saying a word, the pilot reaches under his instrument panel, pulls out a Colt .45, and sets it on the panel.
The navigator looks over and says, "Hey Skipper! What's with the gun?" The pilot looks at him and shouts, "I use THIS on idiot navigators who get me LOST!"
After a few minutes, the navigator reaches under his console, pulls out a 9 mill oistol and sets it next to him, all without a word. The pilot tries to ignore it, but finally he can't take it anymore and asks what the gun's for.
The navigator looks at him and says, "With all due respect Captain, I'll know we're lost before you will."

 

Fara: Personally, I certainly wouldn't eat the damn things.

 

I did not mean to offend anyone who is blonde when I was younger I was blonde but my hair is darker now, I seemed to be a lot more intelligent then. Most blondes I know are also very intelligent. The blondes I do know who are rather daft are usually dyed blonde. It is simply easier to label a joke stereotypical as most stereotypes are known better

 

I personally think that natural blondes are very intelligent, but as for bleached blondes...

Two Irish lads had been out shacking up with their girl friends. One felt guilty and decided he should stop at the church and confess. He went into the confession booth and told the Father, "Father, I have sinned. I have committed fornication with a lady. Please forgive me." The Father said, "Tell me who the lady was." The lad said he couldn't do that and the Father said he couldn't grant him forgiveness unless he did.
"Was it Mollie O'Grady ?" asked the Father."
"No."
"Was it Rosie Kelly?"
"No."
"Was it that red-headed wench Tessie O'Malley?"
"No."
"Well then," said the Father, "You'll not be forgiven."

When the lad met his friend outside the friend asked, "So, did you find forgiveness." "No," said the other, "but I picked up three good prospects!"
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Four priests board a train for a long journey to a church council conference. Shortly into the trip, one pries says "Well, we've all worked together for many years, but don't really know one another. I suggest we tell each other one of our sins." They look nervously at each other but nod OK. The first priest says "Since I suggested it, I'll go first. With me it's the drink. Once a year I take off my collar and go out of town to a pub and drink myself blind for a few days. Get it out of my system." They all look each other again nervously, but the next priest slowly starts "Wellll......with me, it's gambling. Periodically, I nick the money out of the poor box and go to the races. Spend it all! I get it out of my system." The third, who is really nervous now reluctantly says "This is very difficult. My sin is worse. I take off my collar and go into the red light district, pick out a lass, and spend a week in the saddle. I REEEEAAALY get it out of my system." They all look at the fourth priest waiting. He doesn't say anything. Then one of the four speaks up "Come now, we've all told our innermost faults. It's your turn." He looks at the others and starts hesitantly "Welllllll..... I'm an inveterate gossip, and I can't wait to get off this train!"

 

A guy buys a well. he falls in and sees a good spirit. The spirit says: "I can grant you one wish" The guy says: "Give me a beer!" "But I won't" the spirit contineus his sentence. "I'm a spirit not a Djinn!"

 

@Sleepless: ...

 

A gay man named Roger goes into the doctor's office and has some tests run. The doctor comes back and says "Roger, I am not going to beat around the bush. You have AIDS." Roger is devastated. "Doc, what can I do?"

The doctor says "I want you to go home and eat 5 pounds of spicy sausage, a head of cabbage, 20 un-peeled carrots drenched in hot sauce, 10 Jalapeno peppers, 40 walnuts and 40 peanuts, 1/2 box of All Bran cereal, and top it off with a gallon of prune juice." Roger asks, "Will that cure me, Doc?"

"No, but it should leave you with a better understanding of what your arsehole is for."

 

Nasty...

A man get his monthly inspection from the doctor.

The doctor says "I have good and bad news for you"

Man - "give me the bad news first"

Doctor - "I am afraid that you are a raving homosexual"

Man "And whats the good news doctor?" he asks hopefully.

Doctor "The good news is that I love you!"

 

Ron goes to the doctor for the pain in his right leg.

Ron "Look doc, I have this killer pain in my right leg, can you help me?"

Doc "Take off all your clothes, go to the window and stick your tongue out."

Ron "What? How's that gonna help my leg?"

Doc "It won't, but I'm mad at my neighbour."

 

A good friend will bail you out of jail.

A great friend will be in the cell next to you saying,"Damn, that was fun!"

 

Most excellent Nakia! All too true, I love it! It is now my favourite quote

So its good to have a great friend, and a good friend to bail the two of you out

 

Good one Nakia. I've heard another along that line as well.

A good friend will help you move.

A great friend will help you move a body.

 

I like that better, Jaguar. Yours is great too, RF.

edit: You should know about moving, Jaguar.

 

Warning: Eight extremely lame jokes incoming.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who's flying over a fence? Homer.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who's sitting on your doorstep? Matt.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who's splattered on the wall? Mark.
What do you call a girl with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who's sitting by a railroad track? Spike.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who's sitting in a bank? Buck.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who's hanging on a museum wall? Art.
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs who's simmering in a pot of water? Stu.

I told you they were lame. It's your own fault for reading them.

 

A leper walks into a bar and as he gets his beer, a finger falls off. The bartender who is serving him turns and pukes all over the place. The leper, feeling bad, says, "Was it my finger falling off?" The bartender turns to him and says, "No, it's the guy dipping chips into your back."

 

And there goes my lunh. Thanks Barmy.

 

Two priests are off to the showers late one night. They undress and step into the showers before they realize there is no soap.
Father John says he has soap in his room and goes to get it, not bothering to dress.

He grabs two bars of soap, one in each hand, and heads back to the showers.

He is halfway down the hall when he sees three nuns heading his way.

Having no place to hide, he stands against the wall and freezes like he's a statue.

The nuns stop and comment on how life-like he looks.

The first nun suddenly reaches out and pulls on his manhood.

Startled, he drops a bar of soap.

"Oh look" says the first nun, "it's a soap dispenser".

To test her theory the second nun also pulls on his manhood.... sure enough he drops the second bar of soap.

Now the third nun decides to have a go. She pulls once, then twice So she gives
several more tugs, then yells!

"Holy Mary, Mother of God - Hand Lotion too!"

 

.... Good one SotC! if a little sick.... well, more than a little, but still good

 

I was a little worried about postin it actually...