Sex education in schools

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Shaman, as I said before, it is very easy for anything taught in public schooling to become polarized. Now, just to make it clear, even considering everything I've said, I do think that public education is a better course than the lack there of, but I do think some kind of consent or opting out should be offered.

 

Shaman: The problem is that it's very easy to cross the line and moralize one way or another, and it's just as easy to shy away from the line, omitting key facts because they don't want to cross that line. It gets even more complicated when nobody can agree on where that line actually is...

 

While it's true that sex at an early age can lead to "emotional difficulties" I'm not sure that goes away when you reach a "mature" age. Emotions -- including heartache -- are always there no matter your age or maturity level. It's part of life and no amount of counseling or preparation can really immunize a person from it.

I'm not sure I like public schools taking on the role of sheltering kids from emotional hardship in life. Teach them about zygotes and testes and whatnot, sure, but both the Left and Right get far too concerned about teaching the other stuff, i.e. morals, emotions, what's right and wrong about sex, love, relationships, etc. I say stay out of that. Parents can try to teach kids that stuff but most of it we struggle through ourselves. Heck, it's why there are 10,000 songs about love lost, getting your heart broken, longing for the girl you can never have, and so on.

If I had kids (and maybe this is part of the reason I'd rather not have kids) I have no idea what I'd tell them to prepare them for the inevitable heartbreaks they will face in life, both in terms of romance and more generally about life. But I'm not sure Oprah or the Bible could do any better.

 

While it's true that sex at an early age can lead to "emotional difficulties" I'm not sure that goes away when you reach a "mature" age.

No kidding! Also, when you get older, the risks of unplanned pregnancy and STIs also don't go away. My point was that we should tell them that sex can lead to all sorts of possible negative consequences, not just the medical ones.

However, a mature adult is, or should be, better prepared to deal with heartache or other emotional stressors than a teen is. I mean, be realistic here -- most teens are less capable of dealing with a lot of things, which is why we take steps to shelter them from things until they are ready to deal with them.

I just think that if we don't at least tell them about possible consequences of their behaviours, they will be in for a rude shock if and when those consequences hit, and we won't be left with much of an answer when they ask "why weren't we warned about this possibility?"

 

LKD, most teenagers will never listen to the wisdom of those who have been 'there' and are coherent enough to understand and relate the pitfalls of various actions (did you listen?...I did not.). Especially if a teacher speaks in terms as nebulous as 'emotional difficulties' about issues of such relative immediacy as sexuality to a teenager. I think most individuals will deal with the trials of life as they will, independent of external interference.

My sex ed began in fifth grade (10 years old) during a field trip to a 'health center' during which I don't remember much except that we were shown explicit footage of child birth.....even today I am not sure what the point of such visual divulgence was. Then there was not a mention of sex througout middle school (grades 6-8, age 11-13). In ninth grade (age 14-15) I was given a comprehensive overview of sex and reproduction.

Fifth grade was too early for such explicit education. Ninth grade was too late, sex ed at that point did not tell me much that I was not aware of. I think around 12 to 13 years old is the apporpriate time for educators to attempt to sway the behavior of their students.

 

Nunsbane, maybe the little buggers won't listen -- I taught them for years and I know very well that no matter what adults do, there are some teens who will do whatever the heck they want because they are, well, wired that way, I guess. BUT once they screw up and start trying to blame everyone else for their own willfulness, I think it it vital that we as a society say "Uh Uh, home girl/boy! We have documented evidence that you were fully informed of the possible consequences of such bahaviour. Therefore, you will have to face the consequences of your decisions, and we're not going to be guilted into making sacrifices that you should be making.

Good teachers don't speak in nebulous terms when teaching kids this stuff -- concrete (yet theoretical, of course) examples, "parables", and other such techniques can and should be used to make points crystal clear to even the dullest of humans.

 

Here's something to suggest that Sex Education is not up to the task. Yes, maybe I have been hanging around this crowd too much...

 

I hate to say it but the blame rest not on the school but on the parents. I grew up with a mother who was opened about sex and its dangers; when engaging in the act I took precaution that I may not have known about or may have slept through in class if it was not for my mother taking time to explain to me about sex.

As an uncle who has a few teenage newphews I actually have sat down with 2 of them and talked about sex openly. I did not tell them NOT to have sex but to play it safe and use their head above their waist line.

As a parent of a 3 year old I will start to discuss this subject with her around the age of 10 or 11. I want her to be educated and prepared when she does decide to have sex. As a parent I know it is my responsibility to educate my child, even though the local school system start around the 5th or 6th grade.

As far as sex education goes, schools should start offering sex ed at the 5th grade (w/ parents approval) and each year add more content and really try to drive home the importance of SAFE SEX. The first year in high school, sex education should be a requirement to graduate.

 

Safe sex education is probably the best route if you want to lower pregnancy rates and STIs. But for someone who believes that there are other things, like morality, emotional health, and religion, that are also important, safe sex education is a double edged sword.

Teens will often get the impression that "if they're teaching this in school they must be OK with us doing it!" and then proceed to charge ahead, engaging in safe, promiscuous sex, and then suffering social stigma and other non-medical consequences.

That's what makes talking about this stuff so difficult. Anytime someone raises a concern about safe sex education, particularily if said person is religious, he is immediately labelled as a "religious wingnut" who is "forcing his outdated morality on the rest of us." "Separation of church and state!" and other such comments. Such whackjobs do exist, but not everyone who disagrees with some of the details or finer points of how that material is delivered is a whackjob.

 

Schools can help or provide information to discuss but the parents are the ones who need to sit down and have a serious talk with their kids.

 

The problem is that the School, as an extention of the State, has a mandate to see that certain information is conveyed as a matter of public health. The material, however is much more complicated than just anatomy and a few health pointers. What compounds the problem is the fact that important information does not come with a clear consensus. There are many things beyond just what the parts are, what they do, how to use birth control that these kids need to know, but there is a lack of agreement on what is right and wrong in that regrd. As a result, important things are left to the parents. But when the parents have certain expectations on the student's behaviours that the student has no intention to abide by, they will still have strike out into something that the school cannot truly prepare them for with a great many holes in their understanding...

 

Children will rebel but with proper child raising can even make the most rebellous child at least be SMART and SAFE about sex...

 

I don't buy that for a second. Teenagers aren't stupid, just young. Teaching them that abstinence is the best option because it is the only sure-fire way to reduce the risk of STI's and pregnancy to zero while also making sure that they understand the efficacy of the various methods of contraception is not going to confuse them. The strength of the pro-abstinence message is not reduced when it is part of a comprehensive program, as such programs already (and rightly) tout abstinence as the best option.

 

But there is more to sex and sexuality than just condom use. That's where the holes are. Those are the questions that the School can't answer, and usually parents are also unlikely to be able to touch...

 

I don't think that teens (well, most teens, anyway) are stupid, Drew. Just impulsive as hell and when something goes wrong these days they are more than willing to play any card they can to avoid taking personal responsibility, including blaming the school system for their own bad choices.

I myself am not at all opposed to a comprehensive sex ed system -- like the one I outlined at the beginning of this thread. I just want it made very clear to the students that there are all sorts of possible consequences to having sex, not just the medical ones, and that if they are old enough to be doing it, we as a society expect them to take responsibility for those actions.

 

The school system can provide websites and the parents can review them with their kids; again, the school provides the information and it is the responsbility of the parent to go over the information with their child(ren).

I'm not saying that every parent will take that responsibility, but it is the parents responsibility regardless if they sit down and talk to their child(ren) or not.

 

Agreed, LKD. I, too, believe this should be addressed in sex ed, just as it was addressed in the sex ed I had in high school.

 

No matter what you teach in sex ed classes at schools, 14-17 year olds are still going to have sex. The home has a much bigger impact on whether a kid will have sex or not. Teach what you like in school, and when you like, it won't work. Kids will just think classes teaching abstinence are lame and will not listen. Kids/young adults want to have sex for the same reasons adults want to have sex - it feels good. If they want to do it, they will.

 

Barmy Army, don't forget about curiosity. That's how I lost my virginity, and I suspect it's true for quite a few others. Despite getting all the right advice and having nothing but good examples, I still had sex at the earliest opportunity.