Random Relationship Babbling Thread (alias Relationship Rant Thread #2)

Remove all ads!

There are nice girls as well. And being nice pays off eventually, guys. So don't give up.

 

Why does everyone say that nice guys finish last? That’s just ridiculous. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. I and all my friends are what I would consider to be ‘nice guys’ and we’re all happily married. Nice rules!

 

Well there is some truth to it, but like "To err is human", the meaning has been somewhat changed by leaving off the last half.

IOW, like Uytuun said, it'll take a while but be worth it in the end.

 

@Saber:

Not really. In terms of reproduction they tend to be rather simple. It's all pheromones and hormones. Don't get me wrong: I like being in love, basically. But this is only a mechanism for reproduction.


@Uytuun:

Yeah, well. But you have to wait until they go up to their 30th year. That's when nice starts to pay off.
More or less.


@chev:

It's definitly a trigger. (Careful: Gerenalizations ahead!)
Women tend to seek men with strong genes when they are young, i.e. those who look strong, take risks, etc. You know the type: V-shaped, brainless studs. 'Caring' is not the top priority. This comes later. Oh, women (like men) tend to make compromises about the looks to suit their own. But the function of these men is ever the same: Transmission of genes to produce healthy children.
So, in the teens and early 20ies, these guys tend to get a lot 'attention'. But there is a downside: They are not suited for the upbringing of the children they produce. (Well, not a downside for all of them.)

That's when 'caring' of 'being nice' comes into play. Looks on men tend to get less important. The ability to raise children (which means stable income, good behaviour towards wife and kids, etc.) gets more important. Up to the age of 30 and later, women look for a 'provider' with whom they can lead a stable relationship.

Naturally, there is a huge grey zone. Some women look for providers very early. Some never.

The cause of this phenomenon? The younger a women is, the more succesfull is a pregnancy. And the more offspring she can produce.

Studies proved that even 'older' women look for 'hunks' during their fertile days, but for 'babyfaces' the rest of the time.


This is actually my own thesis. I put it together from various articles I read and my own personal experience. It has no guarantee of being right.

Maybe I just hope that I get to know some woman who likes my incredible nice ways. But I seem not to be old enough yet.

 

@Fabius Maximus

Then I'm just ahead of my age. And if I can see how great my nice guy is, I'm sure other girls can see through the mindless studs and can recognise the superiority of the nice guy as well.

But I agree that women (and men) tend to become more reasonable in matters such as these as they grow older.

 

I got my first flower from a guy today (that I'm not related to) and it was from the Lollipop man who helps you cross the road. It's so sad.

 

So, basically, if I rely on what I've read here, I was correct in being a carnal conquests collector, and I should to so until I turn 30?

Nice woman are indeed hard to find. But, they exist. The real challenge is finding them...

 

Recently my girlfriend's father started to call me "son" . I sence a conspiracy here

 

Ahh, Undertaker. Black Metal Ist Krieg!

Yup, definitively a conspiracy here. Well, maybe more of a subconscious message.

 

\m/(><)\m/ hello my metal friend
Back on topic, yes it must be a conspiracy. I must be careful what I do and what I say. Although my potential in-law is a very nice guy, I can have a good chat with him+some beer of course.

 

Well, if he's a good guy and likes you, then you're lucky, because in-laws have always despised me

I agree you must watch your back... unless you *want* and *feel ready* for some mini-headbangers... think carefully, my dark friend, and watch your back...

 

I'll be very carefull. It's to early for having my own little instruments of terror causing havoc, ehm, I mean kids. Although it would be nice to give them Cannibal Corpse T-shirts and see people's faces

 

Burzum is a good lullaby for a kid that won't sleep. Trust me.

And Chev, are you dead, or what?

 

I think that some funeral doom would be better

 

Nah, Burzum. But let's stick to the topic (I believe it is ranting) before a mod warns us.

 

Alrighty, another issue: I think I want to break up with my girlfriend, mainly because I feel no passion for our relationship anymore. I don't see her outside of school enough (as in, never), and I'm not as attracted to her anymore. However, there could be problems: she is in my core group of friends. How am I supposed to break up with her without screwing up my friendship with others? And how can I make it so we are still friends, or at least civil to each other afterwards?


Anyways, any help would be most appreciated.

 

Well... nearly all my ex-gfs hate me (I admit I am somewhat of a ****ing bastard...), so I am not really in the position to possibly help you in how to keep her as a friend... however, honesty often wins the day. Maybe Chev can help you more on that, if he still reads the damn thread, that is.

But as for your fading passion... does the other girl you mention has anything do to with it? It might just be the old 'grass is greener' syndrome. Take time to sort out your feelings, sit down with your gf, and try to work things out (without mentioning the other girl, goes without saying). Things might improve, and you'll get to spend more time with your gf (which may rekindle your passion)... or it may mark the end of the relationship. Whatever the outcome, I suggest at least talking things through with your gf before pondering on your next move.

Just my 0.02¢.

 

Well, I edited the part about the other girl out because I don't have a chance, and it doesn't really matter (I doubt I will see her often). But thank you, so far.

 

Hey, 22 years on this blasted world taught me some lessons (many on how to get a woman to hate you... but that's another story)... just sharin' the wisdom.

Well then, delete the part about the other girl... but the part of talking things with your gf still holds true. It can solve much, trust me.

 

And I appreciate your wisdom greatly!


And I did delete the other part... perhaps it hasn't registered in your computer yet?