Random Relationship Babbling Thread (alias Relationship Rant Thread #2)

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I never really had any female friends when I was a teenager - I was too busy playing sports and hanging out with the guys, so I don't have any useful advice on what to do in this situation.

 

Sports??? You're weird, Harbs.

@Saber: Well, dude, my advice would be to keep a cool head and sort out your feelings for her, and try to determine if she feels the same for you. And should things not work out with her, or if she doesen't share your feelings, it doesen't necessarely has to end badly. You still can remain friends with her (I don't personally believe in that, And HARBS, I KNOW you disagree with me on that one and I DO NOT NEED to hear it one more time!!!). At any rate, the choice is yours, dude.

 

@Saber: Maybe it would be a good thing to tell her how you feel, just be careful how you tell it. The friendship might suffer if she feels that you expect too much of her; that you'd definitely want a romance with her and nothing else would suffice.

That is if you can't live with the current situation and can't seem to get over it. Having the thought of her in your mind all the time might be an unnecessary burden, even if a sweet one, so it might be a good idea to get it off your back.

Of course the problem is that as she's your best friend the situation might become too awkward for the both of you, so that your friendship might still suffer no matter how cautious you might be with your choice of words. Kind of a 'damned if you do and damned if you don't' situation..so maybe you have to decide wich is the greater loss: the actual friendship or the possible romance?

The emergence of romantic feelings with best friends or people who hold each other in some regard isn't certainly unusual, so thinking that this kind of thing happens - thinking that feelings come and go and you just have to deal with them might help.

 

I agree, Harbs must have been a very strange teenager, prefering sports and hanging out with males to Gods finest creatures!

 

Ha! My husband was a sporty guy when he was a teenager and his parents encouraged that to keep his mind focused on his studies and physical health rather than girls. When he hit his twenties he had a number of girlfriends and never had a problem finding female companions. (He's very charming.) Besides all the sports made him very athletic and spending his pent-up energy on sports instead of chasing girls taught him a lot about self disipline. Unfortunatly my oldest son who is 7 has already had his brain mushified by girls.

edit - O.K, my brain must have been real sleep deprived this morning because I was reading this thread wondering why people where talking so much about relationships in RB thread... I didn't figure it out until now - 3 hours later - when I was reviewing the RB thread and wondering where my post had gone. Need more sleep.

[ January 13, 2006, 18:33: Message edited by: Dragonfly ]

 

Well, Cúchulainn, honestly, I was kind in the same situation than Harbs was, but my hobby was marijuana, not sports.

But I *DID* had relationships with a few girls of our circle of pot-heads, so unlike Harbs I wasn't focused on testosteron alone

Now, back to the topic. Take it easy, Saber, and listen to what Ichor and I told ya. That's sound advice, buddy. But ultimately, the decision is yours.

 

@Saber: Spend some time discovering if she's the sole recipient of your feelings, yeah. Or at least the primary one. Like Ichor says, feelings that appear to be romantic aren't so unusual where there's a lot of mutual esteem and genders differ. "Trial" relationships are a very crappy idea, and morally not so clear, so you don't want to go that route. It could be a good idea to tell her you have a problem identifying your feelings for her and ask what it looks on her side of things, but you'd have to handle it in a very light way.

 

I HATE long-distance relationships!!!

My gf's been gone for only a matter of days and I want to bang my head in a wall! Gah! How the f*** will I survive not seeing her until june! ARGH!

 

Find a hobby that takes a lot of time and attention like making mods for computer games. If you can lose yourself for a while that might help. There isn't much else you can do.

Because my husband was from a different country we had to be separated for 6 months when we first got married because of immigration laws. Besides doing mountains of paperwork I just generally lived day to day and eventually the time passed. It sucked big time but after all the years that we have been married, six months is not so bad in retrospect.

 

Oh, and there's a lot of sense in what HB says. It was sports for him, books for me. Before I discovered computers. Then it was books and computers, with the focus shifting on computers (which wasn't perhaps the best idea). Teen flicks aren't good for your health.

 

I played alot of sports in high school. But in Canada if you play hockey and are decent, you will get your fair of attention from girls. And I played both hockey and football. So we had lots of girls around us.

I made friends with alot of the girls. But never attempted to date them.

 

Sports for Harbs, books for Chev, and marijuana for me. Anyone else wants to jump on the list?

I still hate long-distance.

Biding my time until I see her again... or long-distance proved to be a catastrophic failure.

 

Theater for me... and Girls can't forget the ladies can I?

 

@Benan: What is it that draws girls to those who play football or similar, especially team sports? After all, it's not their kind of fun... I don't mean team sports (volleyball is such a girly game, after all...), but footie and all that's similar to it. I wouldn't even think they enjoy watching it at all, given how they often complain about men watching football matches on the TV. Except those girls who actually do watch matches on TV and sip beer with guys, but I would think those were an exception...

@Ofelix: I'd be careful when hunting for a female in a school theatre. PM me if you want to know why.

 

Did someone ordered an angry Rakshasa?

On a different note, I still hate long-distance. But I can't do anything about so I just bide my time. Blech.

*EDIT* Why do I ALWAYS mix long-term and long-distance...?

[ January 15, 2006, 22:10: Message edited by: Disciple of The Watch ]

 

Chev, the reason is pretty simple (aside from the whole "Omg!prestige!" aspect...) Sports = excercise = buffness in guys

 

Hmm, I've missed a bit of this conversation but, to catch up, I'm not sure why so many of you think that playing sports is a strange thing. There's nothing weird about that. And Arabwel is right. Guys who play sports usually are more 'buff' (except in my case.....)

 

What do you mean by hating long-term, DotW? You don't look like a different girl for every week guy.

Thanks for explanation, Ara.

 

Hating long-term? I meant long distance. Why do I always confuse those two words?

Well, chev, I used to be such a guy, but not anymore. I still have a definitive difficulty maintining a long-term relationship, though. But I'm trying my best.

 

Thats it, I give up.

Edit: Actually, Chev, can you tell me sme nice things to say to a girl in Polish?

I tried "Ja jestem bardzo bogaty" but it didn't work.

[ January 15, 2006, 22:29: Message edited by: Daie d'Malkin ]