Relationship Rant thread

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Why can't that boneheaded male answer my e-mails or bloody well tell me if he is even remotely ionterested or not? As in, "I just want to be friends kthxbai" or "I LIKE like you" or "Go to hell you delusional bitch":... just blooy well stop keeping me guessing!

 

Arawbel, i felt he same way when she wouldnt answer my text's, then i found out she hardly replys to anyone, but still, she could have hinted one way or the other

 

Dalveen, there is a chance the girl is a social single type. Someone who doesn't normally need a relationship and doesn't seek a relationship for it's own sake, doesn't get along with everybody well enough romantically, and so on. Maybe it makes her more receptive to romantic advances instead of taking them very seriously as something all so really exceptional and exclusive. Maybe she even treats it as a sign of attraction more than a promise or obligation or anything. Sometimes friends behave this way without going any further. After all, it isn't such a great thing to embrace your friend, is it? Even in the conservative past, friends were more "physical" than that.

What looks strange is all the people telling you each a different thing. Just stick to what the girl tells you, I think. There are many factors that could have produced a situation like you described, with her sitting comfortably with your arm around her etc.

But a girl who doesn't tell you to take your arm back or doesn't slide out and then doesn't care enough to reply to your messages, such a girl looks like a loose girl. Just which decent woman would allow you to embrace her publicly if she didn't care about you enough to reply to your message?

I'm telling you, get a woman with a sense of good conduct or you won't be happy. Unless you are ready to put up with her flirting with other guys or even cheating on you. We guys tend to presume that we are special. But this is very rarely the case. Remember that whatever a "taken" girl is ready to do with you, she is ready to do on you if you two enter into a relationship together.

Look, I don't know if she's your friend or whatever. But something is wrong with a girl who has a boyfriend but allows other guys to embrace her in romantic-looking circumstances. A woman with a sense of conduct doesn't do that. She makes sure that there won't be any misunderstandings. I'm not saying that a friendly hug or even embrace is bad -- I have embraced my friends or held hands with them on various occasions if the situation has warranted it. But nothing romantic-looking between people who aren't single.

Just think: what if she were your girlfriend and some other guy embraced her when drinking beer and listening to the music and then she would get all soft and dreamy or giddy or whatever? Wouldn't you hate that? I, for one, would have a problem with it. Maybe a really good friend or distant cousin or whatever, but not an acquintance or classmate or workmate, for decency's sake.

If I can suggest anything, don't start anything with girls who go too far with strangers or new dates. You are more than likely to have a problem with her behaviour with men sooner or later.

Once, I had a girl who was quite flirtacious around me and very open with it. I took it for a good sign, but she kept flirting with other guys even as I waited for her. It lasted a week.

There was a teaser that attracted me. But when I stayed home in bed with a cold or something, she crawled on guys' laps and sweet-talked them. It lasted two weeks, including the illness period.

Yet another was a girl who sort of hooked up with me over one hour time. It lasted how long? A couple of hours before I saw her under the blanket with another guy.

Also, if a girl cuddles or kisses with you on the first date, it doesn't mean that you're so special. It means that cuddling or kissing is un-special for her. And I don't mean a simple hug or a cheek kiss, of course. But if you ask a classmate out and she kisses you on the lips off the bat, then something is wrong with her. Or if an almost complete stranger tolerates your embraces without at least giving you hints to keep your hands about you. Or if she slow-dances with a complete stranger.

I know this is hard to accept for a guy, but that's how it is. Unless she already has a crush on you or something, such behaviour isn't a good sign if it isn't an isolated case.

[ May 13, 2005, 22:25: Message edited by: chevalier ]

 

Well, that was the 3rd time we had met and we had a good laugh the other times, but as i said, the replying to messages isnt jsut me, she hardly replys to anyone, mostly cos she gets a message, then tells herself to reply later, then forgets, thats why most people phone her now. But still, thanks for your adivce chev, ill be sure to remember it and use it in future.

 

Glad to be of some help. Not trying to peek into your social life, but in what character were you meeting? Was it called hanging out or dating?

 

err, dunno really, wasnt dating, but then it wasnt really hanging out, it was more of a party

 

I was just asking in case it had been called dating. Non-single girls aren't supposed to go on dates.

 

I sympathise, Ara and Dalveen.

Waiting for a reply just s*cks.

 

Hmm... As it's the relationship rant thread, this might be a good place to ask this question: what's it with girls and 'needing time'?

I mean, it confuses the hell out of me. Why can't you just say what you mean/feel/etc.
Sure, it's hard, but not *that* hard. And it has this amazing effect of making stuff more clear.
Being rejected is one thing. It's not nice, but it happens, tough luck. But girls needing time means Hugo needing aspirin x_x
/rant

 

If they "need time" give it to them and walk away. Also assume it's over - go meet other girls.

Another thing I've learned: If you show no interest after they say they "need time," they need less time.

Yet another thing I've learned: Never try to understand women, they think differently than men. Not a knock, just the truth.

 

I have only ever had one instance when needing time hasn't mean it was over.

 

Aye, it's a close second on the "Relationship Fatality Scale" to the classic "We need to talk..."

 

I had a 'need time' scare around christmas, everything turned out ok though.

 

We need to talk is still easier than we don't need to talk...

 

I have to admit, both of those are easier to take than "I hate your freakin' guts and can't believe I went out with you, you stinking bastard!"

Not from personal experience...it's just what I've heard.

 

Bordels are illegal.
Bars do not interest.
Female students are cold like ice.
And I have no work either.

So is it no wonder that it's hard to find one night relationships.

 

Can't blame them for refusing one night stands, can you.

I suggest someone changes the name of this thread to "Men's sometimes irrational complaints about women." You deserve a place to complain.

 

Well, at least you only accuse us of being irrational sometimes. It's probably more than most of us would say were the shoe on t'other foot...

 

No sh!t.

 

Aah, it's cute reading about how distressed you are because of women. *power trip*