Things I Learned From Playing Video Games

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-In the entire universe of life, there are only certain beings you can kill, the rest you will never get a chance to slay as there isn't an option.

-Occasionally, life suddenly stops, restarts, and you have to pick up where you last recorded your progress (just like morrowind)

-Whether close to death or not, if you engage in converation, you sound perfectly fine

 

If you encounter marble floor and want to remain silent, you cannot take off your shoes and must use magic to make fungus grow all over the floor.

 

You will have at least three things to say to every single person on earth, and one of them will be very, very rude.

And every single person in the world either has meaningless babble for you (Sigh... times are tough.) or unusually useful quest info. (I saw a strange monster enter the Cave of Zarkoth. The Cave of Zarkoth is to the north.)

Your best friend will either stick with you to the end, or become the second most powerful evil being on the planet.

Despite the fact that you are the only person who can save the world from a fiery apocalypse, vendors will still make you pay full price for goods and services. ("Look! If we don't get this antidote, the Chosen One will die, and the shadow will consume us all!" "Got 50 gp? No? Then beat it.")

If you are the Chosen One who will save the world, you only live with one parent. If you live with mom, your dad was a famous swordsman who died fighting the Evil Overlord. If you live with dad, mom either died of an illness just after you were born, or sacrificed herself to save you as a child.

Despite the fact that the world has technological marvels, robots, heavy artillery, and plasma cannon-wielding starships, there will be at least one person (usually you) in the group who uses a sword. And it will do as much damage to a titanium robot as a machine gun. (Best applies to Septerra Core.)

You could ressurect everyone who ever died if you captured a molting Phoenix.

If you get shot in the face, you won't die or even have any long-term problems as long as your HP doesn't reach 0.

You WILL fall in love with the first member of the opposite sex to join the party. Most often they were your childhood friend, but you were too dense to realize their feelings.

Said lover will inevitably be kidnapped the very same night you realize your love, and you will rescue them, causing massive amounts of french kissing, and a fade to black, if you get my meaning.

 

@Platter: I liked the thief comment.

Can't remember if these have been said before:

If you are inexperienced in using a sword, you are only able to hit an enemy about 1 in 10 swings, despite the fact they are a huge target for a sword. Why not hit them every swing but do only a little damage?! (IE games)

You aren't able to use a weapon if your class dictates that you cannot. Surely it wouldn't kill you if you did use it. (IE games)

Unless you are seen, enemies wander about muttering about hearing something, then they go back to their business. (Thief)

You can crawl around while hidden in a box. The enemy will see a moving box, you stay still, they run up to it and say, "Oh, just a box!" And do this repeatedly until you get to the other end of a room. (Metal Gear Solid)

 

Grown men falling on cobblestones, wooden crates being thrown about and even swordfighting all sound like rats to a bored guard at a distance. When I saw the rat-monsters in Thief that were man sized and carried swords I had a good laugh - those must have been the rats they were on about.

When a light is mysteriously turned off, or a torch is extinguished everbody just grouses about it and doesn't turn it back on. Possibly because torches can only be lit with explosive arrows.

A man wearing leather armour on his chest can often shrug off a shotgun blast to the face, but is floored by a single punch from a high-level character. (Fallout)

And then there's all the history I learned from Civ....

 

From Oni (doubt anyone has played it but it's pretty damm cool) -
On the first level (after training) when you first encounter a non-enemy person being attacked by an enemy and you slay the enemy your helpful robot voice with neural link to you informs you -

"Be careful! If you beat up innocent people they won't want to talk to you"

Wow i never knew that before

 

There is always someone providing comic relief of some kind, wheth or not they always do it is a different matter.

 

There's always someone who can foretell the future who will guide you in saving the world.

There's always someone who knows a great deal of the past, including the history of the land.

Those two people is usually the same person. He/she is also a high priority target for the big bad guy, and may die despite your heroic efforts.