Random Relationship Babbling Thread (alias Relationship Rant Thread #2)

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Well, this link has been posted before, but its in the old thread, so i think it needs another mention to help everyone feel a little bit better about themselves.

http://www.stwing.upenn.edu/~jenf/writing/rant04.html

 

Awww bad for you Daie ...

Anyway I hope tomorow's rendez-vous with this girl go smoothely. I'll keep you informed!

 

Look at it this way, Daie: She wasn't really so great as you had thought. It's unlikely that a single opportunity might have corrupted her. The sooner you get to know she's not quite stable, the better for you. Better to be dumped after a while of dating than after several months of a relationship.

And it looks like that girl didn't really need a guy per se but was submitting to peer pressure and trying to get a good catch so her own rating as a girl could go higher. She needs to grow up a bit before anything serious.

Hehe, good look, Ofelix. Don't let her push you around.

 

Hehe, not funny. I heard this one last year. That one screws you up. Good luck Ofelix, hope you get the luck I seem to be missing.

Ah well, life sucks, nothing new there.

Anyway, thanks for that link, it made me feel better. Just to improve my mood though, I managed to break the keypad of my phone too.

I just spent half an hour chatting to one of my best mates, and feel better. Still angry as hell, and willing to break things, but now I'll punch a wall rather than a new boyfriend.

I'm going to listen to Linkin Park. The lyrics seem to make sense today, for some reason.


EDIT: To Chev, who understands Polish girls better than me, it seems.

The thing I don't understand is the nicer, hotter, even beautiful girls who are single around here, while this girl is hunted, and I used the verb intentionally, when she is fun, certainly, and cute, but nothing to write home about, if I am brutally honest.

Meh, have anotehr link while we're on the subject of nice guys: http://www.outpostnine.com/editorials/niceguy.html

Good ol'Az always makes me feel better. Wait, did I say better or bitter?

 

There is actually some sense in it. People usually start looking for serious friendships before they are ready for serious relationships. So if a girl has a stable base of male friends but her boyfriends tend to last a month or free on average, then it's reasonable. from a certain perspective, for her to be unwilling to take the risk. Especially if she's actually looking for short-term relationships which some girls are.

Note that some friendships are really precious and they do work and matter a lot in your life while you can't be sure if the relationship will work. But if you've gone so far as to consider a relationship, it's most likely too late anyway, and there will most likely always be some kind of strange spark.

Don't ever punch new boyfriends. In retrospect, you actually owe them a favour for freeing you from bad relationships.

 

Call me old fashioned, but I don't like realtionships to shifft so fast. I mean, this new boyfriend switched relationships in less than a week. That disgusts me.

And Chev, I won't punch him cos he's a full foot taller than me, which makes him 14 inches taller than her.

 

sometimes you've got to just sit back and let them come to you. When I was younger I was constantly chasing girls, going trading my broken heart for the next broken heart. As I've "aged" I've come to just sit back and let them come to me, makes it alot harder to get your heart broken (broken a few hearts this way myself, but that stems more from my inability to control my emotional vampirism). There's really something quite "statisfying" with having girl/woman do all the work to get things going, tends to make her less willing to quit the relationship as well (it's NOT healthy though).

 

Yes, Daie, I believe short term relationships are immoral as is any relationship intended from the beginning to end at some point. Looks like that guy was into the whole model upgrading, I guess.

 

@ Daie

I know something even worse, its when you get to close to a girl and she says "i think of you as an older brother i never had." that REALLY F*CKS YOU UP!!!

 

Yeah. Especially because it would be a great thing to hear in normal circumstances. Or rather if it were true. But it isn't true in most cases, even if sometimes it may.

 

Bahhrg The rendez-vous didn't happened, she said she was too tired to ill to go Frankly she looked like she could barely stand in her feet. Now I've a mix of disapointment and concern. Also I talked to her today and seriously she's doing too much. Not only she barely has any time left for her she declared she must remain active at all time if not, she'll do another depression, she also said it was better to go crazy with her crazy schedule rather than having a depression. Now I'm doubely concerned and I don't know it just gave me a shock to hear that.

 

Caveat emptor. Cave, Ofelix, cave!

1. A cramped schedule means little time for you. Parties, dinners, cinema, pizzeria trips... all those can be moved. But extracurricular activities can't.

2. A person with a hectic style is most likely hectic all the time, meaning she's likely going to be rushed when she's with you, too.

3. Work overload is good for downs and lows but mostly of the romantic kind. Generally, losing someone, in one sense or another. But not genuine depression. Biting more than you can chew will never get you rid of depression. She's only going to get herself into a bigger one.

4. People who can't handle themselves can't handle a relationship. No chance or next to none.

5. Depression and problems with self change people. She may be a different person when it's over. She may also like a different type of guy in the end.

6. Pacta sunt servanda. Okay, let us not talk like lawyers. But arrangements are meant to be kept. Okay, no one wants her to exhaust herself further or roam the romantic alley when she's ill. But arrangement is still arrangement and she knew she had the meeting with you later today.

Let's just not exaggerate the incident and perhaps she needs a strong male arm in her life. Try to be protective and caring instead of grumpy and care for her as a friend. Don't promise yourself too much relationship-wise because she's not quite ready for it and, as I said, there's the risk that she might change as a person or that she might change her taste in guys when it's over.

 

Yes, that must be it.

 

Chev, Chev... you know I don't speak Latin

I guess you're right anyway we'll see what happens next now won't we? Ahem Contraria contrariis curantur

[ March 01, 2006, 03:35: Message edited by: Ofelix ]

 

OKay, Daie update. I spent about two hours today talking to this girl, and sorted everything out. Mostly. Turns out, she didn't know that I still liked her, and was quite shocked to find out. Anyway, she got really upset about doing this to me, but it was alright, we talked, we hugged, I told her stupid jokes, we laughed etc.

Now I'm just worried about the guy's ex girlfriend, another friend of mine. I'm gonna have to speak to her tomorrow, and she how she is holding up.

 

I was recently beginning to believe that I'd missed out on something important by never having been in, or made any effort to look for a relationship, but I think stumbling upon this thread has cured me. How anything could be worth so much drama is beyond my feeble comprehension. Thanks, thread!

 

@Prine

The drama depends on a) yourself, b)the object of your affection and c)the circumstances you find youself in. It's not always this complicated. That's why not all SPers post here. This is the thread for those that have complications.

That said, I'm a believer in the "better to have loved and lost then never to have loved at all" shtick. It's something you've got to do for yourself.

 

I'm still as Robert Plant puts it, "Trying to find a woman who's never, never, never been born". What I'd do just be able to feel for someone. I'm just dying for an overwhelming emotion, but those few highly disfunctional relationships I've been in (and sadly they make up a good deal of my experience in relationships), I can't seem to care about the girl even as tries to hurt me while she pulls out of the relationship (the whole revenge phenomena). I've even actively tried seeking out relationships over the course of the last half year or so, but it always ends up seeming when I think I find someone I care about, nope, I really don't care about them and I simply shut down the relationship.

God, why can't finding a girl who makes me like my heart isn't made of ice so impossible to find? Even when I see my friends in dysfunction relationships I find myself asking why can't that me? I just want that emotion, someone even just fight with, to know that we both actually care.

Things where so much easier, even just a year ago, life's suprizingly easy when your heart is no warmer then ice. Maybe karma for a couple of girls I was as warm to as an ice age.

Still waiting for "my" woman who's never lived and never will, save as a character in stories I've written.

... and then sadly, I won't care about relationships in a few days from now... then I will again and have to start from scratch, never being able to make progress...

 

Hmm, so I'm going to the city with 'the girl' tomorrow. SHould be suitably weird, espcially as she's meeting her boyfriend while we're out. That'll be my cue to be offski, I think.

 

Psh, I've never bought in to that. It only makes sense from the third person. If you don't know what you're missing then there's nothing to miss.