Relationship Rant thread

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Actually, said exchange was done in English. He actualy said I was "more than a hadfull" and I am trying to figure out if it is a) a good thing or b) criticism about my weight.

That clear it for you, Wirhe?

 

But in what circunstance did he say it? Had you been discussing about your weight previously or is that some country-slang?

[ July 31, 2005, 22:17: Message edited by: Wirhe ]

 

the circumstances: After I sent him photographs, with much fliting/teasing involved. so, he either thinsks I am more than a handful in a good sense of, well, being wild//hard to handle or, he thinks I'm fat. Which sucks.

 

IMHO, if you have to analyse whether what he said was good or bad, and you honestly believe he is capable of the bad side, then he isn't worth your trouble.

 

@Arabwel:
I'm sure he meant it in a good way. But if you really want to check, assume he meant it in a bad way and respond appropriately. His frantic counter-response should be all the reassurance you need. (I can't believe I'm giving this advice. )

 

Perhaps he might be probing the ground, though I do not know. Sometimes people say things not so much to say them as to hear the reply. Perhaps as your negative response would be a probe, so might have been his original statement.

Did you make any comments before he had the chance? Did you ask any questions? He might have said what he did to release the tension or perhaps to find an amicable way out of a potential rough spot.

 

...

Want me to copypaste 2 months worth of e-.mail, Chev?

Suffice to say, am thinking he meant it the good way - gives me less headache that way.

 

I'm sure he was.

 

Arabwel, in English, it sounds like a compliment - I would say its more of a tease about your personality.

Women should relax more about their weight, as it drives men mad. I dated a chubby girl a while back, and was more than happy with her looks, but in the end the relationship ended as my constant reassurance was not enough, and the fact that she kept flirting with others to keep her confidence high did not exactly help the situation

 

Yeah, some women can be very uptight about comments that may be construed to be about weight. My advice is to always assume a compliment. My flatmate is going out with a girl at the moment who takes everything as some comment on her weight (granted, she has put on a couple of pounds since they were together, but I still wouldn't say she was fat) and inevitably forces the point, so the poor bugger has to justify himself. It wouldn't be so bad, but Dan's never had a way with words, so usually flounders, just stammering for several seconds before muttering something with the word "nice" in... Which is about the worst thing he could do. But he'd probably be ok if he hadn't been made so paranoid about making an - unintentioned - insult. As a rule, men aim to please - but are given to occasional lapses of incompetence that are best ignored.

 

Sometimes I think the world would be a better place if people were brutally honest. Maybe not exactly in a brutal way but definitely honest. If I were with a girl who put on a couple of pounds and I didn't mind, I would tell her it didn't matter rather than that she were all thin and slim.

Anyway, Cesard, I mean Cúchulainn ( ) is right. In English, "more than a handful" sounds more positive than negative. If the guy is a native speaker, you can probably rely on this.

@Cúchulainn: Hate when they do that. Mind you, I don't mind being close with friends and civil with strangers but when it looks like hitting on a guy or leading him on, I dump the girl. I also hate it when they make jokes about doing things with other guys.

 

Honesty? In a sparking relationship? What have you been smoking, Chevalier? Everyone knows that honesty is the quickest way to end the affair, especially if there is no slick bragging'n'praising involved. Or a few diamonds.

 

That's the point, Wirhe. You're better off single than in mutual bragging & praising. If you are to leave the wonderful single state, it'd better be something sane.

 

Aah, the weight issue. It's a battle you can't win. So many times have I had to reassure my friends and I never convinced them they were not looking bad.

But really, it's all those quirks and annoying habbits you like so much and are attracted to, otherwise you'd all be with...a (perhaps girly looking) guy: reliable, easy, rational, will reason the same way you do...

Aha, do I notice a frown? Would you rather be with a complex, emotional, insecure woman? Yes you would!

See, you're weird too! And we love you for it.

 

It's a predator-prey issue. Can't eat damned veggies all the time.

 

I really don't care how much weight a girl has. In ninth grade I was nuts for a chuby girl, what mattered to me was her persenality (though she did have a nice rear).

 

Isn't it a "dog-eat-food" matter, rather?

 

Why the hell make me think there is something between us and then tell me it can never be?

*goes to get chocolate & tequila*

 

*complain, moan*

Stupid rumours...stupid people...stupid text messenging...stupid me...

*goes to get chocolate, but not tequila*

 

Doesnt have any issues (yet), but gets tequila n e way...