Relationship Rant Thread #4

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N. Ireland sounds pretty tempting...maybe I'll check it out if I'd pay a visit there as an exchange student some day...

I've always had a thing for redheads as well..

 

@Jan: The fact that you're 21 and hardly ever in a relationship for more than 2 months doesn't necessarily say there's something wrong with you. Perhaps you pick the wrong girls or perhaps it's coincidence. It's also possible you're too mature for girls your age or maybe there are some cultural or philosophical differences. Don't worry. Just give up caring about that and go on in your life and there will be a woman. If one doesn't actually pop up and stay at some stage, it will probably mean you're better off without one in your life, which is also a possibility.

@Iku-Turso:

That's really a bad motivation to get a girl. If that's what makes you want a relationship, give girls a rest, really. Besides, people will think more of you if you stop giving a flying crap of them potentially thinking less of you for this or that pathetic reason.

It is. And it's not worth giving up for a poor or even average relationship. Make sure you get a good woman, otherwise it's not worth the game.

I don't mind a woman making the first move and if it weren't overtly sexual, I would always try to be as courteous and undepressing when turning one down. I think they have every right to step up and make things clearer with a guy they really like, and I respect the courage to do so. What I have a problem with is girls who would chase guys, as in many guys or multiple at the same time. I just don't think I would like to chase a girl who does the chase like that. I may be prejudiced to some extent, though.

@DoTW:

It really sucks when you like the girl a lot but she isn't your type and she's actually found the courage and resolve not to care about small-minded convenances...

@Kenixkil: Good luck and congrats. I can empathise indeed. I suppose the better solution might have been to stay friends, stop flirting with other people and start digesting the idea. But this doesn't mean it won't work out. I hope it will. Just don't hold it against her if she decides that's not it.

 

It's human nature to try and get people to think more of you, or to notice you, or to impress him. It's not his fault

 

@chev: I won't hold it against her. That's actually one of the first things we agreed on: to remain good friends if we break up. Still hoping it doesn't come to that, though.

 

That sounds like a good idea to me. There are after all plenty of other things I could focus on ATM. It is, however, quite soul destroying to be turned down by every girl you find attractive. *Sigh* Never mind, another day another mystery.

 

@Saber: It's not his fault but he will benefit from getting over it, as many of us, myself included.

@Kenixkil: That's good.

@Urithrand: Believe me or not, I know the pain. It happened to me a lot until I just stopped caring, I realised I was adding things up to more than they were and negative thinking contributed ("It won't work anyway, but let me try just to prove again it doesn't work, and make a statement"). I also realised that sometimes it was more about getting a girl than just actually thinking about the person for herself. However, a human person should always be a goal, never a means. Thus it's better to have friends and make new ones and just not close oneself to people and then it will come one day. Pushing it is just wrong on the premises.

 

Chev, apparently a lot has happened to you, you crazy old wizard (kind of like Obi-Wan Kenobi, if you think about it... thats what Lars said about him, at least).

 

Edit: Looks like I got excited too fast.

[ December 23, 2006, 05:28: Message edited by: Disciple of The Watch ]

 

Take it slooooooow, though.

 

Ugh. My ex-girlfriend is concerned she screwed up our friendship, and wants everything to be OK. I still haven't gotten over the loss of her, and I can't even think about friendship right now, so this is kind of frustrating me... I think she underestimates my love for her and complete devastation over losing her.

 

It looks like we're back to the ex-as-friends debate once more...

Were such a thing happen to me, I'd give her the F-U and move on. Friends are expandable. You'll meet plenty of people along the way, anyway. Don't wrack yourself for a "friend", especially not for a woman.

That's just my opinion, though. I am an avid hater of the idea of staying friends with exes, but you already know that, do you.

 

Saber: Two words. Middle finger.

She dumped you and wants everything to be OK? Anyone see the glaring problem here?

The friendship can heal. It's just unlikely.

And seeing the things you've complained about here before, I'd suggest you ask yourself if you even want to be her friend any more.

 

Haha... Indeed, I heartily agree. Finally, someone who isn't afraid to tell a woman who deserves it to go f*** herself.

 

Well, I don't have a problem with being her friend eventually, but right now I am still reeling from the punch. It takes more than some ibuprofen to get over that kind of pain...


In other news, this time of year blows broken hearted.

 

@Saber: New member for that club here;;

Okay, so the girl I talked about last week just dumped me. Said that she just wanted to stay friends, and that she believed that taking this any further would just hurt me more. Then she hightailed it out of the shop. She kept saying that she was sorry, to which I responded(mechnically) that she didn't have to.

Not a good experience. We lasted less than a week! To top it all off, she just HAD to dump me on Christmas Day.

Worst Christmas ever, I think... It's gonna take a while to be able to look at her in the face without hurting....

 

That is harsh... She is certainly not the right person for you. Don't worry, you'll get over her, try to enjoy the holidays.

 

She might have given you the best gift ever. You don't want a relationship with silent problems that make your life go wrong but are not brave enough to go out, right? You want a woman that loves you, not one that agrees to stay with you. And she also has the right to find someone she's happy with.

 

She had the balls to tell you, at least. That's one good point in her favor.

Bingo. Chev has pretty made a bull's eye on that one.

 

This girl I'm seeing is confusing me. She seems really interested one minute, then not so interested a bit later. She seems a nice lass, so I bet she's just confused as to how she feels and doesn't want to come on too strong until she's sure it's what she wants.

I'll not text her or phone her for a few days, leave the ball in her side of the court. She'll come running she when misses me .

 

Getting over a relationship of two and a half years is proving to be tough.

I recently realized I had left myself a message to let it go if it was going way back when it started, and that I was unhappy for months before the relationship ended, lying to myself about how things were going to get better later on.

I know the breakup eventually is very good for me, and that relationship was headed for a disaster anyway. And yet it still hurts so much.