Relationship Rant Thread #4

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I guess stuck in the friendzone puts it well.

As for that elusive lady: She was somewhat older than I. Not that much. An undead cat iirc - and me, an undead rabbit, what a couple.

*snip*

[ March 04, 2007, 18:20: Message edited by: Ragusa ]

 

Disagree. Physical appearance isn't everything. I prefer a plain-looking gal with personality that clicks with my own rather than a beautiful girl who's personality doesen't click with mine. Call me old-school if you want, but looks are secondary to personality to my eyes.

As for paying for dates and stuff like that... I don't like being expected to pay and I don't expect a date to pay either - I prefer to play fair and equal, so it's 50-50. On a special occasion I'll assume the full bill, but that's not a habit.

 

Well, looks like I'm not smiling anymore. Haven;t been out for a while, haven;t seen either of them. Don't know how things stand anymore.

Still, going out for a big night on Friday, so I'll see how that goes.

 

Dating is for interesting ladies.

Plain is a misleading term. I for my part find a certain imperfection, which is difficult to define (as in 'I know it when I see it'), very attractive. It's about character. Looks betray, you might be surprised. Better look again. I'd prefer a witty 'plain' girl over a dumb beauty any time. Even if you don't match, odds are that you have at least a pleasant evening.

In my experience dates get stale pretty quick when you got nothing to talk about. And after two hours of terminal boredom, you, ever the gentleman, pay the bill ... which will surely shock you out of your stupor.

 

Beautiful or not... what about good, kind, big-hearted, warm, intelligent, smart, cuddly, errrr?

Yep, I don't like that. I wouldn't prevent them because it's the girl's decision, but it's lame.

I just believe in coming up if you're interested and not coming up if you aren't.

 

...Guess what?

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Yup.

 

Bah. This likely will end in an emotional trainwreck (considering your and my legendary luck with woman), but nontheless, if it can work out, good on ya.

 

Ugh, I'm having trouble.

There's this good friend of mine, that I'm kind of seeing, but we're not officially together. And I kinda like her, but then there's the fact that I've been labelled a man wh-re. Sigh. And its not that I'm totally resenting that remark, but like, .. ugh.

See, I want to .. well, I'm being pressured into asking Maddie out. (the one above) And I do like her. But I think I'm too much of a flirt. And since we're good friends, if I say that I don't really think we should go out, then it'll be awkward.

I think I am just gonna go for it, and go out with her. Warn her that my man wh-re reputation is sometimes true.

 

Ok, major problem time.

I have a best friend, whom i went through alot of hassle with 7 months ago because a "friend" let slip i had strong feelings for her. Luckily all that got sorted out. But tonight me, her and another 2 friends had to go to a gay club, cos it was near my flat and we didnt have time to get to another club. So the other 2 friends were fine as they were a couple, but my best friend started acting like my girl friend, which unfortunately rekindled the feelings from 7 months ago, and i need a way of repressing them, before i go insane.

 

@Elwithral: If that reputation is bothering you, it's time to do something about it. You know the best way to change a reputation, right?

 

Occupy your mind somewhere else. Focus on doing something you like, get your mind off woman and you should have an easier time.

There is miracle way of repressing feelings - it takes time, and it's often difficult.

As for me, I involuntarily ended up as Peeping Tom when I got back home from work and stumbled on my housemate when she got out of the shower, plainly walking around the place in her birthday suit (all blinds were closed, of course - she's no exhibitionist)

There are three disturbing things in this whole story: 1 - She didn't ran for cover and in fact didn't seemed to mind me seeing her in her birthday suit 2 - That sight actually gave me one hell of an adrenaline rush along with some pretty dirty stuff in my mind 3 - A part of me wonders if it was just a coincidence or intentional.

Fortunately, I'm a guy with moral principles, so nothing happened.

 

A total lack of morals can be good sometimes.

Anyway being attracted to a girl who considers you to be a friend is not the end of the world. People change and someone who may have spurned you before might have a change of heart later.

I'm currently involved with a girl who (when I met her) only considered me as a friend whereas I wanted more. I didn't give up and eventually she confessed that she was attracted to me.

I'm not saying it doesn't require painstaking efforts, a lot of time and many hours spent struggling with your desires so that you don't alienate her. But I do believe that nothing can be taken for granted.

 

hehe I found this line pretty funny

 

I can't seem to shake my reputation. It's not that people say it to hurt me, like, "Oh, don't talk to him, he's a man wh-re." It's just kind of.. hmm.. They say it jokingly, but at the same time, they say it's true.

See, in school, I am labelled gay by a lot of other guys, mostly 'cause I hang out with a lot of girls. It doesn't happen as much anymore, but by a few it still does. Anyway, I think that as the girls I talk to and stuff are maturing, they are uncovering feelings for me? And sometimes, the feelings are returned.

 

No smiles for Daie anymore. Oh well.

 

Actually, she wants to be more than friends with me. We also share an, err, history together.

She feels for me, and I return her feelings, to a certain degree at least. This is where things get sticky - it's possible that what I feel might just blossom, given enough time and that something great could come out of this, or it's quite possible I would just be wasting my time (and also hers) and also hurting her, and let's just say that would be pretty bad. I have plenty of haters and don't need anymore, thanks a lot.

So, yeah, I'm in an awkward position alright.

 

@DoTW: Doubt it was intentional that she happened to be walking around naked, but it was probably somewhat intentional that she didn't run for cover. There are three possible explanations:

1. She wanted you to take a look.
2. She genuinely wasn't bothered (because it was you, because it was a friend, or in general).
3. She thought if you had seen her already, covering up wouldn't erase it anyway.

Between the three, if she isn't a genuine prude or a genuine strumpet, her mood might have mattered a big deal.

Agreed. A relationship shouldn't, however, start with seeing a girl naked. As in, she may be pretty all right and it might be appealing that she didn't throw a pan at you or something, but there's a lot of a sexual vibe here and that's not good for discerning.

@Caradhras:

Yes, yes, that happens.

@Elwithral:

No, I meant the best way to change a reputation was to stop acting like it. You obviously dislike something in your behaviour, so maybe this is a good opportunity to change it?

Repeat after me: "They can shove it."

They can shove it.

 

@Elwithral, what are you, my clone? I have exactly the same problem.

Bah, that's nothing, I'm officially one of the girls .

 

Yeahhaa. But er, uh. I don't know what I'm acting like. Well, I guess .. well there was this one time where I made out with a girl. That was my friend. And everyone was shocked. Then it happened again. And just, it happens when a girl likes me! Meh, but I haven't for a while so.. *shrugs*

[EDIT] @ Trellheim - Wow, we're like the same age too! [/EDIT]

 

@DoTW: Thanks for the reality check bro, but it's too late now. She can break my heart any time. Emotional train wreck, here I come

You and your roomie? I'm surprised that something hasn't came out of it already, way before you saw her in her B-day outfit. Not because you have a girl as a roomie, but because you seem to get along so well. I'm sure you two have your reasons though, but being close to her as it is, as a friend already sure isn't a bad start. But by the powers of tautology: if it's immoral, it's immoral.

In any case, this woman I'm so head over heels now...*dramatic cue*...is my sisters best friend!

For my part it all started about a year ago when I was back single again, I guess it might have been my sis' birthday party when I noticed how attractive her friend was. I had seen her before and then I thought that she was really nice and all, but thought nothing much about it since I was dating my ex then. Now that I was single again I started to fancy her, but didn't want anything to come out of it, because of my concern that it might get too complicated. Mainly because we don't live in the same town. That was last spring.

A year passes, I lived in the same apartment with my sis until august, and whenever my sis would go out with her friends I'd ask her if her best friend would be there as well. We even had a conversation that spring if my sis would be ok if I started dating her friend. Of course she said that it'd be a little akward, and even that she might feel that I'd be stealing her friend away from her, but besides that it wouldn't be for her to deny a relationship with her friend.

Now get this. Everytime I was around, and my sis' had some occasion, parties or such, her best friend had asked her if I would be attending the occasion as well! And so everytime there was an occasion or another my sis would ask me if I'd be going, and I started to wonder if there was a catch to it, since my sis had let it be known that her friend liked me...

Come last weekend, and the same old wondering from both of our parts if the other one'd be there as well. This time I thought what the heck, I'll go to this silly leftist election party thing, to listen to the bands even if otherwise I'd be bored out of my skull. So I went. My sis left out early. And since we we're going the same way after the party, I walked her home. And so she told me that she thought that my sis was trying to protect me from her, since my sis is a real nice and protective kind of person. I let it sink in. We walked on, talked a little bit, and then I thought I really had to do something about it, so I kissed her, and she kissed me back.

Then I walked her home. Went home with her. But besides a lot of kissing, that was it. Because we were both drunk, we decided not to make this a drunken mistake. So she walked me back to my sis' place where I was crashing and later that night I realized I had forgotten my glasses to her place.

Next day I went to pick up my glasses...spent the evening at her place, hours of kissing and rolling on the bed, clothes on mind you and ahw goodness I'm so in love with her...being in love like this is like being one with Tao, you just know it - through and through, balls to bones. The fact that we didn't have sex, even though I wanted to rip her clothes off...it is so fitting. She said she didn't want to screw things up with me by making this just a one night stand which we both would regret. And to me that's just the way it should be no matter how madly I desire her.

This is crazy, we're both out of our minds. My sister's gong to get a fit when we decide to tell her. Hope that's soon, since keeping this a secret from my sis isn't the easiest thing for me to do. But being with her, and being in love with her feels so wonderful; if loving her is wrong, I don't want to be right.

edit: a lot more to how things went, and sorry 'bout the length...

[ March 12, 2007, 13:36: Message edited by: Iku-Turso ]