Relationship Rant Thread #4

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I don't believe breaking up is the solution. Sometimes sure, you have no other way. But it's not about matching up, it's about building something. The more you have, the richer it gets and it's not the same as with the first person off the pool. Can't really just start over and over.

Agreed.

Yep.

They are, but sometimes the difference is there. Sometimes life isn't as ugly as we make it. Most people actually don't mean any evil and aren't that screwed up. They just face some problems.

Yep. Avoid that if you can.

Sometimes it works.

 

Well I today I took the suportive way and it seems to work, we had a great time and I think we both understood each other's feeling. She understood my uneasyness (is that even a word?) towards her attitude and she told me she understand and she wants to work her self-mental problem (or whatever it is). She also told me some issue she had and I agree to work them. Like smoking, my fear of the unknown and other things. AHhh calm and adult talking is there something it can't solve

Caradhras: Merci! L'amour toujours l'amour non? Alors elles sont comment les filles à Lyon?

 

Elles sont très sympathiques, très amicales. Ma nouvelle devise c'est "single and ready to mingle."

 

Mea Culpa

 

Help! Help! I'm being repressed!



But more seriously, good to hear things are settling down, Flix. Give it time, and you have my best wishes for a good outcome.

 

Biiig argument with the missus this evening. Jeez, I've just come home to chill out and get away from things for a bit. What a crazy weekend. I've seen a side of our lass tonight that I didn't know she had. She can be a self-centred cow when she wants to be, everything must revolve around her sometimes... I can't see this relationship lasting much longer. She's a nice enough lass, she's a nice girl, but I'm not sure we're compatible. I don't really feel ready for a relationship anyway. I want to go out and get laid with different girls and do the lad thing for a bit... I can't do that with a girl in tow. We'll see!

 

Maybe it was a bad day, Barmy? Perhaps the girl just needed some affection. I know I'm bad at sensing that.

 

Barmy, sounds like you've just described every woman on the planet. Tell her straight you don't like what she's doing and she has the option to either shape up or ship out. You win either way

 

I'm am such a prick lately. In the argument, I had a go at her for being what I'd call 'flirty' with this lad from work on Friday night. I proper laid into her about that. If she knew that I nearly shagged another lass that night myself... what a hypocritical bastard! She's probably better off without me anyway right now, I'm not really feeling myself. She deserves better. I'm feeling really confident lately and all I want to do is go out and test my boundaries. I want to get drunk all the time and see what girls I can get, as I've never really had the confidence to do that before. It wouldn't be good to treat this girl that way. I really like her, but I'm not ready for that, I want to do my own thing for a bit now I have the confidence and friendbase to do it... is that incredibly selfish?

 

It is, but how incredibly I can't tell you. Noticeably, for sure, I'd say. Maybe don't get involved with any girls but just go on doing your job and hobby, hanging out with friends, girls even perhaps, but just leaving that part of life aside for a moment? Will do you the best and spare some girls too.

Hypocrisy in relationships is so bad. Like with me. I have a knack for getting hurt, while a little bit more of being a man and I'd notice that I'm already getting far more than I deserve and the pathetic hurts are something to be forgiven and forgotten right away without thinking (and preferably not noticed at all). I could dwell on one hurt of mine without noticing how I'm hurting a person who's giving me all the love she can. That's just so sad.

 

Barmy, what happened mate? Everything was going so well! You sound like you're bored with her already Trust me, don't let something good go to play the field, sometimes you suddenly realise it's getting a bit late and all the good ones are gone.

But on the up side, it's cool that you're getting a bit of confidence in yourself

 

My mates think it's just something I need to get out of my system... shag about a bit before I settle down. They reckon I should do, or any relationship is doomed to fail eventually when I can't resist temptation.. they're probably right. I'm not being funny but I'm a good looking lad with a personality girls tend to like (away from these boards I hasten to add). What's always held me back is not having the confidence or the balls to do anything. Confidence makes such a big difference. I've already got 3 or 4 girls who I could take my pick of if I wanted to be honest. I'm not being a big-headed idiot, it's just true. I've not dabbled yet, I only did the other night because I was pissed as an Irish fart. It probably is something I just need to get out of my system, before I meet a nice little lass and settle... I don't like to hurt anyone though, I know how it feels . I'm a bit messed up at mo.

 

"..."

Well don't say I didn't warn you

 

Skip all that and just find that nice girl now. Why mess about with a load of slappers when you could have true love instead? All this 'get it out of your system' stuff is a bit of misnomer, in my opinion, because if you're tempted by every woman you see now, you're always going to be tempted.

I also don't think that getting easy girls to sleep with you should be something that gives you loads of confidence in your skills with women. It's miles harder to make a long term relationship work, so doing that should be what makes you proud. That's when you'll know you're THE MAN.

 

Whatever I wanted to say and a bit more, Harbs said. So just so you know.

 

Wow, I actually *agree* with Harbs here. Words of wisdom here from the raven, which I totally back.

But be that as it may, and don't take offense, but Barmy, you don't strike me as the kind of guy who would like to settle down.

Keep in mind that if you're into something now and can't resist temptation, than maybe this isn't a life for you - and those famous words from Pantera - You can't be something you're not.

 

That's just an excuse Barmy. If you want to indulge in senseless "shagging" you don't need to justify yourself.

Whatever you decide you should break up with your girl. Since you acknowledge that you would both be better off if you did break up and you seem more than willing to do so.

Make your own mistakes but don't make them too big. IMHO it's way better to find out for yourself if Harbourboy is right or not.

 

I've found a nice girl, she is a nice girl she's lovely she really is. Which is why I'd hate to hurt her. I just see these other girls showing interest in me (one of them is very, very fine... ) and I wonder what it would be like to get with them. I've never done that before, ever, most guys I know have and never regretted it, then found a nice girl and settled down and stayed loyal. 'Greener grass' and all that I guess. Maybe I need to split and get with a few other girls just to see what it's like to be with different girls, so I'm not always wondering 'Hm.. I wonder what it would be like to take her to bed, she looks a bit dirty..' etc. etc. Once I've been there, done that, I might not be interested again.. you know?

No offence taken. I'd like to eventually, I'd like to settle with a nice girl and have little Barmy's. Just not really now.. I feel like I want to do my own thing at the minute.

I'm not really sure how to take that, but I'd feel I do need to justify that kind of thing. I don't think I'm a bad person and I don't want to hurt anyone. I feel right guilty about kissing that girl the other night, even though I stopped it going further. I just hope I don't go out clubbing and do it again, that's how I'm pretty messed up at mo. A lot of my mates are really good guys, and they go out and get a different girl each weekend. Some of them have long term relationships too, which is a bit bad.

You're maybe right. It just goes back to what Urith said, it's hard to find nice girls so I'd rather not lose her. We'll stay mates if we break up for sure, because we get on really well. I'd just hate to split up, then stay mates and think "Damn, I wish I didn't mess that up, she was great". I just don't think I really deserve her right now. It's a bit of a mess really.