Random Babbling Post #23

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Im watching the gun's n roses behind the music

 

There's this girl that I hate, no I found out she comes shopping in MY store. Life is Grim indeed...

I hate it when people don't come to work so you must do all there work. And if they are there more then 3 hours late they don't even say Thank you!

Not so happy right now but tomorow I think things will chance wen I pick up my tickets to Spain!

 

Hooray! Wimbledon is over at last! Now we can get back to decent daytime TV

 

Can you hear that?

 

Hold off on the champagne and cheers. She's said that she wants to be with me. But that doesn't mean she'll follow through with her wish...and I don't even know if that's still her wish.

Last night I said some things that I really shouldn't've said, and which clearly made the other guy look better to her. I also said a lot of things that she liked, and which hopefully comforted her. But I don't know which things she'll think about today...if she thinks about them at all.

See, she's supposed to talk to the other guy today. She wanted to call him before he went to work (though I insisted to her that she'd be better off talking to him face-to-face) today; to talk to him about all of this. But I'm afraid he may do what he did yesterday; and avoid her. He'd better not be avoiding her. She's hurt that he might be ending their friendship; because of me. How can she forgive me if she loses one of her best friends because of me? Sure, it's not really my fault...but it's still because of me.

Plus she's afraid of going out with me, among other things, because she knows that I'm going away to school again in September; and she knows that us being apart will hurt her. Though on the 15th of this month; she's going to another province on vacation, for 10 days. Naturally, this 10 day separation scares the hell out of me. But I can't help but wonder if this might do her good...maybe the time away from me will make her realize how much or how little she really likes me. Unfortunately for her though, the other guy's moving to England not too long after she gets back from her vacation. And, believe me or not, I'm sad for her. He's one of her best friends, and they might not have time to heal the wound between them before he moves...though I suspect that they will.

She didn't really say that she'd come see me tonight; though she did imply it...and I hope she does. I need to see her. I had one of the worst days of my life today; owing to the fact that I know she's in pain. I wanna try and take that pain away...I wish I could. I wish she'd let me try.

So to sum up; I love her, she likes me. But she doesn't know if she wants to have (me as) a boyfriend. She's afraid of getting hurt, but she doesn't understand that when she's in pain; I'm in pain. If she hurts, I hurt...and I hurt bad.

@Uytuun: You're right. I don't want to give her the erroneous impression that I don't want to be with her...and God knows I definitely don't want to make her regret choosing me.
And I wish you luck in your own situation...

[ July 09, 2004, 03:35: Message edited by: Faerus Stoneslammer ]

 

@Faerus:

Repeat after me: It's not my fault. It's not my fault. I'm not guilty of anything. Better?

You're responsible for the consequences of your actions, but both the girl and the other guy are no less responsible for choices they make.

Stop telling yourself that other guy would be better for her. If you really believe that, you should give up on her and bring the two together. Guess it's not what you would like to do, is it?

Uytuun says wise words: enjoy it while you have it and don't think too much about thinks that aren't really relevant. I can only add: don't expect too much. There's a close link between the other guy placing himself out of the picture and the girl pairing with you. It's very possible that she would have chosen him if she had been given choice in the matter.

Actually, that guy has done a wise thing. If she isn't really into him, it will all die down peacefully in short time. He couldn't really keep a girl that isn't really interested. And if he could, it would only be worse for him. If she, however, is into him more seriously than a simple crush, then she will eventually come to him. Time will show.

Ironically, perhaps the guy has had similar experiences to yours with that girl. That wouldn't be so unlikely. Perhaps he didn't want to destroy a friendship and something that seemed to him to have potential for a working relationship, contrary to the largely indefinite and uncertain crush they were having.

He has done wisely. If you have, I don't know and can't tell. But there's exactly one thing you can do now, so any further divagations would be more or less pointless.

Congrats and good luck on your new way

Edit: I've just read the update. Seems the course of events only proved what I said. Get yourself nice holidays and check things when you're back. Ten days is a lot of time, sometimes.

As for the guy, you worry not, he knows what he's doing. Wonder if it'll work for him.

As for the girl, I tend to think she will be hurt either way in all current dilemmas. I'm also still prone to conclude that she has issues and that you'd better skip her.

 

Sounds pretty complicated. Take a nap. Things always look simpler after a nap . . . .

 

silly chev; *she's* the one going on holidays...I get to stay behind and work.

I shoulda made it clear that she had made the decision to go with me *before* he took himself out of the running...she was actually going to tell him that she was going with me, but he got his say in before she did.

The reason, as far as both she and I can tell, that he took himself out of the running is this:
The other day he had called her and asked her if she wanted to go out and see a movie or something. She turned him down, but she told him that it was because she didn't feel like seeing anyone at all, and that she was tired and going to bed early. Unfortunately (for him) the real reason for her not going with him was because she was hanging out with me. He saw this because he goes running every night, and that night he decided to run in front of our houses; and saw that she was outside with me, my brother and one of his friends, playing catch. Seeing that she and I were spending time together after she said she didn't want to see anyone must have clued him in that she liked me (more than him?).

I can't drop her. I can't let her go. When I'm with her...when I think about her (the last 24 hours notwithstanding), I'm happy. She makes me feel something that I've never felt before; and I love it! I love everything about her; I love *her*. The issues she may have are a consequence of her being squished between two guys that like her.

 

Wow, chocolate is poisonous to dogs but not humans . I didn't know that. You learn something new every day.....

 

wtf is the thing with the "Bratz" dolls? Some woman put $250 worth on lay-by yesterday!!

 

@Faerus: The issues reach quite deeper and they're the cause of things happening the way they have been, rather than a result.

If I were in your shoes, I would most probably have dumped her for lying. She doesn't seem to have much problem letting her imagination lose, which is not necessarily a good thing, as it were.

In fact, once upon a time I broke up shortly after a girl said she wouldn't fulfil some promise of most secondary concern. Never regretted that.

 

Wow, hey! That is exactly my philosophy on problem solving too. I think it has something to do with clearing out all the garbage floating around in ones brain that keeps one from thinking strait.

 

Wahey Dragonfly, we should set ourselves as self-help gurus. We could write books and run seminars on "Nap your way to Success!" and "Nap yourself Slim!". We'll be rich! Better sleep on it first.....

 

@chev- Lying? When has she ever lied to me?
And I really don't have the slightest clue what these issues are that you keep bringing up. The cause of things happening as they have been is that either me or this other guy have chosen a bad time to reveal our feelings for her.
Please stop telling me to drop her. It's not going to happen; I love her, I'm *in love* with her! IF she has issues, then we can deal with them together...just like she's trying to help me deal with mine.

Anyways...she chose not to speak to me tonight. I'm really not surprised; last night when we parted, my gut screamed at me that she wasn't going to come get me today. I hate being right sometimes. Tomorrow it is then. This time, *I'll* be going to see her, again. I just hope she'll be ready to talk to me again...

I hope things go well....and I hope things went well between her and the other guy today (if they talked...that damned gut of mine tells me that they did...but I couldn't even begin to guess how it went; I'm getting conflicting responses from my gut).

 

Neither can I Tal. Some people seem to be able to, but I dont know what server they are going through.

 

I've been on gamesurge for a couple of hours now, no problems, though Deathmage mentioned he'd been trying to get on for ages without any success until recently. If it's any help, I'm connected to Netfire.TX.US.GameSurge.Net.

 

I'm so happy! This is the best day I have had on the computer in...well ever!

 

Yeah I got the Tickets Next week I will be in Spain .

Well sleeping doesn't help for me when I wake up my head is full of things from dreams people I saw places I've been it's creepy I wake up and 4 hours later I'm tired again...

So napping is not the right therapy for me!