Random Relationship Babbling Thread (alias Relationship Rant Thread #2)

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I admit to haveing a few one night stands, and other short relationships based soley on sex. But exclusive dateing isn't my thing.

 

I guess this will be a once-off thing for me. I don't think I want to date multiple girls at the same time, it was actually very very difficult. My girlfriend knew I was dating other girls when I saw her for the second time and she understood because I was looking for somebody I plan on having a long term relationship with.

She feels very happy about it actually, sort of proud that I picked her over girls... somehow I think I'm also a prize worth having since she was fine with me dating others at the time. Now though she'd have my guts for garters if I dared see somebody else but that's obviously not going to happen.

I admit what I did isn't exaclty the most noble thing to do but it doesn't make me a bad person, does it?

 

Not to blur the difference between good and bad things but there's nothing bad enough to make you a bad person if you don't want to be one. Oh dear, I sound like a priest or grannie now.

 

Well I'd rather be the one letting girls down than be the one being let down by girls. Let's just say it's the product of history as a female emotional plaything.

I'd still like to hear what girls think of my actions.

 

DotW:
Wow, I feel a little confused now. She was your ex, but not your wife hopefully? Well was she or wasn't she? There's not much confusion there. And the whole 'lovers but divorced' thing really threw me for a loop. You can't stand to live with each other, but you can still have sex? Or did I totally screw that up?
Ab (I like that short name, I think I'll keep it ):
I'd really side with Chev. I understand the 'dating around' idea, but I'd rather get to know the girl ahead of time and not even worry about getting dumped.

 

DoTW: Aw man...I was in a hurry the last time I was in here...sorry I didn't notice then about that car accident.

So here's me, toasting to the memory of long lost loved ones. Cheers.

 

Well, I think the actions an sich are quite problematic, but it doesn't make you a bad person, as chev said. To a girl, sex is an indication of exclusiveness and a serious relationship. The intensity of this idea varies from culture to culture, but it is always there in one or other form, I think. Especially if you don't make it absolutely clear you can't/won't guarantee anything. So I understand their reactions.

Well, everyone makes mistakes, the bad part comes when you don't learn from them.

 

No, she wasn't my wife. Hell, I am 22, I am barely starting out in life, it's far too early to think about settling down.

After what happened with my ex, I am glad we didn't became engaged. I will speak no more of this, it still pisses me off when I think about it.

 

So where did the 'hopefully' come in? Or did you mean thankfully? That would make a lot more sense.
Anyway.
Hey, how about Valentine's day (and birtday's, actually, since mine is the day after). My gf wanted me to tell her exactly what gifts I wanted from her for the combined celebration. Is it just me or does that take all the fun out of it. Ok, I'll list five or six things that everyone can think about and who gets me what and what else I get can be a surprise, but she wanted me to specifically show her (we were at the mall at the time) what gifts I wanted her to get me. Is this a girl thing? Is this a 'some people' thing? Is this just her? A woman's perspective would be helpful.

 

Err, yeah, thankfully would be the word. I sometimes get those two mixed up. Keep in mind that being french-canadian, english is not my native language, so I sometimes mix up words.

At any rate, Valentine's day will be quite quiet for me this year. I even had a present bought for my ex, but seems I'll keep it and stash it to give to another woman.

 

@NOG: Women divide into two subspecies: those who love everything planned and can't bear any deviation from plans, and those who hate [Edit: It's hate, not have. Thanks, Uytuun. ] routine and anything which resembles a developing habit.

That, and perhaps that's how Christmas and/or birthday gifts were done in her family.

[ February 10, 2006, 13:23: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Tell her you want one of several things, at least that way you can be surprised.

 

Her family doesn't do it that way, and she seems to randomly mutate from one to the other, but always in the extreme. She hates middle ground. She can't even understand the concept of "I don't have any feelings either way". For her it's either hate or love, binary mode, no spectrum. Weird.

 

A b

 

Well if you're after a long term relationship, NOG you need to establish your feelings on the matter. Sit her down and get her to listen to you, a relationship isn't fun if you are always having to play by the other person's rules.

 

Ditto. And the more irrational the rules are, the bigger your problem. But maybe you could melt her a bit and tell her to surprise you?

 

Talk to her. She can't change it if she doesn't know you have a problem with it.

 

Well, it isn't so much a problem as it is a confusion at this point, and it only really started recently. She had no trouble at Christmas and I didn't even know what I wanted. I asked her about it and she just said she wanted guidelines, but that wasn't what she was asking for at the time.

 

Well, it's been a while no? Valentines Day has come and gone, we've all got a little older, a little wiser, and in my case, a little more angry.

It is official, there is no point to any of this rubbish. You try so hard (and get so far, but in the end it doesn't really matter etc.) but there is always someone else, isn't there? Someone a bit cooler, a bit more talented, funny, perfect. That person who just shines a little brighter than you, the guy who leaves his girlfriend to go out with the person you like best. I'm sure you've all had this experiance, well, this is my first, and I'm quite justifiably angry. I saw it coming, and like the irresistible coming of the first day of school, it arrives, and you hate it.

Funny how I manage to wax lyrical when I'm angry, but can't even get a love scene down on paper properly. I'm doing pretty well, I haven't sworn yet.

So, to bring the Relationship (rant) thread back to the public eye, here is my own particular rant, to the guy who is just a bit more popular. You weren't there when she cried, you weren't there when she was rejected, and if you do any of these things, you will be in a world of hurt.

As for me, I've got more important things to do. I've wasted too much time on this courting ****. From now on, I come first, my needs, my work, not trying to get with some person I'm never going to see again in four months.

Okay, rant over. Daie out.

 

Two weeks since the last relationship rant before Daie got his gripe off his chest. Sounds like Daie's life just got a little bit less complicated. That's one way of looking at it.