Things NPC's Would Never Say...

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Valygar: "Yo, what up niggaz, I got me-self a brand new lowridah, is my hairstyle cool, admit it, it kicks ass, dude, when we'll go in a brothel, homie <CHARNAME>?"

Minsc: "We have to be quiet and careful."

Shar-Teel: "Honey, I love you with all my heart."

Anomen: "By Talos!"

Elminster: "I will leave you alone."

Korgan: "Pretty please, don't harm the trees."

 

Cernd - Druid screwit and while we're at it let's stuff the trees.

Mazzy - And like all the action figures I can talk and you may comb my hair.

Bodhi - Hello, I'm Bodhi and I'm a vampire (AA: "Hello, Bodhi.")

Aerie (to Sarevok) - Y-you know Saffy, actually I-I do er, fancy big Bhaal boys with deep throaty voices, shining eyes and huge armor...

Imoen - Hey, nice slayer change. Lemme try.

Irenicus - Let's all be friends and hug a tree.

Viconia - I adore Britney Spears.

 

Balthazar singing: "Everybody was kung-fu fighting..."

 

Lady Delcia Caan: Welcome, sir <charname>. Glad you have come. //to a pally PC

 

Minsc -
Boo go for the balls!! Auuww!! You hairy piece of ***** *********** ********* ****** his balls!! his balls!!

 

Mazzy:

I wish she would sing the Munchkin song from the Wizard of Oz.

Minsc:

"Boo! Stop chewing on my spell book!"

Or

"Let me identify this item with my incredible Lore ability."

 

Oh, this is funny, I gotta try one, so forgive me if it's lame.

Sarevok: "You know, <CHARNAME>, I really do love you, man!"

Anomen: "I remember that time drinking with my dad..."

Valgyar: "S'up, playa?"

 

Minsc: "My balogna has a first name..."

Minsc: <standing on scale with Boo>"320 pounds! My driver's license says I weigh 140 pounds. That means you weigh 180 pounds! You're not miniature any more!"

Anomen: "Let's go to the brothel. I want to check out the babes."

 

Aeirie (the-good-alignment-loving-one) - I've notice your being a paladin, charname. Champion of good and sworn to light, bringer of hope to the needy, shelter of the oppressed, hero to masses

 

Whoooo is the man? "Valygar!" Can ya dig it?

He's a mean mutha- "Shut yo' mouth!" I'm just talkin' 'bout Valygar...

My humblest apologies.

 

I'm lame, oh well.

Jaheria to Cernd "stop being such a damned cry baby tree-hugger"

 

Aerie: Would you mind helping me with that button at the back? Oh, and the next one too, please.

Viconia: Of course I'm a virgin. I'm chaste like white dove.

Jaheira: I need you, Charname

Keldorn: I'm here to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And I'm outta gum.

Korgan: Father I want to confess and receive absolution.

 

Jahiera- You know, Charname, I have absolutely no opinion on this matter, and I do not wish to get involved with your personal life.

Minsc- Perhaps it is time for a smaller blade, this one is a mite to heavy for me.

Minsc- I refuse to run this matter through my hamster, I am sick of his constant squeaking.

Whoo, 250th post, man Im cool.....

*Enthasius runs and hides in his pitiful hole and calms down instantly, realising it is nothing to have posted 250 messages. He also realises if he didn't post 250 messages, he could have done something with his life, like invent an electric back scratcher, or paint a painting worth more than £5, or improved some orphans life by singing an extremly witty tune, if he had a better singing voice*

Ahem, I apoligise for this random outburst. I hope it didn't spoil you morning, afternoon, evening, day or night, thank you

[ December 18, 2002, 22:32: Message edited by: Enthasius ]

 

Korgan: Really, I'm a nice dwarf.

Hendak: Let's sell some children for money.

Aerie: I hate the thought that I had wings.

Galvarey: I never pre-judge people.

Minsc: I DON'T want to be famous, I DON'T want my hamster, all I want is to be a WIZARD and use my outstanding mental capabilities.

 

Aerie: Yeah I no longer have Wing!

Sarevok: My impatience grow let's help someone!

Sarevok: Hey, Charname, Do you still have that +1 protection ring I gave you in CandleKeep?

Drizzt (I know he's not in TOB but still,) Lolth RULES!!!

Anomen: I'm gay I want a leather armour!!!

Korgan: wait! my axe is too dirty!

Jaheira: I never realy loved Khalid

Irenicus: So you escape God child I'm more stupid Than I have though

Imoen: I wonder if my name will fits as Goddes of Murder?

Minsc: Err, Charname your talking to a SQUIREL!!!

Minsc: This time we have better chance of victory if we plan our attack instead of blindly charge with Big sword.

Minsc: I hit to no effect? I need a smaller Blade!

Minsc: I point you hit

Jan: *I* hate turnip

Gromnir: Hey everybody Peace! Love! let's play the Fearum Clue! I accuse Elminster in the spine of the world with the Vorpal sword...

PC: May the hand on the mouse, err the God be with you

Solar: SHUT UP and choose! that isn't a though choice you take the evil power or you don't take it...

Cespenar: yeah, yeah give me a break!

Sarevok: Feel my Holy Healing

PC: Hey you! Behind the screen what exactly are you? Voice behind the screen: hummm I'm a Dual Classed Shut yer mounth and do what I say/ the one who control you, Human with 152% in quit the game 500% in killing you, 100% make you stupid thing, my aligment is behind compreation for a sprites like yourself.

Aerie: Hey charname! make me un-virgin!!!!!!

Edwin: Yes master (without sarcasm in his voice)

Keldorn: Viconia I love you!

Abazigal: hey look I'm a dragon isn't that cool!

Abazigal: huuum My son your new name will be
Mini-dragon-me

Mellisan: Get yer weapon ready! let's kill ALL bhaalspawn!! (When the PC doesn't know she's evil)

Volo: huumm even Reader digest don't want my lecture!!!!

Balthazar: I Love Bhaal!! Look I'm a Slayer Monk

Yuga Shura: Oh escuse me....

Gorion: you know I was their when your mother was rapped by Bhaal, I didn't think he has a so small
****

Pc's child: Hey Daddy tell us of your story again!
Pc: okay, I was in candlekeep Gorion was dead, I run blindly around the sword cost, killed Uncle Sarevok, and of course Aunt Imoen was with me, After a fool Stole My divine power, I track him kill him on the Nine Hells and finaly I joined with you Uncle to Kill A foolish Priestress and finaly destroid the forces of drakness, no big deal... but the weird thing about it is that they make a video game on it! about 400 hours of gameplay on 11 CD over 3 years just to tell a 5-minutes story!

PC: If I had a strong magical item each time I kill a boss I'll be invincible! hey that exaltly what happen!!! ha ha ha ha!!!!

I thing I have no other to say hey it's my longest Post yeah!!! but hey it's late!!! quick Coffe I have to play CRPG!!

 

Aerie: Vvicconia, ppleae, ccould you ttteach me things?

Viconia: You see... Love is essential. Sex is only an addition

Jaheira: I've never compared you and Khalid

Lucas the paladin (my PC) - I'm too good to be live.

 

I may be not the best one to tell you that...since me make a lot of mistake.
but this should be " I'm too god to be Living"

Jan: No, I don't have any more story to tell you!

Korgan: I made a wonderfull dream, I was with a Dryadd and we *Blocked*

Cernd: Shut up Jaheira you and your "greater balance"


Edwin: Oh No ma Magical power aren't enough to beat him!

Minsc: Go for the peanut Boo! GO FOR THE PEANUT!

Minsc: None shall see me, but boo is still visible

Soldier Of Amn: Magic is Prohibit but since you can afford the pass I'll go blind when you cast a spell

WARNING CATHOLIC!

Bhaltazar: Thing to do: Go to the grocery, Kill Charname, Go to the Disco Club, and finaly Search Melchior and Gaspard and find the Jesus, **** I have only a Reader digest "gold edition" to give him...

WARNING NO MORE CATHOLIC

Keldorn: Enoug with my Duty! I just want to stay home and watch the news!!!!

 

Keldorn to Viconia:
-Hey Viccy are you free tonight?
-Sure,Kel
-Would you,then,by any chance like to have dinner with me?
-Oh! I'd love to! (smiles)

Drizzt to PC
Na-na-na-na-na
You know that if you kill us,not only will you lose reputation and become evil but YOU CANT EVEN KEEP OUR ITEMS!
heheheheh
Na-na-na-na-na

Saemon:
Hey gith**** that sword is mine!
or
Hey Charname,you thought you killed me on that ship? heheh

Gith:
Well you can keep the Vorpal if you want..its only a stupid sword afterall.
or
we dont really hate the illithid..its just a misunderstanding

 

Thanks DM for careful reading

It's an adjective. Like 'live tiger', 'live earl' and so on... It's oldish, I know. So am I. Thanks anyway.