What is the funniest thing you've encountered?

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i was looking at some screenshots and found one of malavon DESPANA.
Despana is the house in Ust Natha that stole the slver dragons eggs.
Malavon and Phaere are related, cute huh?

 

I just started a new game with an evil party and while most of the dialogue options are the same I have (playing evil) found some that were funny.

For example, if you badger Ennelia (the female ranger outside the horde fortress) about her and Braston's experiences outside the fortress and then reply that she is "pathetic" she will tell you something like:

"I don't like you, but I am willing to help you."

To which you can reply, "What? Like you helped your boyfriend?"

This apparently ticks her off since she attacks you after that... Oh well, my rogue introduced her to Letto's Scar and she gavee up a longsword +1 and some studded leather +1. Maybe I'll get some good dialogues with Braston as well and he will meet his maker before leaving the fortress.

 

In Chapter 5, Dragon's Eye level 4, the Troll tells you:
"Go impale yourself, dung-sniffer".
LMAO

 

By far, the most ridiculous thing I have found is a sword found in the Mudmaster Dale KeeperII cheat program. It is called "Armageddon's Blade 2002" Why is it ridiculous?? It makes Heart of Fury Mode EASY. It is a +5 longsword, does 2d20 fire damage and then 20d20 slashing damage, with a good critical threat range. I wasn't sure exactly what it was when I equipped it, and I ended up giving my guy ONE IN EACH HAND. Talk about carnage!!

 

Upidstay, check out the Armageddon's chainmail they have as well. Both items are also in the DaleKeeper2 beta version...

Another interesting thing, not really funny-well some of it is, is the dialogue options different clerics receive. For example in the Prologue inside the palisade you can speak to 2 different groups of fighters to bless or inspire them. Typically my paladin or cleric of Lathander would speak and the options were so so. My new party lead by a Banite got some serious different options. Basically, my guy said you may be afraid of fighting goblins, but you better be more afraid of what Bane will do to you if you don't fight. How inspirational...

Another good set of dialogue came when speaking to the Aurilites in Andora. I basically told them that Auril was a weak goddess and they were weak for worshipping her. If they wanted to see true power, I would be glad to demonstrate by tearing their village apart and raising all their corpses to serve Bane's will! Let me tell you, that's a great way to make friends.

I wonder (anyone pipe up if you know) what types of dialogue options a Banite priest might get when speaking to priests of Bane or Xvim???

[ November 08, 2002, 20:19: Message edited by: Grey Ghost ]

 

I found the "I'm a rock" guy in the Severed Hand hilarious. Even more so when I asked Puddy about him...PC-"What's up with your cellmate?" (Or some such) and Puddy says "He's a rock." It's very funny at 12:30 am.

 

The one got me ROFLAL was the HOW sorceress 12th click "Does this robe make me look fat?"

 

Remember the doppleganger in the Temple Pavillion, that is asking for his love called Raina?

Well, I made a character called Raina and had her speak to the doppleganger. It says Raina is that you?

I say, Yes it is I Raina. And I'm not even lying!

Then the doppleganger says thanks for humouring me.

I killed the bastard for calling me a liar.

I was sort of hoping that it would do to me something like in BG2 when you have a male elf called Drizzt and he attacks you for stealing his name...

 

I like when you click on those groups of kegs, and it says "These kegs have obviously been roped off to stop them from attacking you- They look at you threateningly" (or something like that)

 

When my sorceress with a Charisma in the 20's and lots of dialog skills reported sucess to Tavo the Huntsmaster in the Wandering Villiage, he complemented her on her bravery and skill, and a dialogue option came up for her:

"You forgot to mention incredibly beautiful!"

 

I like my Paladin of Mystra's new strong dude - her own Golem I always wanted something like that in BG-2

"RETURN TO MASTER!", "I NEED MAINTENANCE!"

 

Yeah, I loved that golem too! When my sorcerer (his master) got hurt he shouted:
"MASTER NEED MAINTENANCE!!"

Took great care of him as well! The thing was getting hurt quicker than any in my party! LOL And no cleric healing spell could heal him (didn't try Heal cause I didn't have it memorized), but I discovered only my Paladin could heal him.

Anyway, other funnies:

The Barbarian says, after you click on him several times:
"I can make DUNG bigger than you!"

One last one:

Remember that Aasimar rogue, Nheero's partner who was supposed to find the Mandrake Root, but dies in that passage with the huge rolling rock (ball) à la Indiana Jones? He takes you to see where the root is, then back to the passage where he tells you how he died:

"Here I stop... Ball no stop..."



[ November 19, 2002, 05:07: Message edited by: Quint ]

 

In the prologue near where the people are that talk about the dead cat in your inventory there is a fire they are huddled round - click on the fire and you get "You know, you haven't seen many dogs around town"

 

When in the Severed Hand, in the cleric's tower you will find the Xvimians having their "church" service. One of the congregation, Jezebel Quice by name, when spoken to with a female character says this,

"Well, now someone's a bit eager for my services. I must tell ye up front that I normally charge double for girls, but for you I'd make an exception. Catch me after the services and we'll see what we can work out."

 

Books that give you experience(in Monastery) is really funny.But the dead cat is superb." I heard carrying a dead cat in north brings luck"

 

I found the guardsmen in targos really funny after you break their barrel.

"Should we like, attack the air now?"

 

When you talk to the targos shopkeeper after the fortress, or maybe just the palisade, and follow through the whatever will he have me do next dialogue route you can say something like "Whatever next? Going to the abyss with nothing but a loincloth and a knife?" a nice PST reference.

 

One of them was in Kuldahar while defending the city with Iselore. After defeating the fourth wave, I was waiting for the fifth party of monsters. The first one to see them was my dwarf barbarian and he said: "No, not again! I am bored."

 

if you let your party just stand around and do nothing, you get some pretty funny remarks from the party members.

 

another warcraft reference: some of the orc slaves in the duergar fort will occaisionally say "Zug Zug"

also while talking to the mercenaries about the cat and the fed-ex missions you can remark something to the effect of "If i wanted 5 gold i'd pull it out of my butt." The guy replies, "... Well, i'll be sure not to borrow money from you."