Relationship Rant Thread #5

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I've just got my hands full with all the flirting going on in my workplace. Sheesh. Get a grip girlies (oh, please do )

Just today one, well mature woman, but rather attractive one nonetheless said the first time we met, that I have most strikingly beautiful eyes. Gee, thanks. Let's go fornicate right away. Got my mind on killing myself with work, no time for girlies. Makes it worse though. I do like the flirting.

The worse thing however is that as I get infatuated and fall in love even ever so easily, is that I'm getting infatuated with almost every single girl at my work. Bugger. What's even more worse is that the girl I'm almost fallen in love with already is nine years younger than I am (turns 18 this year, imagine that...), which makes me feel old, tired, ugly and perverted. Dirty old man...and just as I've decided that I have no other life than my two jobs.

I'll go get myself neutered now, thankeekindly.

 

For every dirty old man, Iku, there's a 19 year old dating a 27 year old woman.
Go, me!

 

Here comes the age debate once again!

I've said i before and I'll say it again -- physical age is but numbers. The variable that truly matters is MENTAL age.

I've been involved with a woman who was four years younger than me for nearly four years. I have spent time with one who was seven years younger. I also had a fling with one who was seven years OLDER than me.

Sure, some people frowned at seeing a youngster with me, or seeing "a kid" with an older woman, but bottom line is, f*** what they think. If it feels good, if there's a connection, go for it and f*** the rest.

 

Then all the widows is free for you I guess

 

Aye.

Same. By the way, reality checks can be perfectly polite and they can even be kind. People don't have to be cold and they don't even have to be distant while telling someone a romantic relationship won't happen.

I do wish you that you find someone who will be there for you, rather than use you for diversion.

It matters. Everything does. When nothing else matters, it's because of something very strong. Love can be such a thing. It looks like I've just committed a contradiction, but if you look at it for a longer while, I haven't.

As for me, I generally find the best connection with women several years older than I am. They're nearly always more on the same page with me than women my age. Those of the younger ones whom I notice in that way are also somewhat more on the same page with me than women my age. Simply put, I've had poor luck with women my exact age, certain dear friends excepted, but no exceptions on the romantic level.

 

...within reason, of course. Seven years older/younger is as comfortable a gap I am with.

Meh. I go with the flow now, so whatever happens, happens.

Damn right, that's all I have to say.

 

Edit: Perhaps instead of simply babbling without use, I could make this post serve some purpose. Here goes:

A week ago last weekend, I was at a party (kinda unavoidable as it was at my house). I didn't really know most of the people there (I knew a few names, but had never really talked to them) and wasn't making any real effort to get to know them as they were all a year or two younger than me and round to see my sister. So after I've spent quite a bit of the time in my room with a couple of friends, a friend of my sister appears to ask me whether a cd she had come across was mine. 'Twas, so she stuck around to talk and listen to it.

As more time passed, we were sitting steadily closer, until, fairly late on, after my friends had decided to go home, she was basically lying on top of me. Things proceeded from there and she ended up staying the night in my room (merely kissing and hugging, people- no conclusion-jumping!).

A couple of days later, I contacted her, asking if she wanted to meet up again. After being persuaded that my sister would not mind, she agreed. Closer to the end of the week, we met and she stayed over again. A fair bit closer this time, but nothing unduly untoward occured.

So far, so good. However, this was all in the last week of my Easter break and I have since returned south to uni for the last stretch. In addition to this, she's doing quite a bit of studying for her exams (these are fairly important) and has agreed with one of her friends that neither of them would be dealing with males until 'at least the end of the exams'. This alone would not have really bothered me too much, as I wouldn't be able to see her until that time anyway, but she didn't say that she would be wanting to see me after the exams were finished with. Well, she said that she was sorry the response could not be more positive, but that isn't really the same.

So, my two main worries are that, firstly, she may not have intended to continue a relationship with me and this is a way of 'softening me up' for telling me at that point. I'm not sure that this is really the case though, as I am fairly confident that she currently likes me (or, at least, did when we last met).

Secondly, my chief worry is that, while she may like me now, come June (as that is when we'd really be meeting again), she'll have come to her senses and decided that I am not what she wants.

It all sounds rather silly, doesn't it? How fast I fell for her worries even me. However, I have not seen a girl in a romantic sense before now (a combination of liking girls who have no interest in me and spending little time going to social gatherings), so to say that I am inexperienced would be a bit of an understatement.

Any thoughts, opinions or bits of advice on how to proceed with this would be appreciated.

 

Oook, what have I gotten myself into? Of course, into another dilemma of the I-can't-decide sort. First, sparrow doesn't call any more, but that's not all that bad, as it eases the situation with pigeon and hummingbird. If there wasn't hawk. I have no interest in hawk whatsoever, she's my flatlass and also shares my target set, but - hawk is a friend of hummingbird and pigeon is her best friend. Now I visited pigeon on my way back from Munich two weeks ago, and generally we became pretty close without starting anything (as far as long range relationships are concerned I am hesitant now) - amazingly much to hawk's chagrin: Hawk opined and communicated to pigeon that she didn't like losing her best friend to me. Worse, pigeon decided to retreat to not lose 'both of us', and while we stay in touch, we call less often and so forth. Brilliant idea. IMO hawk is just being whacky here, and thus can be ignored, but alas, that sensible view takes two holders to work - but on the flipside it makes things easier between me and hummingbird. So I'm surprised and somewhat annoyed but it's not as if the sky is going to fall.

To make things even more confusing, a while back hawk inquired whether I like hummingbird, and when I said yes, she commented that I needn't feel guilty about pigeon. WTF? That leaves me with four equally silly possibilities:

1. Hawk is jealous because of 'losing me to her best friend'.
2. I ignore hawk and enter into a long range relationship with a then unhappy girl that feels guilty for no sensible reason (she's catholic ) and win in hawk a disgruntled flatlass.
3. Alternatively, hawk is not jealous but tries to couple me and hummingbird in a way that excludes pigeon. If it is this, she does it in as ham fisted a way as probably conceivable. General experience suggests, however, that given a choice usually not nefarious but rather silly motives are the rule.
4. I might hook up with hummingbird, and hawk could become jealous because of alternatively 'losing' hummingbird to me, which would again result in hawk becoming a disgruntled flatlass.

What immature nonsense does one have to put up with!? Bleh.

 

A while ago, a few people know I split up with a wonderful girl so I could play the field. Well, I did, for a bit, then started regretting it. Then I started regretting it more. However, I never tried to get back with the girl as she got with someone else. I know the guy well and he's sound as. They make a good couple and wouldn't want to complicate anything. However, I wasn't very happy!

Now though, there's a new girl started at my work. She came out for a curry and drink with us a few weeks ago, and we talked loads. She's lovely. She's very friendly and easy to get on with. I think she's great. I've started trying to chase her, however, she's a really friendly person and I don't know whether she's interested or just being friendly. However, I don't want to come on too strong to try and find out, and scare the bird off. I really like her and don't want to mess things up before anything's started.

I also think that she won't be the one to make a move on me, even if she is interested, she's too nice and... well, nice. By no means is she shy, she's just not the kind to ask me round to her place to get drunk and have some sexytime (which I wouldn't mind, she's not a bad looker). I really like this girl for who she is, not how sexy she is. That's Barmy all and mature look!

I guess I'll just try and play it relaxed a bit more and talk to her when I can without going OTT and being like a stalker!

 

That's a tough situation, Barmy -- I knew a girl at work who was loads of fun, I thought for sure she was flirting. She wasn't. You'd have thought my invitation to go for dinner had been a request for oral sex! I then had to backpedal my butt off and assure her I was not a stalker type and would not ask her again.

A few weeks later another girl started at work and things were going well. I was nervous but decided that as long as I was polite and not pushy it would be OK -- she was one of the best girlfriends I ever had! It didn't work out, but still, it was fun.

Of course, those days are over for old LKD -- married now and with a whole new set of relationship issues to enjoy!

 

The saga of the taken chick magnet has come to yet another chapter.

Yup.



Fortunately, I have an, ahh, "arrangement" with my housemate.

 

wow, lots of movement in the lovelife's of SP'ers lol. started going out with one of the american girls from my program here in spain. having a bit of trouble getting it to progress though. this sucks. of the girls that i've gone out with since my ex, the one girl that I actually like is the one that i can't "have" and will only get to be with until the end of may. ugh.

 

Hehe... I was having lunch with my housemate and my friend earlier today, and we were almost ready to leave when we bumped into my ex's parents... which somehow recognized me. I didn't wanted them to come over and talk to me... the look on my face must have betrayed me because my housemate planted a big french kiss while my friend brutally slapped my rear end and grabbed my, err, front end. The look on the old folks' faces... priceless. They always remembered me as a straight guy - let's see what they'll think of me now after seeking me make out with two chicks...

 

go for it barmy, worst she can do is say no(well, & think you are a crazed stalker1 but thats never stopped you before!!)

 

Oooh, you know the score

 

My friend has pretty much stopped talking to me, it's not pleasant. We were close as little as two or three weeks ago, and now she hardly has time to say a word to me

 

Well, it isn't going to happen. Can't say I'm really all that surprised.

 

This taken chick magnet says now that you've got the exact time and date, drop the gloom and move on to, err, better things.

 

Chin up, nerdlings. As a woman, I can tell you that there are other interesting things in life besides women.

 

That's a bit... paradoxal, Charl.

/gives Charl a HUG OF DOOM +8