The adventures of REAL Man (SoA)

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I've figured out a way to justify the 6 person party limit in role play!
Ok, see, the people in the Government are all just a bunch of wimps. So they got together and decided to outlaw Parties of more than 6, seeing how they would kick their asses way too fast to do anything about it. Then they got the Mages to summon up and invisible 'watcher' who prevents the 7th person from joining. In this way, the Party Limit is justified

 

Not sure why Lord Nocturne posted that comment in this story thread...

Anyway, congratulations on having killed the Balor. Much different fight than Lerrahud had due to the "no cheese restrictions." Not that Lerrahud cheesed up, but I figured it this way - the svirfneblin gave a BIIIIG clue that something nasty would happen and Lerrahud may be stupid, but he ain't completely braincelless - especially after drinking 4 Mind Focusing potions. Anyway, I can see your "no cheese" rule makes things interesting for you.

Keep writing!

 

I posted it because earlier on in the thread, you (Kailynne) asked how Tjek could justify having REAL Man kick someone out before going to Spellhold. He knew that He'd get another party member, and he'd have too many, so left someone behind.

 

I, personally, don't see a -thing- wrong with buffing before a fight. In 90% of combat situations you know a tough combat is coming up. My very first run-through I stopped on the giant stairs leading down to Firkraag, having just coincidentally found three different artifacts of dragon-fighting earlier in the dungeon and heard "strange snorting" from below, put two and two together, and cast/equipped every dragon-fighting booya in the book. That's really not *lame*; it's just the basic adventuring instinct of a long-time gamer. (-: I also think it's silly to eschew useful combat tactics--it's a fight for your life, man, use whatever you've got! REAL Man, however, has a wisdom of 3, and believes anything anyone has ever called cheese for any reason whatsoever, is cheese. That's sort of his raison d'etre. I didn't start this expecting him to be able to finish everything. (-:

So, after finally disposing of that @!*#$!! Balor, REAL Man went and talked to Adalon, then moseyed over to the drow city. Oddly enough, the drow war party and the kuo-toan patrol were relatively easy fights forcing no reloads. I'm amused at how the fights that are bitter hard for Lerrahud are no sweat for REAL Man and vice versa. REAL Man's biggest weaknesses are shaping up to be the most powerful monsters (liches, dragons, demons, and very high-level mages), who it's difficult to tackle one on one without using the player's superior intelligence or some preparation spells. Lerrahud seems to have the most headaches with parties, who exploit his solo status.

Anyway, in the drow city, REAL Man went into the bar. No quests in here. Drow really *are* an alien species. There were plenty of pit-fights, though. REAL Man does very well one-on-one against a sahaugin or drow or something. I thought the beholder would give him more trouble, but it died quickly. REAL Man was lucky, I guess. Imoen, our only mage, was less fortunate trying to fight the wizard's duel. A quick reload, and the team got back to business.

REAL Man bumped chests with Solaufein, and they apparently male-bonded, since Solaufein has been friendly since. Off to do the handmaiden's bidding, killed the ambush without trouble, and then got to the illithid area, OH MY GOD this was hideous. REAL Man refused to take advantage of the lull between Solaufein saying "the illithid will be here soon" and their actual arrival to cast any spells, and it showed. REAL Man can win this fight, but the illithids suck the brains out of and kill three or more of his party members each time, and if it's REAL Man the game is over, and if it's the clerics there's no one to resurrect the dead. Many frustrating reloads later and the flayers are finally dead. REAL Man will not be going into the illithid cave; that's all there is to it.

Further bulletins as events warrant.

 

The first time I did that quest I told my warriors to guard the area as soon as Solaufein said that 'the illithid will be here soon'.
Guess what, the fight was over before it started, because all and every mind flayer was killed as they teleported in...

 

tjekanefir - Yeah. Isn't hat interesting - the solo vs team dificulty situations? Or, the game play vs. game restrictions difficulty comparison? This is actually part of the fun of reading your story while playing mine - the comparions almost make me relieved that I am not playing your game - or conversely, wishing that I was! 8-)

Anyway, keep it up. The light is less than a chapter away!

 

When last we left our hero, REAL Man was staggering away from a devastating fight with some illithids that had left Imoen, Anomen, and Minsc dead. (As if this weren't bad enough, this outcome had taken at least four reloads to achieve--in other attempts REAL Man died, or both Anomen and Viconia did, leaving no one to raise our dead.) REAL Man pitched camp then and there, only to be utterly humiliated by a bunch of cheesy Kuo-Toans slaying him as he tried to sleep. Damn them. Luckily, REAL Man's god had been watching over him and astutely saved the game before he rested, so a reload and a peaceful night's sleep and then everyone in the party was alive again and ready for more action.

Back in town, a pickled fish asked REAL Man to kill a priestess and bring back her brain. REAL Man just isn't suave enough to go talking the fish out of it, so he complied. Easy fight. Then Phaere put us to work killing another beholder. This beholder, like the one in the bar, was also dispatched without incident. REAL Man was able to talk his way out of killing the svirfneblins. (There were about twelve different ways to do it--you needed an intelligence much smaller than 8 not to be able to figure one out.) Then Phaere wanted REAL Man to kill Solaufein. REAL Man was having none of that crap, so he went and told Solaufein exactly what his bitchy ex was up to. Solaufein thanked him and escaped. REAL Man had had about enough of this stupid drow society by now--this is only reinforcing his positive feelings about the patriarchy, you do realize! And then Phaere ordered him to sleep with her.

Here, my virtual Y-chromosome faltered. What does a REAL Man do, anyway, when he's confronted with a woman who barks "Hey, you, worhtless male, get over here and service me now, or I'll kill you?" Being a sex slave can't be manly. On the other hand, trying to get out of it isn't either. After hemming and hawing for a few minutes, I decided that James Bond and Captain Kirk had both boffed their way out of similar situations, so it must be all right for REAL Man to. So he did. Viconia didn't mind.

Then the Matron Mother ordered REAL Man to go get her some blood, but while he was on the way to do it, a Handmaiden grabbed him on the street and ordered him to go kill some cultists. I hadn't remembered the slimes being this damn hard to kill, and don't know exactly why they were. As far as I know I've never used any special spells on the things. Maybe REAL Man's weaponry just isn't well-suited to slime-killing. Eventually killed the things, and went off to get the blood. A drow mage started giving REAL Mage a song and dance about a magic rope belonging to a famous thief that would let him sneak into a lich's house and rob it. Luckily, this was way too cheesy for REAL Man to touch with a ten-foot pole. (I say "luckily" because REAL Man couldn't kill a lich if his life depended on it, as he proved at that soul contraption with the facets.) REAL Man also paid to free some helpless human slaves being held captive and help them escape.

Saving the game, REAL Man walked into the beholder lair. As I'd feared, without the cheesy cloak of mirroring or any protection spells, multiple beholders made mincemeat of REAL Man and his party. The illithid lair wasn't even an option. So we tried the kuo-toa lair. Dammit, beholders in there too, but these ones went down a lot easier. I'd never really been struck by the difference between elder orbs and ordinary beholders before, but it sure is making a big difference this game. Another rest, this time interrupted by lizardmen, who were easily slaughtered, buying us a night's peace and some healing. Then REAL Man went to take on the kuo-toa prince. Of course, REAL Man wasn't going to do anything cheesy like use "tainted tadpoles" for ANYTHING. "Tainted Tadpoles" sounds like the name of a really bad Europop band from the 80's, for crying out loud! But the kuo-toa prince went down easily enough anyway. Like Greater Wolfweres, the kuo-toa prince's regeneration makes him a real bitch for a solo character, not too bad for four or five good fighters waling on him at once.

REAL Man brought the blood back, and then Phaere asked REAL Man to help her betray the Matron Mother. Then Solaufein showed up and asked him to help him betray Phaere. REAL Man had had enough of these scheming bitches who kept calling him a lowly male, so he went with Solaufein's plan, played it by the book, and walked right out of the city. Hah!

Next session: back into the light.

 

Lerrahud sleeps more easily tonight knowing that REAL Man is out of that matriarchal society of scheming, slimy wenches! 8-)

Hang in there... the toughest is yet to come insome ways... I have a feeling that REAL Man may have just as much "fun" as Lerrahud anticipates having (but Lerrahud's God does not) when (if?) he faces off against Irenicus in the trees.

Looking forward to reading more.

 

I genuinely do not think REAL Man has a *prayer* against Irenicus in the second battle. He won't even let Imoen cast Time Stop, for Pete's sake. He's a dead man walking. But I'll try my best.

REAL Man has now left the Underdark. Gave the eggs back to Adalon, accepted the wads of XP for it, helped her kill the last drow war party, and made his way to the surface. The fight in the drow camp, the one with weird crucified people around it, was very tough, but REAL Man pushed on. Got to the surface, had a long conversation with some annoying elves, and saved the game for the night.

In the Underdark, REAL Man skipped several notable quests and all their attendant XP/loot, namely: 1) retrieving the svirfneblin son 2) freeing/killing all the other people in that soul prison including the lich 3) the beholder lair 4) the whole illithid area including freeing the slaves and the githyanki-silver sword subplot 5) the whole Jarlaxle/house Jaellat quest 6) the demon knights. All of these were skipped because I couldn't win those fights with REAL Man's code of ethics and it was possible to avoid the fights without cheating.

Further bulletins as events warrant.

 

Well REAL Man should make it now. Is scouting wíth a thief considered cheese?

 

Not per se, but hiding in shadows and using invisibility are considered cheese, so I don't know how Imoen *could* scout effectively. I've got her detecting/disarming traps, though, and it's a relief to have somebody competent doing that for once. Nalia kept missing traps, and Viconia could find them but not disarm them.

Getting back to Athkatla, REAL Man took his party out for a beer while I looked over the list of things he hasn't yet done. Umar Hills, Windspear Hills, the Planar Prison, the Planar Sphere, three liches, the party in the guarded compound, and the Twisted Rune. Also the Limited Wish quest, but that quest is far too cheesy for REAL Man. Same for Jan's personal quest, by far the lamest quest in the game. Mazzy has a couple of personal quests, but they take a long time of having her actually in the party to trigger, so those aren't going to happen. REAL Man's saga is starting to wind down now.

Before we started in on it, though, we went to the stronghold to see if anything was waiting for us to take care of there. Sure enough, Nalia's majordomo had another decision for REAL Man to make, whether to take the priest of Tempus on as castle chaplain. Well, that was a no-brainer. The priest was a real man if REAL Man ever saw one. I'm starting to realize that what with REAL Man's code about not sleeping if he can ever avoid it, these keep quests are never going to get finished. There are another five gameweeks worth of events there, and REAL Man's spent less than four on everything to date, so I doubt it'll take him more than one or two to finish up in Athkatla. Oh, well, it'll be no great loss.

REAL Man headed to the Guarded Compound, where the evil slavers were dispatched and a whole lot of cheese-ass equipment left rotting on the ground, most notably Celestial Fury. This party was easier than I was expecting. They're very tough, but they don't take any cheesiness to kill. Then we went to Umar Hills. Learning about the mysterious deaths in the area, REAL Man's first instinct was to go to the Bridge District, since that is where all murderers in Athkatla live, but he agreed to check out the mayor's leads first. The ogres wanted to make an alliance with the villagers, so it wasn't them. Next on the list of suspects were the wolves. Before going to investigate that, though, REAL Man wandered around town to see if there were any local problems he could help with. He went into the local cave and killed some monsters, bought some beer and swords for some boys who wanted to be REAL Men, and solved a local wizard's problem with a golem. Then he went to the wolf cave, only to find that the wolves had (according to the lone surviving werewolf) been killed and turned undead by a Shade Lord in the nearby temple ruins. The party went with her to the ruins. She died in the ensuing battle with the shades, but REAL Man's party did not.

I am not fond of this Shade Lord dungeon. It involves a lot of retracing steps and walking people carefully one by one through areas of fire pits or exploding letters. I used the advantage of having committed Amaunator's stupid rituals to memory by now to avoid having to run back and forth into the big stone head room, at least. REAL Man did not take Mazzy into the party. He was nervous she might be a little girl after what happened with Aerie, and besides, his party was working pretty well the way it was. He did free Mazzy and point her home, of course. Much hacking and slashing later, we arrived in the Shadow Dragon's lair.

I should mention that REAL Man dropped the shadow dragon's wardstone on the floor. It conferred invisibility and was therefore cheesy. This caused a vast headache as REAL Man for some reason could not get through the door to the lair. I don't know if the wardstone was also supposed to provide access to that room, or if this is a bug. Anyway, REAL Man went back and got the damn thing, then opened dialogue with the shadow dragon himself to dispel the invisibility.

Well, it killed him. This was a long, close fight, so I think if I regroup and try again a couple times I will probably be able to persevere. I'm out of playing time for now, so I'll try again tonight.

Further bulletins as events warrant,
L

 

I think that wardstone actually opens the door...

OTOH, REAL Man's party certainly has me entranced with its method of dealing with life in general. Finding that cleric a "real man if ever he saw one", though, has me curious about what it was in the dialogue that gave you that impression. I always thought this guy was a lseaze of the worst kind - considering the accusations of why he had been dismissed from his previous post. But, your game, your interpretation - and I was curious why you read it the way you did.


Go for it. and Good Luck!

 

He said "Me name be so-and-so, cleric of Tempus, God of Battles! Har!" That endeared him to REAL Man well enough. (-: I always got the impression he was thrown out of his last post for being a hard-drinking, straight-talking sunofabitch, not a sleaze, per se. But it's all in the interpretation. He struck REAL Man as a good drinking buddy.

Okay, REAL Man killed the Shadow Dragon. Viconia cast Negative Plane Protection on him (after combat had begun, of course,) and he and Jaheira eventually hacked it to death. Imoen and Anomen died again. The party rested so that the dead could be raised and the sucked levels restored, and then went upstairs to kill the shade lord and his altar. The sun stone is an insta-kill weapon and hence cheese, so they had to hack the altar to death by hand. This time Minsc died. I probably shouldn't have tried to send him one-on-one to keep the Shade Lord busy while the rest of the party killed the altar.

Anyway, no reloads necessary, Viconia raised Minsc and we all went back to town for our just rewards. Unfortunately, along the way, Vicky's yochlol attacked her. Killed us. Reload. This time REAL Man slept the party first, but when he did that, Jaheira ran off to the Harper Hold. Oh, for crying out loud! The party was never going to win a tough fight without its Iron Woman, so another reload, used up all our healing potions getting into better fighting condition, let Immie cast some more stoneskins, and waited. This time we killed the yochlol. Whew! I swear, I don't remember this ever being an even vaguely challenging fight before. Rest the party, talk to the mayor, rescue the stupid drunk kids, and then back to the docks to retrieve Jaheira.

Next I think REAL Man's going to attempt the Planar Prison.

 

Interesting fight. You seem to have more problem keeping Imoen alive than I usually do - or maybe it's just a reader's perception or a function of the "real man tactic restrictions. She usually survives pretty well for me, even in dragon fights.

Keep it up. "We're listening."

 

I've never had so many party deaths before. Battles drag on longer for REAL Man than they do for teams using prep spells and basic tactics (I think "improved haste" may be the one I miss most), and that gives the baddies time to whittle the team down. Imoen doesn't have too many hitpoints and is a frequent victim, but Anomen in the front line gets cut down a lot too. The only one who doesn't die very often is Jaheira, who has both ironskins *and* an ungodly low AC.

All right, REAL Man can't beat the Planar Prison. The Master of Thralls spanks his ass every time. I'm open to suggestions, as long as they don't involve cheese, of course.

Reloading the game from *before* we went into that godforsaken place (to rescue a bunch of double-crossing pansies--low on REAL Man's priority list anyway), the party went back to the Umar Hills to visit Valygar. Anomen went back to the Copper Coronet for some shore leave while Valygar accompanied REAL Man and crew to the Planar Sphere. The first part of this went well enough, though those radioactive halflings are a real bear for anyone. Killed Tolgerias, but needed to rest. Then we went into the golem room. Oh, hell, did that hurt. REAL Man doesn't have that cheesy Crom Faeyr, and he can't use any of the standard golem exploits. Running around them to put the heart in the right place would probably work, but is against REAL Man's ethos. Killing one, running away, and resting, then coming back for more: same. I finally won this fight by stretching REAL Man's belief system a little. After a few reloads, he killed all the golems IN SIGHT. So I just pretended he didn't see any more and let his party rest, heal, and resurrect Valygar before exploring the area further and, surprise, running into the rest. Hey, it could happen. Besides, I don't want to spend hours on end in this area when I'm not at all sure REAL Man's capable of killing the lich in the first place.

Next session, killing Lavok, or, well, trying to.

 

Probably the best anti-golem tactic that I ever developed or discovered was Melf's Magic Meteors. With a fighter up front, or alternatively a summoned "cushion", the meteors just rain down on the golem and he eventually dies from the repeated impacts.

This would have to be slghtly modified for REAL Man, of course. Still, if you have 2 meteor throwers, it is amzing how quickly the golems go down.

So, would it be "cheese" for one of your mages to "carry around" a MMM that has already been cast? I might be able to see it as "this is his/her preferred weapon" as it takes up both of the mage's weapons slots while you still have MMM's remaining.

Just a thought. Good luck.

[This message has been edited by Kailynne Johanne (edited October 23, 2001).]

 

That's not a bad idea at all, Kailynne. It's a straight damage spell, so it's manly enough. And Imoen will use it eventually, so carrying it around isn't really precognition. I'll give that a try next time.

Killing Lavok didn't go as badly as I thought it would. Only took one reload and no one even died the second time. The team was, however, totally beaten up and completely out of potions. Now we had to go kill demons. REAL Man reluctantly rested the party. We really didn't have a choice. Lavok still looked alive, so out to the surface to kill a demon. This wasn't easy but it wasn't as bad as the Balor, much less bad than that Master of Thralls. REAL Man let Lavok outside and he died peacefully. Quest finished.

Exhausted, the team staggered back to the Copper Coronet, where they retrieved Anomen and parted ways amiably with Valygar. Further bulletins as events warrant...

 

Tactics.. tactics...tactics...
When good tactics work they are not cheesey! 8-) Yet sometimes, I have heard people make claims that they were - and it kind of makes you wonder whether they are just jealous they hadn't thought of it first! (I AM NOT referring to anyone in particular.. just seemed an appropriate comment in this story thread - also provides a bump.)

Congrats and keep it up. Lerrahud avoided the Planar Sphere out of my inability to figure out how to get past Tolgerias (and the demons come to think of it.)

 

Personally, I think a lot of the tricks REAL Man flatly rejects are perfectly sensible, viable combat tactics. In real life, soldiers use tactics. When was the last time you saw some sergeant going "Ok, boys, combat formations are for wusses, so just RUSH EM!" *laugh* But that was the challenge: nothing anyone had ever derided as cheesy on the board. He's living with it pretty well to date. He would have been dead by level 10 solo, though. Six guys beating gracelessly make it six times further than one guy doing it.

Right, so feeling cocky after his defeat of Lavok, REAL Man went to the Bridge District to try to take on the lich there. Big f'in mistake, man. This thing wiped the floor with us. Is Lavok easier than other liches, or did we just get a lucky break that time? Quickly, I abandoned the idea of going on a lich-slaying spree, and turned my attention instead to the last major quest still undone, Windspear Hills.

The first part of this quest was, as usual, mind-numbingly easy. After a lot of boring hacking through orcs, we reached the tomb area. Beguiled by the bosomy tomb raider, REAL Man went in after her books. REAL Man can kill genies, his team just takes a lot of damage in the process. Had to rest in the middle of this. Viconia, by the way, is breaking up with REAL Man. He asked her to stay with the party anyway, hoping he can change her mind later. Samia and her cohorts were a tough fight, but ultimately disposable without reloads. Same with Tazok. REAL Man had to rest again. Maybe we will get more keep quests after all.

Next up: Firkraag.

 

Firkraag, the bane of Lerrahud's existence... Maybe I am just not the best dragonslaying player. I normally have problems with most dragons, even with full parties.

Good luck.