Relationship Rant Thread #4

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Oh but she enjoys a glass of red wine now and then, it's not she dislike alcohol per se, just seeing me as a complete idiot. I can understand that and I don't mind at all. But smoking is a little bit touchy. I *know* it's bad I *know* she's probably right but dammit it's freakin' hard to pass a day without at least a cigarette.

 

Yes, Ofelix, that is what I thought. I believe she has a very sensible attitude - and one I can identify with, as well - and we both know I'm no teetotaller (to put it mildly).

As for smoking, it's damn hard to watch someone you care for fritter his lungs away and take away from his normal length of life like that. My best buddy smokes about one and a half packs of cigarettes daily and the fumes never leave him or his house. It's sad for me. I've also been very happy to see my mum, grannie and aunt all stop smoking as well. It has made them healthier and perhaps less nervous, feeling stronger inside (not bound by an addiction) and, well, with more money to spend on other things as well. If you smoke a pack daily, you could probably buy something for your computer every month instead, or something good to munch, or maybe one or two bottles of good wine, no? They say smoking pipe is less unhealthy than cigarettes (and I tend to believe it's probably better quality and generally nicer tobacco, no?), so maybe it would be a good beginning?

[ January 07, 2007, 22:44: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Flix, yeah, quitting smoking is no walk in the park. In fact, these were probably the most difficult two months of my whole life. But I did it, and so can you.

And just imagine how hard it was for me after *years* of smoking.

 

Well maybe on day I'll try to stop, I'm ashamed to say I'm addicted but it's the way it is. But this thread is getting kind of off topic so I think it's best to stop now lest we suffer the wrath of a moderator.

 

A tango of two, nicely put, Beren.

Should learn that dance.

And Ofelix, I think it's quite normal what she's asking you.

 

Hmm... Uytuun, what if he asked her something like that, would it be normal too?

 

My gf asks the same (don't get drunk around her) too but I don't really listen. I guess it's reasonable up to a point. If you're a "rowdy drunk" like I am sometimes, I think it's fair for her to ask that, if not, and you can handle yourself properly, she should have no complaints. Besides, I will second Barmy's sentiments, once we start dirnking, I'm no longer the agressor

 

Enag, that is exactly the situation with a good 80% of requests by women on their fellas . "Of course sweetheart, I'll not get drunk tonight, I'll be home by 9pm!".. walks in at 1am pissed as an Irish fart . Men just do not listen, it'll always be the same. We're all kids at heart.

 

Bah, the "one that got away" a few weeks ago is showing interest again. This is probably just a game now, or even worse a check on her part that she's still got me wrapped around her little finger, but part of me still thinks "what if...?"

Why can't human mating be as simple as it is in the animal kingdom?

 

*Sigh* Men shouldn't listen like that, but once a promise is made... It's one thing that some promises are made in dodgy circumstances - you know, pressure, the wish for the other person to piss off and stop bugging us and all - but a promise is a promise. It would be better to keep it and stop making similar ones in the future. And once again, women have the right to ask men not to be drunk in their presence - although this doesn't mean they can always cut any drinking by just showing up. With me, it's like this: as a rule, requests and negotiating are one thing. But when I see any manipulation which can't be attributed to emotions and the heat of the moment, I cut it.

 

Urith, women are just a pain in the arsehole.

There is a lass at work, a nice girl, quite quiet but she's got a nice personality. She likes me, I can tell. If I wanted I could get a bit there no problem. Not a great looker, but she's a nice lass. I just have hopes of getting this other girl, even though I don't really think she's interested in me that way. I don't think it would be right to go with this other girl when I don't really want her, I want the other girl. It wouldn't really be fair on her.

I'll just wait and see what happens... why are women such complicated creatures?

 

You are in an almost identical situation as me One that's absolutely amazing but not interested, and another that's way interested and can't hold a candle to the other

I guess it's human nature to want what we can't have more that what we can (phillisophical moment there... )

 

Why yes, chevalier, of course it would. I know a friend that asked his girlfriend to stop smoking, and she did. We're just too docile.

 

@Barmy

9pm? Good God, nobody's even in bars here until 11pm, stupid local nightlife, everyone wants to make an entrance

@uytuun

that goes both ways I guess. I have a friend so domesticated by his gf that you can almost see (pardon the graphic image here) his johnson hanging from a pendant and his balls on her earrings

i too have asked my gf to stop smoking (I don't smoke) but to no avail. Of course, I've never really applied pressure..

 

Contrary to that sweeping generalisation, many of those of us who are in long term relationships have actually learned to listen (shock! horror!) It's one of the tiny reasons why we are still in those long term relationships.

 

"Now, Harbs, don't you go getting to drunk when you go to the pub to watch the All Blacks! I want you home and putting Harbourbaby to bed before 8pm.", "Ok Harbourmissus, I will definitely be home for 8pm and I promise I'll stay sober!". You walk in late bladdered after watching the All Blacks trounce the Aussies 50-0 singing songs. Harbourmissus gives you evils when you walk in. "And where were you at 8pm?! And you're drunk!!!" " *hick* Sorry love, my mates kept buying me drinks! *hick*".

Tell me you've not been there!

 

On the contrary, I listen attentively and end up usually doing what she wants (either because it coincides with what I want or I don't mind doing it... its not like she would ask me to kill someone).

 

I happen to agree with Harbourboy. I have been married for 16 years and I didn't get there by tuning out my wife.

@BA
Sure, we all have those moments but it doesn't mean we don't listen we just sometimes "get caught up in the moment."

 

Under the thumb, Saber, under the thumb .

I still say men just don't take in information. Women are so much better than men at listening and taking in information, then handling that information. Every woman I know is ace at remembering birthdays, names, faces blahdie blah. I, and most men I know, just can't do it. We forget names easily, faces easily, dates REALLY easily. We forget what people have told us just 10 minutes ago. It's not an intentional thing, we don't mean to be ignorant it's just the nature of the male race.