Worst films you have ever seen

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Wing Commander is not that bad. It does have few things in common with the games, but as a movie it is mediocre.

Though I missed Malcom McDowell as Tolwyn and the real Rapiers, the 'Das Boot' rip off scenes with Jurgen Prochnow were funny, and the CGI wasn't bad either.

 

US movies that deal with Irish politics (especially if they are starring Harrison Ford).

Titanic - why is this voted one of the greatest movies of all time? Probably because it was expensive...

Braveheart - Mad Mel needs to read up on his history.

Scream franchise (and similar) - worst horror's ever.

Battle Royale 2 - bland characters

Meat Market - one man, a few of his friends and a camcorder...

Wedding Crashers - tacky and unfunny

 

In no particular order (because ranking crap is futile & depressing):

Ghost Dog - Way of the Samurai
Clearly, they were trying to make an artsy, Luc Besson style action flick translating the ancient Samurai code of honour to the modern day, for instant cool points. Forest Whitaker is so poor and the "action" sequences so unconvincing that it makes all those things desparately uncool.

Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones
Worst. Star Wars. Ever. Hayden Christensen somehow conveys less emotion than Anthony Daniels and Kenny Baker managed strapped in metal suits, whilst all the time the atrocious, atrocious script makes you want to eat your own face to get away. Natalie Portman is lost amidst the tripe, being able to display only a burning desire to hang, draw and quarter her agent for locking her into 3 films without seeing the scripts. Unintentional comedy would have been nice, but Lucas's script can't manage even that. I love the other 5 movies (yes, even TPM) but this was so appallingly bad I couldn't not omit it here. This film also marks the zenith (nadir?) of Lucas's CGI fetish, with not opportunity for incongruous, castoony effects passed up. The final sequences on Geonosis are especially terrible, with the spectacle passing you by because all the computer wizardry utterly fails to get over you suspension of disbelief. The sole highlight is Jango Fett and his hard-ass kiwi accent.

Legally Blonde 2
A friend made me go see this. We don't talk anymore. Dumb, dumb, dumb, with vomit-inducing pink everywhere. Only saving grace is the unintentionally hilarious "Gay Dogs of America" parade.

Death Wish 2
Nasty, horrible, tactless and racist, this film features numerous murders and rapes and makes me glad that Michael Winner gave up directing and became a restaurant critic and insurance company whore.

Howard the Duck
Oh dear. Cigar chomping duck crashlands on planet Earth, to painfully unfunny effect! Disturbing duck-on-girl action and a thoroughly unlikeable lead creature. Executive Producer: George Lucas. Why George? WHY?

 

The Truman Show. It was absolutely abysmal


edit: Oh, and Bruce Almighty was really disappointing. I'm normally a great Jim Carrey fan (Ace Ventura ) but these two were terrible.

 

Kinjite, chose your own rhyming slang.

I haven't been able to watch any of the Jurasic Park films from start to finish. I get very bored and turn off half way through.

 

Let me see - I would vote Forrest Gump but I never managed to watch more than a couple minutes without leaving the room in disgust and proclaiming that the offending party who turned it on was insane.

Of the films where I have actually sat through the entire film my first choice would have to be House of the Dead. I have seen Plan 9 from Outer Space and many other truly pathetic pieces of film making and got quite a chuckle out of them. Not so with House of the Dead, it was just plain unenjoyable garbage.

 

What do you find so bad about Forrest Gump?

 

That he got elected President. Twice.

 

Who did? Forrest Gump? Not in the film he didn't. I have to say I really enjoyed it. I thought it was brilliant.

 

Magpie:

Are you talking about BC or GWB?

 

Dubya. Just a throwaway comment relating to a picture I saw mocked-up ages ago of Tom Hanks as Forrest, but with George W's face. (If I find the link, I'll post it, but no-one hold their breath.) Yes, it's a cheap Bush-is-dumb crack, but I never said I had shame. Jeez.

And there's no way it could be Clinton, who's about as far from the Gump character as you could reasonably get.

In any case (before this thread goes catastrophically off-topic and crash-lands in the AoLS), I'll just say that Forrest Gump is a perfectly reasonable film, if overly saccharine and not worth much of the hype and praise it initially received. Just like 90% of Hollywood's output, come to think of it. But that's not enough to make me hate it, just shrug and go "meh".

 

Hmmm... Failure to Launch sucked big time. Actually, anything with that dimwhit Parker sucks. Bad acting all around...even for a chick flick.

 

Wow!

I don't know what Ghost Dog, Forrest Gump and The Truman Show have to do with bad movies.

Ghost Dog is a brilliant movie by Jim Jarmush, and has nothing to do with an action film at all. It's sad little film about moral values in modern society, and an epitath for the Mafia that only consists of a bunch of old men.

The Truman Show is a superb media satire and a late coming off age story.

I will not write anything about Forrest Gump. The movie stands for itself.

 

Seeing all those movie titles posted here really makes me wonder if there are any differences between "bad" and "worst" at all.

 

Hmmm... Well, Alone in the Dark was pretty bad.

 

5. Sugar & Spice
4. Van Helsing
3. Transporter 2
2. The Ring
1. Anything starring The Wayans Brothers

Just off the top of my head...

 

The worst movie I have ever seen by far is Manos: The Hands of Fate. It was made by a manure salesman in the 1960s because he claimed he could make a successful low-budget horror movie. He completely failed. Not only was it a terrible movie, the editing sucked and their camera didn't even have sound, so they had to go through afterwards and dub all the voices, and they did it terribly. Also, the actors in it were just friends of the director, they had absolutely no acting experience. Those who are into Mystery Science Theater 3000, have probably seen it with the hilarious commentary...I dare those to watch it without it as I have, lol. Oh yeah, after the movie was released, over half the people in the cast killed themselves.

 

Driven. At year 8 camp on the first night, if they caught us talking in the dorms they made us get up and watch it so that we didnt disturb any one else. It was an awful movie.

 

Yeah, but it had Estella Warren in it...so it couldn't have been THAT intolerable.

 

@ Death Rabbit - by that same logic Van Helsing couldn't be that bad because Beckinsale is in it.

Edit: Actually it is kind of funny that Transporter 2 makes it onto your list. I have always kind of associated that film with you because of the Death by Rabbit tattoo that the female goon has.

[ August 08, 2006, 15:05: Message edited by: JSBB ]