Splitting because it goes too well?

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I think this matter does indeed boil down to one word, but it's not "Thoughtlessness" but "Pessimism." Human nature seems to always be to assume the worst will happen at some point, and people want to be the one in control of when this bump will come. Therefore they end the relationship because it's damned well doing to be on their terms, and nothing will ever convince them that things could actually go well forever.

Edit:- Corrected spelling.

 

That would work if they sought no relationship after the one which they break. However, after breaking up they come back to the pool. That's the thoughtlessness.

 

For me, I see it as more a case of fear than thoughtlessness or pessimism. Fear of any possible semblance of abandonment combined with fear of never feeling anything resembling love can be quite a thing to deal with.
Constantly believing that the person one is in a relationship with WILL one day abandon one whilst trying to come to terms with the idea that one can find it hard being happy without someone to share that happiness with can result in a lot of internal conflict and a lot of unnecessarily-sabotaged relationships.
But it doesn't help either if the desire to avoid said abandonment results in one subconsciously seeking out partners with whom a stable, loving, long-term relationship simply will not work.

Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything, just rambling here, pay no attention to the hunched man in the corner over here...

 

Perhaps you're getting me wrong... Of course, the first reaction is pessimism, or fear, or whatever applies. However, what is the outcome? The outcome is that people break a relationship that is going well and soon after they start another one. What are they seeking - a crappy relationship? No, far from it. They're still out for something wonderful etc etc.

Basic consistency demands that they break up when the new relationship starts to be wonderful and all. However, doing that prevents them from reaching their goal, which is... a loving relationship with someone very special. But do they ever spend a minute thinking about it? No, really. They're surprised to the extreme when they discover the nonsense of that and it usually takes years.

Another reasonably logical cause would be the fact that although everything seems to work well it doesn't. The person gets a hunch that something's wrong, that it won't develop into anything good or some such. I guess this is often the case. However, this granted, the person isn't breaking up "because it goes too well" because it simply doesn't go too well at all. Asking yourself a question or two and spending a minute thinking on the answer would fix that. Do people? No, they don't. Instead, they second-guess themselves after years.

That's why, in my view, it ultimately comes down to thoughtlessness, whatever the initial reason (fear, pessimism etc) is.

 

Yes...I would agree with that. Its happened to me...when I was in my 12th grade... Apparently I have the worst luck in the world when it comes to the ladies.

What happened in my case was that there was a possibility of her moving to the USA after HER 12th grade...so she didnt want to get hurt IF she went to the states...and I ended up getting dumped.

Women are the weirdest things on this planet.

 

The problem that arises though, with fear and pessimism, is that it often results in an completely non-logical ('illogical' didn't seem to quite fit the sentence right) pattern of convincing oneself that one is looking for the RIGHT person when in fact one is subconsciously seeking all the WRONG persons as befitting the pattern, so that one has the comfort and predictability of the patter running it's usual course, then when one does inadvertantly FIND the right person without realising it in time, one then follows the pattern as per normal, thus ending the first real loving relationship to ever come along. Then one spends the rest of one's life (thus far) regretting that mistake, trying to win one's Miss/Mr Right heart again whilst falling ever deeper into the destructive pattern.