Relationship Rant Thread #5

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First off: Thanks Daie, appreciate it. And thanks DotW

This gave me a laugh

@Chev

Yeah, the fact that she migrated was the reason we split up. And yes I genuinely care for her. But I can't regret how things turned out. I was one of the people that encouraged her when she considered the move. It was the best thing for her at the time and I stand by that. I also didn't want the pressure or responsibility of being "the reason that she stayed".

Perhaps despite my best wishes for her, my motivation was still selfish. I'm only 23 and we were each other's first everything. And we lasted around 6 years. Not the break-up and reconcile type either. We had only one break-up in that time. Like all relationships, the good was really good and the bad was shi+ but I wasn't and am not ready for the kind of relationship mindframe that she was heading into. Talking about the future in general and marriage and other things specifically freak me out.

I guess in short what I'm saying is maybe you're right that it wasn't the right time to split. Maybe I still love her. Maybe we should have stayed together. Maybe I should have tried to be more mature.

But I still can't regret how things turned out. I'm not ready for that kind of thing. My nightmare scenario was that we end up together and that everytime we'd fight, I would think "I should never have ended up with just the first girl I was with. I should have taken the time to see what else is out there". So that's what I'm doing now. Seeing what's out there. If I may, I recommend the b movie "Buying the Cow". Its not very good but its entertaining and Jerry O'Connel's character mirrors my sentiments exactly.

It was never a question of whether I cared for her enough or not. I'm just not ready to say "this is it".

 

That's horrible that, when you can't stop thinking about somebody but know in your heart of hearts that you don't have a Bob. I think I might have told you this before, but the best thing to cure longing is to get another girl, even if it's one who's not quite as good. I think I remember last time you rubbished that as crap advise, but it's true as owt. I've been there a few times - I always seem to get girls in my head who I can't get, then kind of overlook the ones i could get in my chasing of the others!

I'll be honest, I've never got a girl that I went after and chased alot. The girls I've had have always just 'happened' without me even trying for it. You're better off just going out into town a lot with your mates and get a girl, then maybe something will haopen with the other girl!

You can't slope after one girl, we've all been there at one point and it doesn't get you anywhere!

 

Oh, hey, I suppose I oughta mention: I left the person I was with, took my daughter and moved into my mom's house.
Yay solutions.

 

Good for you, I know that you've been thinking about doing that for a while now, it takes guts to make such a move. Hope all goes well.

 

Good luck, DJ.

 

@DJ: Wow, good luck! What you told about that guy before made me worried. I hope it turns out well

 

Yet another installment in the soap opera that is my love life...is it really that sad to develop feelings for someone you've met online? Even factoring in having spoken to them over the phone quite a lot?

 

@Aldazar

at least yours is moving right now. mine seems to have stalled. :/

 

Bummer Enag, hope something good happens soon to get it going again...stalled romances just suck...

As for mine, it's progressed to the point where plans are underway for her to come over to Aus and visit me for my birthday...very scary...dare I say though, deliciously scary...

 

Yay Aldazar! I think it sounds sweet and lovely *^_^*
And thank you for the words of encouragment--as hectic as these past couple of weeks have been, I haven't been this happy in a long time.

 

Uhh... maybe it's just me, Ald, but what you describe litterally creeps the hell out of me.

Stumbled upon my ex while having lunch at Quiznos last weekend. I was listening to music and scribbling notes and doodles when I felt a poke on my shoulder.

She sat down in front of me so I basically was forced to have lunch with her. She was polite and respectful with me, though the feeling wasn't mutual - I felt my middle fingers itching (read: I wanted to flick her off). What, did ya really think I'd forget about the history we share, you stupid [censored]? Nuh-uh. Not gonna happen.

The housemate got the hint - had a little chit-chat with her bf. Sorry 'bout your damn luck, sweetheart.

Well, it's the truth nontheless.

 

Woah, pointless fight with the girlfriend.

 

Aren't those simply the best?

Hope you guys can work it out.

 

Saber, many times a 'pointless' fight is a deeper issue manifesting itself as a more trivial disagreement. Then again, sometimes it is just a pointless fight. Relationships would be incomplete without the exciting uncertainty...pity, in my opinion, I've always much prefered certainty. Good luck on figuring out which one you are dealing with.

 

I really feel like writing something here, but I don't talk about my personal crap so I guess I will just satisfy that urge by writing this.

 

Hehe... housemate jumped in my face when she knew I had a little chit-chat with her bf. She doesen't seem to like the fact I 12-gaged to death all her hopes of something with me. I told her to chill out and get over it.

Once she cooled down, it had a strange reverse effect - she actually thanked me for the reality check.

Whatever.

 

Dotw:

I´d use the "at" sign but I don´t know how to, heh. anyway, at least you know what you want and are in control.

im still in sevilla now (was ingranada yday) and ahve to head back to salamanca tom.

I love Andalucia

 

@DotW: Sometimes people snap in and out of very strange states. Sometimes very calm and collected, logical people, can get their minds in messy shapes. Happens to the best of us.

@Enagonios: I love Spanish culture and history and besides, despite being a rather phlegmatic European, I have some Latino mentality in me. And I'm going to have to learn Spanish one day, so I can become El Chev Campeador. I didn't mean this in the romantic sense, though, hehe.

 

Andalucia is beautiful. I was there almost two and a half years ago and am going back for another visit in March. Sevilla and Granada are lovely. I remember the small pedestrian streets of Granada being very lively on summer evenings. Cordoba is a great town as well, one of my favourites in the area along with Tarifa.

Not necessarily. It depends on the ex, on how the relationship went and (most importantly) how it ended. I'm still on very good terms with a couple of my ex's (one of them in fact is among my closest friends). Though I'll admit these two are the exception rather than the rule.

 

Chev,

Oh why?

Alternatively you could live the ideals of Minne, the lofty love of the chivalric knights - you desiring a verboten girl that is married to another man and that stays true to him you both could be intensely honourable and epically unhappy