Relationship Rant thread

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You're right Uytuun and Tal. Generalizations are unfair and inacurate. Its unfair to generalize women, especially since any generalizations of men are completely inaccurate concerning me. I am nothing like the generalizations of men say, so its unfair so go saying generalizations of women. Hitch goes and describes these generalizations rather well, however in my expierience most of what is said concerning women is earily true. That doesn't mean that all women are that way, but that the majority or at least many women are. Obviously there are countless examples of women who don't fit these generalizations. Women on SP tend to be amoung them as the generalizations of women doesn't include them being interested in fantasy or D&D

I mainly found Hitch so interesting and good as I can empathize perfectly with the two main characters at various parts of the movie and what they say echoes my thoughts exactly. I don't mean that about the generalizations of women, but of their feelings for the women they care about. Some of their mistakes are also a mirror to mine, especially the one Will Smith's character made with that girl he met at uni... Point is, I thoroughly enjoyed Hitch as many of its meanings relate to me perfectly, especially at the moment.

And I had a relaspe yesterday, at least it wasn't nearly as strong as the previous relaspes. This is good, as before they were all equally strong, so now it shows that I am starting to move on. I still think about her and care for her, but I am beginning to accept that she cannot be with me. Yes I came to this conclusion in my mind quite some time ago, but now my heart is beginning to realise and and is starting to cope with it.

 

My rant about relationships:

"I don't have any."

For some weird reason, the girls keep avoiding me. I've got enough friends of that mysterious sex, and I've got no trouble talking to them, I'm not such a lost case, it's just that they always have boyfriends, and are nearly always not the least interested in anything more than casual talk.

I even got this one from a girl which at that moment (and almost to the same degree now) seemed perfect: "I'm hurt from previous relationships, and can't fall in love with anyone now, but I really like you."
She's really sweet, nice and all tha, but she gave me that crap, and a few weeks later, she had changed her mind about meeting me (got to know her over the Net), because she'd met this wonderful guy she wanted to spend the holiday with, and she could "see a future with him".

And anyway, she could see that we didn't fit together, since I wasn't her "type", and she didn't like my style of clothing. (She had seen ONE picture of me, waist and up!) Her guy should have a certain style (mainstream clothing), and short dark hair. But she "really liked me, and knew there was some lucky girl out there who would get me one day", all the time being so damned nice. Wonderful girl. A little bit flirty too, and then a 180-degree turn. That hurts. At least I've had one girlfriend. I know there's guys (and girls) who's got it a lot worse out there. I really envy you guys who's got someone who's crazy about you, even if you don't love them back.

Thanks for letting me do this therapy stuff. Hopefully noone got too bored and committed suicide while reading.

 

Marvin, your problem is you take them too serious. The fact that you can get like this even after not having a relationship with the girl is what's scaring them off. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do about this but charge ahead with your own life and take control of it (education, job, money). Go to the gym, work on the muscles girls are attracted to. Read and travel, broaden your horizons so you will have a lot more to talk about when striking up conversations with women. Believe me, this girl is not all that if she didn't like you for your clothing. LOL. F**k her. Success in these aspects in your life will give you more confidence so you can deal with women and get what you want. You are going to get hurt dealing with women at this stage in your life because women are not ready to settle down. And you don't know what you really want yet... or sorry, what you really need yet. Until then, have fun with your buds and be patient.

 

Rolsuk, PLEASE! Stop telling us about 'Hitch'! I think this is your fifth post in which you describe 'Hitch'. I really think it's enouth. So you've started to move on? And how long is it gonna take? And I don't think movies like Hitch will help...

Marvin, don't worry! I've also had only one g/f. Please, I beg you, don't envy us guys who have some crazy girl in love like hell! If a girl's madly in love with you and you don't like her, it can really be a pickle!

rules!

 

@Marvin

Well there is your first problem. Meeting people on the internet is no way to go. Sure, you'll hear about 'some' instances where people met through the internet and now they're happily married but there are far more untold stories about how someone was let down over the internet. Take note Marvin that she was probably lying to you most of the time she was letting you down. She obviously sees some problem with you but she won't tell you what it is (and it isn't the clothing). I think the main problem would be that you're trying to pick up a girl on the internet - not exactly the best show of male boldness and security in oneself.

 

The problem was Martin, you were serious and she wasn't. Girls pick up on this pretty fast, and some (especially younger) will play games with you and get a kick out of teasing you. It is mean, so my advice to you is do not wear your heart on your sleeve and tell them how lonely you are. It shows weakness to some women who play on it. Instead , like Abomination said, meet women in real life where you can gauge their actions easier. This woman was probably a figment of your imagination. Get out there and shake your world up. Ask and talk to women what they want and listen to what they say. There is nothing wrong with you. I consider myself lucky with women and I strike out six to seven girls to every one. Don't let one woman knock you down. Say F**k her, forget her and move on to the next one real fast. I am sure in another year you will have forgotten this even happened. Always move forward. And never follow a woman around like some lost puppy. It will hurt your pride and the respect of your friends. Go get what you want and be damned with the rest.

 

@ Kelvon- I'm sorry if my publicity of Hitch is annoying, Ijust really enjoyed it and how it echoed my thoughts exactly. But then again you have a beer smiley and mention your love for it almost every post...

@ Marvin- listen to Abomination and Newfie, its not you, just get out there and show them ladies what ya got

As for me, I had a lovely little relapse today, thats two nights in a row. They aren't as strong as the previous ones, but they're still there. And yes Kelvon I am starting to move on, and as for how long it will take I have no idea how long it will take. I'm doing my best, thats all I can do, I've no idea how long it will take though.

 

It's just the modern culture with the emphasis on sex. People won't really swallow random sex for the sake of it, so relationships won't be gone. In turn, this creates the urge to have crappy relationships but still some relationships even for people who aren't immediately interested in sex. Put your foot down and say enough is enough. You don't need a woman to be a man. Now, you obviously need a woman to get the fullest experience of being a man, man and woman complementing each other into the perfect expression of humanity and so on and so forth, but this obviously needs to be a special woman.

So I would say wait and fall in love with someone. Or find a great match. Or build it from scratch with someone who is a good material. Whatever makes it for you. Just don't jump into low quality relationships just for the sake of being in one. They only tax your nerves, burden your soul and tie you down. Especially being in a relationship you know won't last is pointless.

You'll be better off if you concentrate on your education and getting a good job and have a varied social life unless you actually meet a gir you suppose you could keep forever (and she you) if things don't go bad. Other than that, keeping it at friends is a far better idea. A girl won't disappear over a week or a month but your crush might. Especially if you find another one. So just wait for something special. Even if this means waiting forever and not getting it for some people, it's still better than rushing into crappy relationships. Sure, it's better to have loved and lost than not loved at all, but how much love is there in those "casual relationships", anyway.

As for the internet, it's not a bad environment for meeting someone but a bad one for looking. But hey, I've just said looking for relationships is a bad idea, anyway. Looking for the right girl is a good one, but not for for a relationship. Relationship makes sense if you have met a girl you think might be the right one.

 

Does it even matter, as long as you're having a good time? The point is NOT to think about the fact that you're trying to move on, the fact that you've really got to find something to do or that you just had a relapse. Even though it sounds awful, a good advice would be: take a brake from the Relationship Rant Thread.

 

@ Kelvon- thats what I was planning on doing, however due to a rather nasty infection of my elbow I am not allowed to do any physical activity, thus my primary means of distraction and passing the time are gone. Thankfully I got cable internet, not on my good comp yet but soon, so I'll at least have that. But I like being active and I'm striving to become more so, this little mishap with my elbow won't help a bit.

I find that rugby and other sports distract me fully as I focus completely on it, and as it takes much time, its the perfect way for me to get ym mind off of her. I'm also getting in the routine of working out and such so there's even more time I have to fill. I guess I'll have to play video games to pass the time and distract myself, its not like its a terrible fate, but my physical endurance will suffer and I'll be behind when I start practicing again. Point is, I can't do physical activity for the next to weeks, as a result I'm going to get out of shape and lose my key method of distraction. And there's my rant, I had to get it out of my system.

 

Goin back to the whole generalisation of women thing... I think its totally impossible, after a while you think you have them sussed out, but then one comes along that completly re-writes the rule book for us...

/me wishes there was a rule book on women...

 

Now for my two bits. I feel it is my duty to share a piece of wisdom that I have learned. I know that every confused loverboy that reads this will see me as a cruel and uncaring person but my intentions are pure. So without wasting anymore space I begin.

LOVE is not a highschool fling, it's not a momentary attraction, or a longing for another human being. Love has nothing to do with relationships. The bonding between two people is nothing more then a chemical attraction and a mental state of mind. The love that our society feels safe to name is nothing more than a generated emotion that uplifts you and then vanishes as you grow distant with the one that you "love".
True Love is the compassion felt between two things for no apparent reason. It is the compassion a student feels for his teacher who so willingly passes knowledge down to him. It is the compassion that a parent feels for their infant. It is the compassion a young kid feels when he wishes to help another for no apparent reason. It is nothing more than pure compassion that is untainted by societies ignorant boundaries.
The grief most people feel after a bad relationship isn't their undying love crying out to be reunited. That's just life. Accept the grief as you would joy and indifference.Accept it and forget the things society deems necessary. Flaky relationships and women who use men like trading cards are unimportant. Learn to find joy in all aspects of life. Whether that be walking the dog or playing a sport, just learn to enjoy every bump and curve in the road of life.
If you find this threatening then remember "it is human nature".

 

or a 'perfectible relationship handbook'

Atari Man, that was deep, truely deep...

 

sometimes i think this too...

then i think, what would be the use if every guy had this info. i'd rather have mel gibson's "what women want" mind-reading ability. there's the stuff

but seriously, i think that if you could predict everything, it'd get boring fast. :/ knowumsayin?

 

Not good, could you imagine having every paranoid thought from a woman goin through your head every 3 seconds? I can barely handle overhearing girls slag off their other halves in the work place, it drives me insane!

 

yeah, but mel gibson learned how to control it in the movie didn't he? i could do the same

 

Now don't go generalizing again

 

HA! You know Im right though, no offense girls...

 

well now... i guess you might be...

 

Women should be taught from a young age to 'say what they mean' instead of giving cryptic clues - that way, everyone will be happy.