What are your best comebacks?

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That's what my brother says. "Because I love you."
Once some guy on my bus told me I was really ugly so I asked him if I was that ugly, why was he looking at me? That shut him up And I can't believe it!!!! NOBODY mentioned the famous "So?" comeback!!!

 

Liar, liar, pants on fire.

So, so, suck your toe all the way to Mexico. (Less useful on Texans)

What you say is what you are; you're a naked movie star.

 

Just say:

At least my underwear IS clean!

And if they reply whit: So and mine isnt? Or mine is clean to! Just say:

Yeah, but you're stupid!

If they say o yeah? Then say,

Yeah and I was your father if your mother wasn't that expensive!

OR:

You suck but not as good as your Momma!

 

The best one that I have ever had is when anoter kid in my class started describing me as Ugly/disgusting/horrible/putridetc. and I replied "Stop describing what you see in that mirror".Anyway, F**k off/you work's anytime.The best comebacks are actually when you reply to something like this.

(A kid braging in English Class)"I'm so smart my parents have sent me too Italian and Spanish lessons."
(The best thing too do is insult them along the lines of.....)"Un que suprise.Me tampien!!!(What a suprise.Me too!!!).
They ussualy dont understand what the hell you're saying and they shut up.

Also replying in another language work's like a charm.
Insult:You are a complete dumb @$$!!!
Reply:"Do bin ein @$$hloch!!(You're an @sshole!!!)
They will ussualy sit their trying to figure outwhat you said, or the will go away furious.


Greek has many good replies.So does French.So try to learn other languadges than the one's you're mates know and then you can reply very nicely.

[This message has been edited by Padine the Paladin (edited July 24, 2002).]

 

I'm paying for stuff at the convenience store and one of the three teenagers behind me sticks a half eaten candy bar in my face and says: "You want a bite?"

I reply: "No thanks dude."

He says: "Hey, the old guy said dude."

I reply: "Just because I have pubic hair doesn't mean I'm old."

His friends laughed in his face.

 

Anyone annoyes me, "Not an ice cubes chance in Hell"

I love that image. A little ice cube in the middle of a pit of fire, sweating his ass off.

 

Isn't it:"A snowball's chance in hell"

But the idea makes he laught like a mad man.

 

I perfer my version, but either is good

 

I always use "What are you" or "What do you lick" before their done insulting me and It always shuts them up

 

Here's a come back I thought of in the shower or all places!

"Speek of yourself before you speek of others"
or...

"You speek of your self as if I'm not here."

"Speeking of your mother in that tone? Why? Dont you love your mother?"

 

My favourite is, "Ya know what. I was 10 cents away from being your father"

 

Insult: Hey, you suck
Reply: your mom (as soon as s/he finishes) or Hey, I'm not your mom.

Insult: I hear your mom's free tonight
Reply: Heh, she's still more expensive than your mom.

That's all I can think of for now.

 

Well, in my class some people often say things along the lines of "Why are you playing stupid?" And I answer: "Because I didn't want you to feel alone..." I find it quite funny...

One thing I've always been good at, is insulting people... YOu wouldn't believe how many times I've had to talk out of a fight...

 

Insult: 'The Finger'
Reply: "Go sit on it and spin"

Insult: "you're a pussy"
Reply: "I am what I eat"
Insult: "So your saying you're a dick?"
Reply: "No, I said 'I' am what 'I' eat. Not 'I' am what 'YOU' eat!

Insult: "You're a nerd/geek"
Reply: "You won't be saying that when you are working for me in a few years!"

Insult: "You're gay"
Reply: "Thats not what my girl friend/wife/your mom/your girl friend was saying last night while we were having sex!"

I've gotten all these insults at some point in my life, and the replies always work!