Relationship Rant Thread #4

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Concentrate on studies. That's your future. And your future family's future.

 

I agree with Taza... I am still not over my ex, but when she got a new boyfriend, it made things worse exponentially. If you really do love her and you know nothing will ever come of it again, try to lose contact with her so she can't continue to hurt you. That was (is ) my mistake - not getting away as quickly as possible.

 

Well, seeing the next boyfriend has always worked as a cure for me...

 

At least now you have seen we were right in recommending that - so I doubt you'll make the same mistake another time.

 

Well, for me talking to her new boyfriend was therapeutic. In the sense of "hilarious". Still makes me giggle.

But overall trying to stay friends with your ex is a pointless exercise. Even trying resembles hitting one's head against a stone wall repeatedly hoping it'll go numb. It may work, but it's too damn painful to be worth it.

Just cut all contact, and concentrate on yourself. Don't jump into a new relationship before it stops hurting, either.

If you want to be friends, it'll be a lot less painful in six months or so.

 

I guess you're right taza, still she goes to the same college in the same program as I do, however she's in first year and I'm in second, so we don't have any class together, and that's a relief.

 

Alright, quick update...

I had a discussion with my housemate last weekend regarding the ahh, dilemma, I found myself into.

I explained to her how I felt, what I thought, basically I was honest with her, and she understood and respected my decision.

That's one less thing to worry about, but a part of me can't help but to wonder if this will be enough for her to completly get over me. Time will tell, I suppose. *shrugs*

 

The question is, are you over her?

 

Not totally, but it's just a matter of time. Don't worry about me, I learned to differentiate love from a simple crush - she was a crush.

 

Well, I've received an email from my now ex-girlfriend and I understand her motive a little more. I've send her a message back, saying my point of view in this story. I'd like to have external opinion but alas both her message and mine aren't in english.

Despite the fact that it hurt, I feel slightly better now that we've told each other the bottom of our heart. I only regret that it has to be my written message... Damn our age of technology!

 

Maybe I can help with that, if so you wish.

 

So can I, I guess.

 

@Ofelix: If you need another opinion PM me.

I couldn't agree more. I'm trying to have a discussion with... well, the girl I used to go out with and she hasn't got the guts to see me. It's so easier to write a text message or an email and avoid a situation that she knows would be awkward for her and make her feel bad. That's human I guess but it's a tad disappointing.

 

Ah, well it's just that her message has quite a... «regional accent». That might not be quite understanable to foreigners. You still feel up to the task Caradhras?

Well I see her everyday at college, it just seems too early and painful.

Also I was quite surprised to see her yesterday, (exactly one week after she dumped me) siting a little to «intimate» with another guy in the studend room. I know I've no right to judge, but damn!

 

@Ofelix: Sure, Canadian French is tricky but I'd like to help if I can.

 

Flix, clean some of that inbox if you want my opinion...

Sometimes, writing is better. If you can't say it, then write it. I'll admit it's not the same thing than discussing fact-to-face, but it is nontheless a perfectly viable way of expression.

And for the record, things are easier now that I've sorted out things with my housemate. It's like some nameless tension vanished... that sounds weird, maybe, but I can definitively tell things are different now.

 

Well, I got myself into an unpleasant situation...

There's this girl in my building (student house ) that I get along with and has a crush on another guy in the house who -although he's not unfriendly to her- doesn't seem to return the feelings. Now last night, we had dinner with all my house mates and I had brought a friend (A). Then we went to a party and A and the crushed-on guy really, really hit it off. The ironic thing is that I had asked whether my friend could come to dinner and the housemate had said "Sure, so long as she doesn't steal "the crush"." Har har...

The housemate isn't angry or anything, but it's just kind of annoying.

 

DotW; I didn't realised my box was full, I've deleted some of them now.

 

Well my latest love-affair is withering away. But everything is as it should be. She finally came to the conclusion that she's not going to start anything with me and so this little passion of mine has wilted.

At first I felt that it would've been easier if she would've just turned me down bluntly and saying it straight to my face, but that's not how nice people do things. It's easier for themselves when they're cruel to be kind. I'm quite content that she never said "Let's just be friends..." Which often just means "I don't hate you or anything, but it'd be best if we'd have as little dealings with each other as possible."

So I guess we're friends. As much or little point there is to that, but I'm still seeing her whenever I'm around. It still feels good to spend some time with her, but I think it's a good think for the moment that the roaring flames of passion have died out. It is as it should be.

 

The circle is complete, then.

Interesting interpretation. It does have some truth, though varying on the degree of sincerity, I guess...