Random Babbling Post #23

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I'm so glad I don't have to go to work today. I think we'll rent and movie and make a mountain of popcorn to celebrate.

 

Better make it a good movie.

 

Or real good popcorn!

 

I've had no luck with this question, despite all the people I've asked. Now i'm turning it over to the wonderful people of SP. My question: Why is it that some girls will stay attached to a guy, no matter how bad they are treated?

 

Oh dear, I think this question should probably have its own thread in AoDA because there are going to be some controversial answers.... (that's your cue, Chevalier.....)

 

@Wiegraf Folles: do post that in the AoDA. Seems a nice debate material and is quite related in topic to that last thread I've made there.

 

Went to the chatroom tonight for the first time in over a year, and I didn't have anything to say. Ah well, sounds about right for me.

 

Breathe in; breathe out. Repeat. *sigh* Sunday night's gonna be a big night; I get to find out if that incredible girl chooses me over this other guy she likes...Things aren't looking good for me, I'm about 95% sure she's gonna choose him to spend monday with.

I mean, she suggested the other day that we might spend another night in her tent again this coming sunday night. I brought it up once or twice since, and tonight when I mentioned it; she said that this other guy had just invited her to go to the them park with him again on monday. She said she'd choose depending on her mood. But she wouldn't have brought it up at all if she hadn't already decided to go with him...she's just giving me some advance warning so that I don't take it too hard when she shoots me down on sunday.

I can't believe it's come to this! I know she had a crush on him beforehand. But then she spent a day with him at a theme park and then the movies. After which she told me she doesn't like him that way anymore...but she had a date with him last night. She enjoyed it...

And now she has to decide whether she wants to spend sunday night/monday morning with me, or go to the theme park with this guy again.
*sigh* .

I think I'm gonna cry...I know she's gonna pick him. I just know it. I hope she doesn't, I *wish* that she won't. But I know she will. She has to. He's got so much more to offer her than I do. She says her decision will depend on her mood; on what she feels like doing (ie. a good fun day at a theme park with a fun guy; or spend the night in the arms of a depressing, quite boring guy)

...what can I do? I just hope she chooses the guy that makes her happy (or happier)...and I'll just pray that that guy is me. Hopefully that guy will make her as happy as she makes me.

EDIT: Oh yeah...and she can't do both because she doesn't wanna risk being burnt out for work the next day...and I'm with her on that. The last thing I want is for something bad to happen to her 'cause she's too exhausted because of me...
And plus; as much as the choice I know she's gonna make is gonna huty me...it needs to be made. I want to know if she'd rather spend time with him or me.

Even though it might not really even mean anything...doesn't matter. It'll mean a lot to me. This may be just a mood decision for her; but to me it's her choice between him and me.
*sigh*

[ July 02, 2004, 07:39: Message edited by: Faerus Stoneslammer ]

 

What happened with the other girl you had mentioned before Faerus? The one you were working with that liked you. Maybe it's time for you to spend some time with different people. It seems like the one you like has you tied around her little finger. You may think being dependable is a positive thing but I think it is actually hurting you. She knows that you will be there any time she wants so there is no challenge there. It is so true that people usually want what they can't get. Break a couple of dates with her and I bet she will start to get interested in why you haven't been around. Spend some time with other people and develop a social life that does not have her as the nucleus.

You don't have to cut her entirely out of your life but if you change your dependancy on her she might start to realize that she has a certain dependancy on you.

 

Break off a date? Never. And even if I wanted to have a social life that didn't include her; I just don't have any friends within a half-hour's drive. And since I don't have a car...

I dunno...I don't work with that second girl very often (once every few weeks). And I don't really like her. I mean, if the first girl weren't here, there'd be no question. But now; I can't just forget about that first one. She's the one I've fallen for...so she takes priority .

And I don't think she has me wrapped around her finger. I mean, almost all of the times we've gone out have been because of my suggesting it.

And I like being there whenever she wants me. Too bad she almost never actually comes to see me...it's almost always me going to her. Not sure I care though...as long as I'm with her.

Oh God I hope she chooses me...

 

I see living people! They are running in cirkels every day, people and places places and people, all running out of time.

I see an army of badgers coming from the north trampeling down everything they encounter on there path to glory. Sword in hamd armed to the teeth.

I see a tree filled with fresh pickles growing there in the bright morning sun speadind a curious odeur.

I see a man waiting for something to happen, he is standing there for two weeks now with a cowboy hat and a violin in his hand. He doesn't eat he doesn't sleep he just stands there. Waiting.

I see the warriors of the moon, trying to stop the endless attacks of the Maiden ****** Demons. There they are two paladdins a warrior a sorcerres and a clerk.

I see a bunny, hiding eastereggs on webpages and in games. It's a real large bunny a bit taller then the average human. He whispers my name, and tells me to follow him...

I see a portal leading down to the center of the earth, this is where hell looks like: It's filled with BBQ's and hockey girls. Lucifer is sitting there on his throne smiling at his his demons and the topless dancers, having a good time.

I see a big evil eye looking down from the sky watching people every inch they move.

I see a rockband playing a Turbonegro cover drinking beer and having a good time while groupies are at there feed. Fans are excited fueld by the loud music and alcohol.

I see a man on the other side of the street he has a gun.. better stop looking now...

 

@Faerus: Never take it literally when a girl says she no longer likes some guy "this way". Or you. Or that she actually does. No, I'm not being sarcastic here, I mean it seriously. It always needs to be taken with a pinch of salt.

As I see it, the girl is having a dilemma. If she really were seriously into that guy, a night in tent with you would be a non-option. It's one of those things that don't mean anything if you're single, but tend to look different when you're taken.

However, the whole rest suggests that you get it right and she's preparing you for something worse. It seems she wants to keep both of you - you and that other guy. Head to the AoDA (this thread) if she seems to like you on certain days of the month better than on the others. Maybe she wants you to compete with that other guy - either for you to prove better than the other guy, or for her to confirm she's making the good choice.

 

Errr - and I'm sure that Chevy isn't suggesting that you beat the living **** out of him either...

 

Tra la la la la la, dance the whole day long!!

 

@Aik: Yeah, that's never the solution.

@Faerus: You have to prove more attractive to her than the other guy, sure. But you won't achieve that by wishing, regretting and such. If you start thinking he has more to offer, he will have more to offer. You never fully know what the girl likes, what precisely her preferences are, and all. People won't believe in you if you won't believe in yourself.

Edit: One more thing:

Sorry, but that's exactly why she has you wrapped around her finger.

 

I just got my classlist for next year, most of the cool people are in the other class next year, that's not nice...

I gonna see Autumn tomorow!

 

Chev, where do you get your information? No offence here Chev, I know you are smart but how did you become the expert on women's feelings when you have indicated that you've never really had a long-term relationship. I know a lot more about women's feeling considering that I am one. Believe it on not, sometimes we do mean what we say.

 

I'm not gonna say I disagree...but I'm not sure I understand why. And I gave a bit of thought to my being wrapped around her finger...and...heh, I really am. Everything always depends on how she feels or what she wants. But you know what; I don't care. I also don't see it as being wrapped around her finger. That has too many negative connotations. And it's more complicated than I've explained so far; it's just that I'm not sure to explain everything any better...not in any reasonably short post at least.

I don't know if she's trying to get us to compete with each other over her. In fact, I'm pretty sure she's not. She tells me that she doesn't like either of us "that way". She cares about me quite a bit. I'm pretty sure she likes him...despite what she says. And I'm almost positive that she's annoyed with me. So it's not so much a question of us competing, as it is of her deciding which would be better to spend time with (and this naturally depends on her mood).

...I know she cares about me, as more than a friend, but less than a boyfriend...but I think I've been pushing for too much of her time lately; the past couple days I've seen her, she seemed irritated. That time of the month? Maybe...but it could be that I'm getting on her nerves (as EVERYONE does with her on a somewhat regular basis... I'm actually surprised it's taken her this long to finally get annoyed with me...since she can only stand her best friend for a couple weeks at a time)...that may also not be the case. I'm really not sure.

And I asked her if she wanted to hang out tomorrow; and she agreed...but she also said that she might have to do something with another of her friends. So in the same spirit as the whole thing with the other guy; I take her warning as a sign that she's gonna be busy tomorrow when I come knocking.

My gut isn't really saying anything about tomorrow night though...but it's certain that she's gonna pick the other guy on sunday/monday. Oh well...he's moving to england in a few weeks anyway. I just hope he doesn't tell her that he'll stay if she asks him to...I think that if she goes with him on monday, he might just say that to her...maybe. I seriously hope my gut's wrong this time though...

[ July 03, 2004, 06:59: Message edited by: Faerus Stoneslammer ]

 

@Faerus:

Yeah. The idea is you come up with her ideas, sort of Basically, maybe it's your initiative, ie you have to do it, but it's not you who decide what to do and on what terms. That sort of initiative gives you little edge and little advantage in controlling the events.

As for competing, perhaps she doesn't want that consciously, although that's where it's all going, at least to my eye. I don't like that. I've always been too arrogant to compete for attention. And I've always believed matters of feelings not to be matters of simple selection. Feelings will battle and one feelings will prevail over another, but when maths starts feelings stop. For emotions and drives calculations and selections work and work fine, but not for feelings. Or maybe I'm weird. Likely both.

@Dragonfly:

There's a difference between "taken with a pinch of salt", not "discarded altogether". I've seen people returning to other people after "no longer liking him that way" all too often to take every such declaration as granted. At least four times I've been that supposedly no longer liked this way guy myself And all too often I've seen people make quite definite declarations while in fact being visibly puzzled or even torn inside. I've also seen people backing on those the following day... and backing on backing on those after another period of time. There is a chance that she's done with that other guy and that there will be no complications, but that chance is slim. Notice that she's already shown she has some trouble with her attitude to both Faerus and that other guy.

Perhaps I'm cynical, but when people say such things, I take that as a declaration of intent, perhaps a sincere and honest one, but not as something granted.

 

Rotku - clean out your old PMs, because I can't reply to the PMs you sent me.

Oh, and random babble!