Relationship Rant Thread #5

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Yeah, but I think he meant flirting to the extent of considering leaving you for some other guy.

 

Leaving or sort-of-cheating with. Compliments are one thing. If the tongue slips too much once or twice, that's still bad, but not as much as when you keep fishing for replacements or start cuddling/kissing/cybering/what-have-you with the other person. Hitting on someone crosses the line.

And, Barmy, I know at least one who doesn't.

 

Ok, im with you guys, i wouldnt touch anyone in a relationship. Was a tad tipsy at the time and was just seeing what folk thought.

@ Barmy, never met the guy, but the friend i know her through says hes quite a sound guy, so defo staying away. If i had heard that he was a right a**hole then i wouldnt of had a problem.

 

That's exactly it Dalveen, exactly. You've firmly hit the nail. There's a difference between what you think you would do, when you are sober.. than what you actually do when pissed. I'd like to think I wouldn't get with a girl in a relationship.. but if a girl I liked came onto me when I was drunk, I wouldn't turn her down, it wouldn't enter my mind at the time whether she was in a relationship or not. The only thing that would stop me is if I knew she was with a guy I knew well, and knew that he was sound. I wouldn't do that to him in that case.

I just say the realistic side of things, people here tend to state the 'Best case scenario, when I was acting a saint' scenario.

 

Funny thing though Barms, Chev, as I do know girls who don't flirt in a relationship and girls who don't flirt with anyone at all, I do know quite a few girls who've tried to hit on me when I was single and they were in a relationship. As a matter of fact it seemed to me back then that the only girls that really tried to hit on me were dating someone to the point that I had to explicitly turn them down, when they had explicitly stated their case of wanting to do a little sidestep in their relationship. Gods those situations were annoying.

 

One of the most annoying things are girls on the clubs who are 'out on a leash', and flirt intensely, to then turn their back and kiss their boyfriend. My heartfelt wishes to them for a furuncle on their pretty noses.

And I met a nice girl this weekend.

 

Yes, Ragusa, that's disordered and wrong. I agree that kind of behaviour should never take place. I'd rather people who are not available didn't make any contrary notions (and no, I'm not personally involved in anything like that, just a by-stander view).

@Iku-Turso: It's possible you didn't have the thing the boyfriend had in long-term, but in turn he didn't have what they needed. So they decided to stay with him but get something from you too.

 

Chev,
you are probably aware that we are coming to a similar verdict under entirely different premises

When a girl flirts with me intensely she is supposed to kiss me in the end. This 'out on a leash' thing may spice up that couple's love life, but it ruins my evening, and wastes precious club time which I could better invest in someone worth it. It is just parasitic behaviour and poor manners. In a word, a nuisance. Fortunately, an infrequent one.

But to something serious, I am awaiting a phone call Wish me luck.

 

Rags, I couldn't agree more.

Haven't wanted to jinx it so I've said nothing about it yet, but embarked on a new relationship a little over a month ago. Fingers crossed, it's going extremely well, and we are both very much into each other. Keep your fingers and toes crossed guys, this is the most promising looking relationship I've had in nearly 6 years and I'm really hoping this one works :whee:

If this one goes to crap, I'm going to take a vow of celibasy and join some kind of religious cult.

 

Rags, it's parasitic behaviour as well as a moral transgression per se in the sexual realm (broad sense). And it also hurts their relationship, whether they know this or not. Plus, it's kind of unserious.

 

RIght, all the people in the club, ready, steady, wait for it.....GO! Find someone to bump uglies with! You have 4 hours!

 

my girlfriend for more than 5 years is moving to the U.S this monday. Expect a long tearful rant around a week from now

 

Okay, in the big goodbye thread, I said I might post about the situation with my housemate.

I've known this gal for many, many years, and I don't know if I already mentioned it before, but we share an, ahh, history, together.

When my bro got engaged, I couldn't afford the full price of an apartment, and turns out she was moving out on her own, so we decided to move in as housemates.

Looking back at things now, I realize how much of a bad idea that was. I already mentioned I had a small spark for her, did I? Well, she also had something for me, which I fear was fueled by the, ahh, episode, that happened between me and her back then.

After a while and some serious thinking, I then explained her that trying something with her was too big of a gamble to take, since my feelings clearly didn't had the same intensity hers did (which was a decision for the better). She took it the good way, and understood my decision. All was well... or so I thought.

Some time later, we moved to a more secluded place, because of the lower housing costs. A couple of days after our arrival, the other neighbors organized some kind of BBQ backyard party.

This is where things started to f*** up.

Enter Aria, my rebellious, mean, cynic, sarcastic goth-skater crossover neighbor who dislikes pretty much everyone (basically, a female version of me). When we joined the said backyard party, I cracked open a cold one (can of Jolt, that is), and took a seat. She came to me and asked me if it bothered me if she sat alongside me, to which I said no.

Basically, we got to know each other a little better, and this is the part that litterally got my housemate fuming. Being the blind fool that I am, I didn't even noticed it until my new acquintance pointed it out. I found that mildly amusing.

Time passed, and the more little Aria (she stands 5'1", so that's little) and I became good friends, the more jealous and fuming my housemate got. At first it wasn't so bad... but it eventually reached a point where I couldn't take anymore of that f****** around.

It turns out that your theory was correct, DJ - she didn't liked the idea of "sharing me" with another woman. Combined with her lingering feelings for me, this was grounds for a major disaster.

At any rate, I had a discussion with her this week, basically telling her that her jealousy about the friendship between Aria and myself was suffocating me, and that for the sake of our friendship, it was better for me to move out on my own.

I never saw my housemate so ticked off. Maybe she took this moving out as a betrayal or a rejection. Maybe she feels I chose Aria over her, hell I don't know, I'm not in her freaking head. Let her be pissed - either she'll get over it and our friendship will be back to what it was, or either this is the end, truth be told, I don't care. Had she been my gf, I could have understood the outburst of jealousy - but we're FRIENDS, and this jealousy has no place nor reason to be.

As for little Aria, she was very supportive of my decision and helped me find a new place to stay, and gave me a hand with deco. Her handiwork brings a goth touch to my new place, which I really like.

But anyway, back to Aria - let's be blunt, I really, really, really like her, and the opposite is also true. There is a definitive chemistry, we complete each other like two perfectly matching pieces of a puzzle. The friendship is still in it's early stages, so it's hard to tell if it will mature into a relationship... but the bases are there for something solid and serious to develop, and I think it only needs time to bloom.

I'd be willing to fully invest myself into a relationship, and I think it's safe to say she would too - she's a deeply emotional artistic type which lives life full speed or nothing, and does not love often, but when she does, it's true love - exactly like it is for me. (I DID said this is a female version of myself).

Time will tell...

[ August 02, 2007, 21:23: Message edited by: Disciple of The Watch ]

 

Things are going really good right now.

My wife and I had relation issues since our daughter birth.

I was a dick and angry; three weeks ago I expressed my feelings to her, but in a hositle way.

Last week I sent her a letter telling her I am sorry for how I communicated the way I felt. My letter expressed my feelings and express how much love I have for her.

Since the letter relations are good and my anger has dropped about 200%.

This has strengthen my relationship with my wife and daugther, as I have not been violent or angry the last two week, which is surprising.

Besides that the relationship was strong and together we have faced many ups and down. Now things are start to slow down for us. I am hoping this month we have time to relax and enjoy each other's company. I am looking forward to the month of August.

 

Aaah, after spending a week getting cranky and impatient on the phone waiting for the call of a certain lovely lady I met last Friday (I was to drunk and shy to make anything of it) I pulled together all my courage and asked a friend of hers for her number. And I got it, with the comment that the interest is mutual. My crankiness vanished and I guess Ragusa is in love Quite probably

I found it more than fitting that when I came home the kiosk at my station played Tchaikovski's nutcracker.

[ August 05, 2007, 07:02: Message edited by: Ragusa ]

 

If the interest was mutual, why didnt she phone? Congrats anyway, i guess some folk are just more lucky than others...

 

My counsellors comment it is to see if my interest is real They are woman too. I guess they know what they mean. Anyway, we had nice phone calls yesterday, and we will meet again this week to do whatever.

Not that I'm particularly ... enterprising, but the funny thing about meeting ladies is that mostly it sort of happens to me when I think of anything but that, and when I go out 'on the hunt' I fail. Maybe it's the metaphorical 'war paint' that scares them off I guess the recipe is to relax, and have fun.

[ August 06, 2007, 19:45: Message edited by: Ragusa ]

 

Pfft, yeh right, if that worked i'd be up to my neck in ladies, but, since im posting this, im clearly not. Getting contacts wasnt the magical solution i thought it would be. Still emo, just need my straightners and lip ring...

I hate clubs.

 

Then it's my pointed ears, full hair and good looks. You're bald, apparently have a silly moustache .... and just look at that silly tattoo on your forehead.

 

Apparently I have beautiful eyes.

In my own romantic life, all is well, shock horror. Just waiting till I return to Wales next month to be together.