The funny thing that happened to you recently

Remove all ads!

Silvery, maybe you were good - aligned when the romance started?

 

NEVER! Chaotic Neutral maybe

 

Oi! Same here. Shifting towards E, but these terms are flexible.

On topic - I will tell ye a story that amused me, and proved beyond any doubt what a nerd I am ... well, I went shopping today. As I roved out , two Jehovah's Witness ladies approached (we do have a lot of them here in Poland), inquiring about who am I and what are my goals in life... Being mere moments after retrieving Shandalar's cloak, I replied: 'I am Dinklemus Littlelog, and have come in search of the holy groundhog', smiled, and left. The looks on their faces were priceless.

Hm. I wonder when will I have an opportunity to share an anecdote that will not be BG - related.

 

I left my bike standing in the rain yesterday. When I today went home after work I noticed that the chain had gotten rusty over night. And it told me so.

And there I was - sleek and fast - on a screaming bike. One thing for sure: I got a lot of weird looks on my way home today. On the other hand, there was no need to make anybody aware of my approach. First thing I did when I got home was to generously oil my chain and sprockets. Silence already!

 

Should have covered it with a white sheet, dress up like a ghost and scare the living hell out of the elderly and children...

 

I get out of my car in my normally enclosed garage, just getting home from work and picking up my 2 girls from daycare(my actual children, I wasn't "picking up" girls at a daycare you poofs!). I get out of my car inside of hte garage and immediately step in cat-turds. WTF? I don't have an outdoor cat. I do have a squater cat living outside in my wood-pile that just seems to stick around, wonder if my wife or neighbors are still feeding it, they deny doing so. SO I slip the shoe off, leave it in the garage momentarily and get my little ones out of the car and inside. I do have an indoor cat. I walk thru the kitchen, both girls in my arms, my little starts a wailing and gains my attention. So, preoccupied as I am, I turn the corner and step in cat-turds with my other foot. Really now?? WTF - MANNNN!!!! Our indoor cat is old and apparently left a little present on the rug for us. Lucky fella that I am, I discovered it 1st! I think Happy Wok is going to get some free "meat" for their menu this week, courtesy of Blades. I don't hate animals, but lately I am getting really tired of them.

 

Well... trap sprung!

 

You know, that never crossed my mind but next time you mention about picking up "your girls", I'll consider you mean "girls".

 

Rob had to sit through a talk at college yesterday about the other course avaliable for study. The guy doing the talk mentioned Egyptology. A girl in the back of the room (with so much make-up on that if she turned around too quickly her face would have ended up on the back of her head) piped up with 'Is dat like lookin' at da pyramids an' dat?'
The lecturer just sighed and agreed. Rob said he caught up with the guy later in the day and asked him if that sort of thing happened often. The mans reply was, simply 'You'd be amazed...'

 

Yesterday on my way back home after work I encountered another biker on his way home. The guy was wearing a shirt, slipover, helmet and was riding his 4 digit priced mountain bike, steering with his thumbs rested on the handlebar. I immediately didn't like him, and sine I wanted to spare me the sight of the spectacle, I overtook him. Uphill, free handed, on my ragged old touring bike.

That must have made him really mad, since he struggled to overtake me for the next mile. In vain That was fun

 

I have been calling literally dozens of people lately, trying to find a flat/room for rent. One of the potential landladies picked up faster than I expected, not giving me enough time to switch youtube off. I have been listening to Il Barbiere di Siviglia (the very beginning)...

Landlady: Yes, who is this?
Youtube: FIIIIIGAAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOO!
Landlady: Whaaaaaa?

 

My boss had 60 breeze blocks delivered to build a small wall, me and a collegue thought it'd be funny to rob one of the blocks as he was carrying them in and hide it, waiting for his reaction to one of them disappearing, however we got no reaction... cos the company had infact delivered 61 blocks....

 

Haaha, Shoshino, a prank that failed in a way which could almost be described as some higher power's metaprank? Epic.

Content may be disturbing to some readers:

Spoiler

I am currently looking for a legal job. A few days back I set out to the city, intending to buy some newspapers with employment ads in them. The lady at the newsagent's misunderstood my request for a gazette called 'Contacts', and sold me a paper of the same name, full of matrimonial ads. This alone is moderately funny, however, curious about the kinds of people who would look for marriage in such a way, I started to read:

'A well-mannered, calm, 50+ bachelor looking for a mature and non-smoking woman with children. PS: I have no hands.

Yeeeah. Purely marginal, is it not?

Oh, and another anecdote. Did not technically happen to me, but still:

I have been shopping at a drugstore when two men came in. An archetypal gay couple: the tall dark one extremely manly, the shorter and fairer one effeminate and wearing pink. The latter approaches the clerk and inquires (in a really ear-piercing falsetto, to boot) about a face cream for men. The clerk looks for a second, and (probably upon realizing that they do not have such things, but still wanting to sell something) says: 'Well, but you could use the one for women, too!' After a brief, uncomfortable silence she turned bright red, and the men stormed out of the store.

 

Well... okay. This one is almost as absurd as it gets, hence I am not actually expecting anyone to believe this:

Some of you may have seen my comment on the hotel balconies in the Random Babbling Thread. As I said, these places have much potential: the platform goes through the entire storey, and - since there are no gaps or rails - one can not only go on a lengthy walk there, but also look into other guests' windows, scaring the hell out of some.

That, however, was not what I decided to do. You see, behind the horizontal balustrade (1.30 meters high and, obviously, as long as the balcony) was a ledge. Pretty solid, about a foot wide... and circa twenty meters above the ground. I thought a stroll up and down it would prove a nice thrill. Well, audaces fortuna iuvat. Kicked my shoes off, stepped over the balustrade et voila - I was on the other side, being a slightly drunk, utter idiot.

I did not expect anyone to see (it was 3 AM, after all). 'Twas all fun and games until the windows across the street opened, and a man stuck his head out, smoking a cigarette. Apparently, he thought I was suicidal, and started persuading something I could not hear very well. In a minute or so, his wife joined him and started yelling too. Not wanting them to call the police or anything, I exclaimed: 'I JUST WENT OUT FOR A CIIIIIIG!' as loudly as I could, trying my best to look as cheerful as possible. After the most awkward five minutes of my life, I bid them good night and went back to my room.

Idiocy, thy name is Runescarred.

 

Next time you do that... take some pictures for proof.

 

'Pics or it didn't happen', eh? Then again, I would hardly be the first person to buy a camera exactly for the purpose of spreading my idiocy all over the Internet .

 

That's what they're for!

Last week a letter came from the school to tell us that the kids in the nursery were having a 'spooky day' on the 22nd. Children were asked to come to school in a costume and were going to have a day of games and baking (all spooky, apparently). However, Parents were reminded that, as it is a Church of England school, they will not be celebrating Halloween.

I was telling my sister about it today while we were driving to town and we decided that the church have told the school that they aren't allowed to celebrate Halloween and the teachers have decided that the kids are going to have a fun day.
As we got out the car, my sister said 'Yeah, the teachers are obviously thinking UP YOURS JESUS!'. The looks we got in the car park were priceless. I felt the need to explain to everyone.

I also had two blonde moments in Comet today

The first: I was having trouble hearing the guy in the shop and asked him if they had a loop system I could link my hearing aid to. He said yes but it only worked at one checkout. I wasn't going to move all my stuff so I took my hearing aid out to turn the volume up. As I took it out, the music in the shop got louder. I turned to my sister and said 'Oh my God, I can hear!'. Amy burst out laughing and told me the volume had just been turned up. The poor bloke serving us didn't know what to say.

Second moment was also while I was being served. The guy serving us was wearing a badge saying
'Ask
me
about
Andy'.
Me being the dummy that I am assumed that 'Andy' was the name of a product so I asked him what it was. It never occured to me that it was his name

 

My (female) superior jot an e-mail from an Indian subcontractor today which read at one point:

Which apparently was meant to read like SOW (i.e. scope of work). She was irritated and confused upon reading it - as a peculiarly formal insult. I was very amused.

 

A couple of days back I was aiding a 53 years old man who's in a wheelchair. As I pushed him through the streets, he remarked that there are always some lunatics who think he's either hearing impaired or too simple-minded to be able to communicate at all, just because he's in a wheelchair, adding: "You'd think they believe your legs are just fine, but lost your wits or tongue and hearing aid. Damnit!"
A few moment later a woman ran into us. We both know her, but not that well. She started talking to me and asked me how he was doing. "Why don't you ask him?" I replied. And that's what she did, a bit loud:
"How.. Are.. You.. Doing... Mr De Witt?"
To which he shouted in return: "GREAT! I JUST WON THE 400 METERS HURDLING AND NOW WE'RE HAVING CAKE! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT? CAKE!!"
It was really tough to get around the corner of the street without both crying out in laughter.