Relationship Rant Thread #4

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The more you show that you want to be with somebody and the less that person is likely to be interested...
I don't know if it makes sense but being taken for granted is never good news.
If she thinks she doesn't have that kind of power over you she may act differently.

Whatever happens, never let her see you bleed.

 

That's a pretty dangerous rule to follow, and one that is bound to end up with you acting like a cold bastard the whole time and never ending up with anybody.

 

As to that rule, there might be some sense to it, but I think it might fit some people better than others.

For istance I might start to be inclined into that direction, without ending up being a cold bastard. A good example of why...is...

hrmphbwuahaha...

...this my struggling with the fact that I'm single.

It's either laughing at it or getting desperate, and if you get desperate, it gets you even closer to being a cynical donkeyhole than laughing about it and thinking that the more you want the less you get.

So in any case, I sent this email to this one girl that might have been interested in me, but she hasn't answered. Which isn't surprising at all, I asked her out for a cup of coffee (another one of those emails) and we really don't know each other at all, but there has been this certain spark there that which I usually notice in only in other two people who are interested about each other.

A friend of mine noted that a girl might think less of having a one night stand than going out for a cup of coffee. I guess I'd have to take her word for it.

My problem is that I'm too willing to get commited, and I'm the sort of guy girls might look for when they turn 30 or so and start to think about having a family.

 

Iku, can I call you brother? I f****** hear you, and man, I totally agree with you on that.

You don't have to be desperate to be a cynic cold hearted bastard. Trust me.

 

@DoTW: Sure thing bro.

Let's be brothers, the Brothers Jaded
Who try so hard, but never quite make it
Looking for women, with efforts gone wasted

Maybe there will be that special someone
after all the years of waiting,
love might come along eventually, belated

 

I'm not sure I get you right... you don't seem to be the one night stand kind of person, so are you worrying that she may have taken the coffee proposal for one of a sexual nature? Well, time will show.

Singe is good. It teaches you respect for women and for yourself as well. There's no reason to be desperate because relationships bring new problems of their own, as you must surely know from your own history. It's true you become cynical, but that's good. You're less likely to fall hopelessly for the first person to display any interest. And if you get jaded... that's not from being single. That's from meeting some undecided women.

 

I'm sorry to hear that, Saber.

And no, nothing would have changed if you hadn't asked her how she felt. But she's been honest and that's the only thing you can expect. You don't want to be in a relationship that's all pretend.

You're hurting now, but things will get better.

Hope you can find some diversion in school and family and friends.


As for some of you guys, is the cult of jadedness really necessary?

 

Nonono, my friend meant that many girls take proposals of sexual nature more lightly than going out for a cup of coffee with a guy, especially when sober. It's like they'd think that by spending some time with a guy over a cup of coffee would mean getting serious with someone, whereas sex for them is just having fun or something.

 

Sadly, that's true. In fact, if you tell her you'd hump her all night long if you could, she will blush a little perhaps and you'll be just a little bit too direct. But when you tell her you're in love with her, now you're the real perv and not to be touched with a 3' pole. Fortunately, it's not as dominant as it sometimes appears and it doesn't seem to be permanent for the afflicted individuals.

 

Haha, well said, my brother. Indeed, those lines could sum up our lives pretty well.

As for love popping up someday... ehh, hell, we'll see. I'm not placing much hope on that, but life has been surprising me a couple of times.

 

I am *as yet* reserving judgement. My latest foray into the realm of love is still dawdling onwards at a very unsatisfactory rate, and I've got to the point where I'm only taking mild interest (in the name of self-preservation) though I can't seem to quite give up completely. Contact is sparse, though the encouraging language has returned to some degree, and I'm left out on a limb as usual.

All I can hope is that she has something on her mind atm and she will make her bloody mind up one way or the other some time soon and not take my mortal soul with her when she leaves

This is all starting to seem very familiar...

 

I can sympathise. Love is actually a complete pain, until such time as that true love comes along and it all clicks into place. Then it rocks. But the rest of the time, it just seems like the most dismal and frustrating thing in the world, so I can see where you're coming from.

 

Unless true love is one sided.


And I do certainly hope things will be better. Its just hard and painful.

 

You have to remember that when a man tells a woman he loves her, he is implying that he wants to dominate her. It is what we do. That can be scary for a woman, not to mention make the implications of a bad relationship more severe for her to bear. They have good reasons for being flighty.

 

Where did you dig up that nonsense from?

 

My own eyes and heart. Don't you see male domination? At the end of the day, my pop always called the shots...

 

Just because your Dad appeared to dominate your mother, doesn't correlate to all men dominating all women. That's a pretty unscientific generalisation.

 

Roll on with the clicking already The seemingly endless cycle of liking someone only to be knocked back before you even get the chance to say a polite hello... I am 21 and have never had a relationship longer than 2 months. This then leads me to believe it is something wrong with me and not the girls who are not interested.

 

@ HB

When statements begin with "Men are..." or "Women do this...", yeah, we are in generalization land.

A generalization can be accurate as long as it is declared a generalization.

Is it the word 'dominating'? Perhaps that wasn't a good choice...


Edit...

And it is not just my Dad. Use your eyes...

 

I don't see enough "men dominating women" these days to justify the generalisation. My mum ruled our household with an iron fist. Most of my friends' wives probably make most of the key decisions in their households. Many of my friends' wives earn more than they do, which can be a factor.