Relationship Rant Thread #5

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Ragusa, I feel your pain...I hate 1 on 1 situations with people I'm interested in...a tête à tête is my idea of horror...I prefer not to be the one all attention is focussed on.

 

Well that's just great. I had a few female friends (mine and my housemate's) over tonight and a few of my buddies too, and my gf dropped by after her shift. She wasn't too pleased about the four female friends being there and threw a jealousy tantrum at me.

I can understand she has had issues with trust and being cheated on, but jealousy tantrums is something I have zero tolerance for. She left POed... I made no effort to try to reason with her.

I'm starting to wonder if getting involved with her was a mistake...

 

She'd been at work all day, probably tired and fed up. Comes home to see you having a laugh with some other girls. Completely innocent, of course... but sometimes it pays to be a bit more understanding...

 

BA could well be right here Disciple. I agree that you should not have to put up with tantrums like that, but it is possible that she had simply had a hard day. Combined with the recent lingerie incident, she likely just made a mistake. So long as it isn't repeated, I'd personally treat it as a one-off and move on (with her).

 

For once, I find myself agreeing with ya, Barmy. It's exactly why I made no efforts to reason with her yesterday -- might as well chuck kerosene on a bonfire.

I'm not holding it against her, but I've made it crystal clear I won't stand for those jealousy tantrums. I'll let it slide this time, but I might not be so understanding next time...

 

So...t here is this guy (Ha!) that I have decided I like. As in, known him casually for a few months, thought he was nice and cute but did not make a move - for a reason I shall explain later. And then, there was a party last weekend, where.. well, something happened. Now I am worrying about the situation with him, well, DUH really, but the big complication is this:

I know him though his best friend/housemate that I was seriously interested in, although it was one-sided. Said friend KNOWS I was, and I am quite sure so does the guy I now have realized I fancy.

Am I in for major drama? Nothing ever happened between me and the guy I originally fancied. (beyond me jokingly proposing him on leap day but that was a joke)

(And, be GLAD I have not been here for the past year because the soap opera quotient of my relationships had been approximately orbit-high )

 

Ha, things have went from worst to even worst with the gf. Her issues with trust and jealousy tantrums are seriously making me consider calling it quits with her... I cannot imagine any form of long term with her which include dealing with trust issues and her throwing a jealousy tantrum whenever I decide to hang out with a female friend of mine.

And in case you haven't yet deduced - talking to her after what happened last weekend was a pointless exercise.

*EDIT* The NERVE of that _!@(*^!@_%(*^_!!!!!

I'm gonna pound a few sheets of metal until they're so thin you can see through them. NOW.

/picks up barbed wire sledgehammer and assumes HHH-esque pose

 

Sorry to hear that, Disciple...but Araaaa...you're back.

Doesn't sound too dramatic to me, to be honest, though you might want to clear things up with your current love interest.

 

I woke up this morning following a night of rather poor sleep. Of course the situation with... well, you know who having rattled in my brain all night.

I decided to man up. I picked up a BFC of caffeine, two cherry Blackstones, hopped on my bike and made my way to her place. Turns out she was expecting me. I made my point, she made hers, then we calmly and diplomatically agreed on the best course of action to take -- calling it quits.

Chalk up another failure for me. I'm not sad or anything, just... disappointed. I really was hoping things would last. I've been proven wrong, and big time.

 

Hope you find peace one day. I've been in your situation - maybe not so drastic, but still being given up on or otherwise negatively judged for my adherence to friends of the opposite gender.

On the other hand, I also understand how she felt and you probably do as well. I don't think you'd be totally cool-headed if you saw your hypothetical girlfriend having a great time with other guys. While not exactly jealous, I could be worried by such things, to be honest.

 

chev, give me a break, those chicks were me and my housemate's common friends.

If she had caught me doing a five-way with my housemate and the four other chicks, then I could understand why she would want to rip my head off... but that's not the case, because we were just having a quiet evening between friends - playing SD vs Raw, having a few shots of tequila, smoke a few blunts, swap stories, jokes, to sum it up, just having a good time.

I'm not gonna put my female friends in the backburner because of her ladyship's past issues with trust. I can understand she was hurt badly -- I was too -- but FFS, stop assuming everytime I'm with a female friend my d*** will pop out of my pants and I'm gonna screw the said female friend right here and now!

I'm not her f****** therapist. She needs to straighten her s*** out before being viable long-term material for anyone, and I've told her exactly that.

 

wait, disciple you mean your d*** DOESN'T jump out of your pants everytime you are around a female friend? man, i think i'm disappointed in you.(jk)

 

Curerent love interest? Which one?

Te guy I originally fancied does know I liked him we had a Talk where we established he is not interested in ANYONE (major bad breakup in recent past) and that I shoudl not wait, that we're friends. So ok, I propoesed to hima fter that but we did not get awkward. (He knows I was after his mad sewing skillz, not serious )

I am trying to figure out what to say to the guy I now like... since the reason i started liking him as more than af riend is because something he did just hit just about every emotional button I have in a major way. And I don't want to freak him out.

 

I bumped in the former brother-in-law today at Quiznos. Told me his baby sister is shattered in a million little pieces following our breakup. I laconically told him things might have lasted had she has a little bit more faith and trust in me, then grabbed my sub and left with no further effort.

Tthe next one who tries to guilt trip me or tries to reason me back with her gets a broken shoulder and choked to unconsciousness for the trouble. If she can take the risk of opening up, genuinely trusting me and not throw a tantrum at me everytime I hang with a female friend, then I suppose we could sit down and have a head-to-head discussion. Maybe.

 

@DoTW: You'd travel all the way to here just to choke me and give me a broken shoulder?

...nah bro, not too happy about your history repeating since this girl seemed promising enough, but I'm not going to try to talk you getting back with her. Some stupid ****ing *****le ***khead **nt gone and given her a huge pile of trust issues, right? ***ng hate that when that happens. That makes every other guy they'd fall in love with a too big risk to break their bleeding hearts again. So they'll decide they'll never trust anyone again. **it.

This one girl that I met in a bar and mind you, she wasn't that classy, or maybe a class of her own...cough cough...cheerleader...cough cough...tried to get me to her place with her friends and every time I went to the men's room she started questioning me if I had someone else around the bar I was involved with since the last guy she was with did just that sort of thing apparently..Well, in the end I refused her propositions, which made her go ballistic, shouting "all men are such pigs" Just exploiting women and that sort of thing. Funny that, that exactly what I didn't do, but that's how it goes. One man a swine, every man a swine. Anyone up for a little pork?

 

So, I saw the guy I now like very briefly yesterday. He gave me the corset is friend was fixing for me but never got aroud to doing. Apaprently friend is not around much, has lost is job, and is going to move out, possibly back to Sweden. Interesting times there.

I just wish I'd had enough time to ask him "So, did what happened at the party mean anything to you, and do you wnat this to go somewhere?" But alas, not enoug time for that. But it was not awkward, and I will see him on saturday at a meetup. Will be interesting

As for the trust issues - I have mine, but I also know how they can be dealt with so as a result, the guy I am wit has to be comfortable with talking about stuff and mutual reassurence. I don;t expect them being accommodated, i expect working with them.

 

DotW, all the rage and bitterness...let it go and become one with the universe...look at the sunlight playing with the doves' feathers and take a deep breath...you are calm...calm...*ocean sounds*

/me hands DotW a yoga mat...*grin*

Sorry it didn't work out, but at least you know now.

 

Uytuun, are you sure it's wise to mention doves to DotW with his barbed wire sledge hammer and all?...

Seriously, though, I agree with you on this.

Relax, DotW.
Raging about something that's over is not useful. I'm sorry you two broke up, but now you either forget about it, or (and I'm just listing options here, nothing else) reconsider the relationship, in your own words, maybe.
Breaking shoulders is not a viable option

 

Yup, some d***head f***** her up in the head, and now all her future relationships will pay the price, and it just so happened to be ME, and it's not a big secret I have a long, bad history with woman, so that just adds more bad history, gets me even more jaded and disillusioned! Now that's a wrap!

And actually, while I might sound POed as f***, I assure you guys and gals I'm perfectly zen. This is a side of me which some find a little unnerving - remaining cool as I block of ice while telling someone I will break their F'N shoulder.

And unless she can prove to me she got her F'N s*** together and will stop being on my a** because some d***head f***** her up in the head and now she distrusts every guy on the planet (thanks, d***head, if I ever bump into you, you're in for the beating of your life), stops throwing jealousy tantrums thinking everytime I'm with a female friend which, in her head, automatically means I'm whacking the pinata with her, MAYBE then we can sit down and rethink things.

But I don't think so.

Sure, I'll get the Souvlaki marinade. Don't forget the rice, either.

Charl is just poking fun at me with her signature taunty jabs. She's been doing so ever since I got to know her and that's one of the reasons why I like her.

 

Actually, I was just worried about the dove's wellbeing, DotW, nothing else.
Bird meets sledgehammer - you do the maths...

I should work on my jokes, it seems.