Wrestling: Random babbling

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There might still be hope left for TNA. This Thursday's edition was easily the best of 2008, so far.

Cage/Mesias was a great match. Mesias finally gets a match that is more than a squash match, and gets the chance to showcase his technical wrestling skills. I still think it's too early to push Mesias to main eventer, but given enough time, he could easily become a very serious contender to the WHC. And before calling me insane, just take a look at Mesias' title history: 5x IWA Tag Team Champ, 5x IWA World Heavyweight Champ, 8x IWA Hardcore Champ, AAA World Heavyweight Champ, WSX Champ (for what it's worth), and that equals a pretty damn impressive pedigree.

Black Reign/Kaz rat on a pole was... beyond words. Black Reign should be beating the living crap out of random people, not being involved in a feud with a has-been like Kaz, especially not over a rat.

Styles/Tiger Mask was pretty good, thanks to the absence of Squirt Angle and his whore.

Rock & Rave Infection/Stone Cold Sharkboy & Curry Man was an... interesting match. Daniels is as entertaining as ever as Curry Man, and he forms a rather strange tag team with the "new and improved" Shark Boy. And when Christy Hemme grabs a mic, I rush for the zapper and put the TV on Mute.

Seeing Squirt Angle put through a table by Joe is something I'd pay to see again and again and again.

Homicide/Devine pissed me off big time. If the two fat 3D pigs didn't showed their ugly arses in this match, we'd have a TRUE X Champ.

Overall, a well-rounded night.

Now, for the competition.

Palumbo's heel turn is turning out better than I expected. Seeing him beat the crap out of Jamie Noble was immensely funny too, though I think he should have shut that McCool b**** up.

Finlay is turning face, and it's disgusting me. Drop the "Great Protector" angle and get Finlay back as the mean Irish guy who loves to fight. I see a match against McMahon somewhere down the line, or maybe a turn against the midget.

Kane not being included in the Elimination Chamber is stupid. What the hell have the Great Plan B and fata** Viscera done to earn a spot? And what about that idiot MVP? Man, what a stupid lineup.

I would have put Kane, Undertaker, Batista, Edge, Mark Henry (just for good measure) and Tommy Dreamer in that chamber, all for the WHC. TRY cheating to hold on that title when stuck inside the Chamber with five other people who just want to kill you, Edge.

And speaking of that idiot, man I'm so tired of the fact Smackdown has become a Edge reality show.

No longer watch Raw. And don't get me started about WWECW.

 

I have a solution for any wrestling promotion: Fire anyone named Vince (Russo, McMahon)!

 

AAO was an okay PPV. Not the best, not the worst either.

Barbed wire massacre was, as expected, violent as hell, with Abyss getting the worst of it. Mesias took some solid hits too, like a Black Hole slam on a barbed wire board.

Kong/ODB was yet another Kong squash.

Storm got screwed by Rhino. The stale alcoholism-ruined-Rhino's-life-and-Storm-pushed-him-over storyline will rear it's ugly head again.

Hooker B/Roode ended in a double countout. Rematch down the line.

Cage was screwed by Tomko. My hope of once again seeing the Instant Classic wearing the gold have just faded.

Black Moronic has regained the X title. Just when you think we're finally rid of this moronic a**hole, he gets a push. 3D now also have to get their weight below 275.

The tag team match sucked.

Steiner gets an X Title show and a WHC shot.

TNA are setting up Joe/Angle at Destination X. A title change is planned. Glad to be rid of Squirt Angle, not glad to be stuck with the fat pig Samoa Joe.

Yesterday's ROH featured a six-man, no holds barred brawl. Team CZW: Chris Hero, Super Dragon, Necrobutcher. Team ROH: Joe, Whitmer & Adam Pearce. This was, as expected, an utterly violent match filled with chair shots, Super Dragon piledriving Whitmer through a table, and Pearce losing a TON of blood. Necrobutcher took some wicked shots too. The end saw Claudio jump ship to CZW, helping Hero pin Pearce. John Zandig himself (owner/promoter of CZW, FYI) made an appearance and celebrated with Dragon, Hero, Necrobutcher and the CZW half of the arena.

A lot of RoH fans disliked this match. I digged it. What good is "wrestling" if there are rules, refs to enforce them and no weapons? Refs should be there only to count pinfalls. Weapons should be legal -- nah, scratch that -- a necessity, and the rulebook should be burnt and pissed on.

The rest of the otherwise boring RoH show featured a good tag teag match between the Briscoes and Styles/Sydal. The Briscoes have a shining future ahead of them, I can tell you that. If only they would wrestle in CZW instead of that drudgery called RoH. I only watch RoH for the CZW vs RoH war.

 

If I understand correctly, RoH and CZW cater to opposite halves of the wrestling market. RoH caters to those that like skill and ability, while CZW tailors their shor towards the bloodlust that drives the Hardcore action. Combining the shows would not noticeably increase fan base for either one, but alienate the camps further.

Samoa Joe would make a good champion (better than Edge, Seen-it, Ornton, Chavo...). I think he represents the attitude that TNA needs to survive the Russo era and thrive as the number two wrestling promition in North Amerca.

 

Appearantly, the best of the CZW/RoH war is yet to come - Zandig brings the Cage of Death to RoH somewhere in 2006, and since Fight Network broadcasts RoH from this era, this means it's not too far off. Zandig himself is supposed to be part of the match, along with Necrobutcher, so it should be good. After that, no more RoH for me -- too boring.

I should get some more CZW DVDs to kill the time. One can never get enough violence.

And Joe as champ? I don't like it at all. You know my stance on that -- the WHC should have returned to the Instant Classic. Cage is as good as a face than he is a heel, he's charismatic, talented and definitively is what TNA needs to wash through the Russo era.

 

There's one big knock against Chirstian Cage: He's still another WWE Cast off. Joe at least doesn't have the taint of McMahon about him...

 

Cage jumped ship on his own, not because he was fired, so I wouldn't put him with the other WWE rejects.

Besides, he's been with TNA since 2005 which is, IMO, more than enough to wash the WWE stigma off him.

I am not too crazy about the Cage/Joe/Nash alliance. Let's just hope this face turn is but a stepping stone to Cage reclaiming the WHC in the future.

The so-called "Angle Alliance" will not last very long, mark my words.

And more bad news - Russo has broken another Tag Team. This time, it's VKM who gets on the chopping block. BG and Kip are okay as a team, but as singles wrestler? Words fail me.

The vows renewal at the end of tonight's Impact was, well, I don't know how to put it without getting smoked by Tal for using too many asterisks, so I'll leave it to that.

 

I thought it was hilarious! But I also believe this is evidence that Russo should never be allowed near a writing instrument again. Maybe remove his hands for good measure...

 

SmartMark has wrote another column I find myself agreeing with - a good read.

As for RoH, well, if you like professional wrestling in it's purest form, then good on ya, RoH is definitively worth it. RoH just doesen't make the cut for me -- too boring. Now don't get me wrong -- they have some unbelivable talents like McGuinness, the Briscoes.

I'm a diehard fan of the Ultraviolence, so no RoH for me. For Pro Wrestling fans, they are an outstanding product.

Undertaker has won the Elimination Chamber. 16-0, anyone? Cena is also OUT of WrestleMania, and Big Show has returned!

 

Taker wining the Elimination Chamber is good, Seen-it out of WM is the best news imaginable, but the Big Slow back? Can't win them all, I guess...

 

Big Show lost 108 pounds and looks to be in the best shape of his life. I'm not sure how he will fare after his long absence, nor on which brand he will return, but I dare to hope they pack him to Smackdown.

And No Way Out? It just got better - HHH won the Raw Elimination chamber. So both HHH and Taker have earned title matches.

If it keeps going this way, WM24 just might be good.

*EDIT*

)+!#@(^%+(+%)&%#)(&#@+!)(%&@!(&#@!%)#@*!)(%*@)(#%&+!)@&!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FOR THE LOVE OF SATAN!!! CAN'T WE HAVE A FREAKING WRESTLEMANIA WITHOUT YOU CAN'T SEE ME?!? Just when I thought we would have a GOOD WWE title match, WHO comes WHINING about being SCREWED?!? THAT'S RIGHT. What promised to be a freaking CLASSIC and the crowning of a TRUE WWE CHAMP will now be a TRIPLE THREAT.

Last time I checked, Cena, you f****** MORON, you gambled your WM opportunity and LOST. HHH has EARNED his ONE-ON-ONE shot! Why don't you go challenge for the Extremely Crappy Wrestling title, Cena, because that's what you are - AN EXTREMELY CRAPPY WRESTLER and the BIGGEST MORONIC JACKA** I HAVE EVER SEEN.

@!_+(*^$_(*@^$+@!^+$^

 

Where do you think he came from? He was so annoying that Hell didn't want him so they inflicted him upon us! Here's hoping that The Game lets his sledge hammer do the talking and both of them are out indefinitely!

I think he's going to RAW actually. They need another big man on the top brand. I just hope that the bit with Mayweather doesn't turn into another Andre the Giant vs Chuck Wepner...

 

Wishful thinking. Orton or HHH will job to this moron, what else? They're grooming this A-hole for another long, tedious and painful title reign.

It doesen't matter who challenges this A-hole for the title. They will all lose. He's invincible. Nobody can beat him. Even Chuck Norris would get his a** whipped by this A-hole.

 

What we need to do is sick Chuck Norris on Vince McMahon...

 

Nah, he's kinda busy fueling a presidential campaign anyway . How about Vince Diesel? He has potential, and he should have an evening or two free. Failing that, I say dump a few barrels of nuclear waste in the Japan sea and hope something big and scaly comes out. It's from Japan, so can probably even wrestle... but as long as it is big, strong, ugly and with big teeth and gets at Vince McMahon, I'm game!

 

You could stick Cena in a one on three handicap featuring Vin Diesel, Mr. T & Chuck Norris and he would beat them all.

Don't bother watching tomorrow's Impact. A huge pile of steaming crap, that's what it is.

 

So I can watch Robot Chicken without worry then?

 

Absolutely, unless you want to see VKM break up (preceeded by a pathetic tag team match - Styles & Tomko vs Kip & Bullet Bob), Hooker B VS Squirt Angle, Black Moronic cutting a crappy promo and asking SoCal Val out (you like black meat, you little s***?), Kaz vs Rellik, Petey Williams vs Dutt vs Devine in a #1 contendership for the X title, Roxxi & Jackie vs ODB & Kim, Bubba vs Curry Man & Shark Boy.

Pick your poison, Gnarff.

*EDIT* And the pathetic "honeymoon" of Styles and Angle's wife, too.

Word is that Tommy Dreamer was at a TNA house show, and that he arrived with Cage. Hmmmmm. Dreamer is CZW material, not TNA.

 

Well, it's official - the James will square out at Destination X. Can't say I'm surprised, but this won't be a good match.

And looks like Mysterio is out of the picture again. Not only did he needed surgery, he was forced to compete against Chavo, then got trashed by the Big Show. Good stuff, that is.

The beating the little bastard took last Monday was good stuff too. Good thing - I'm sick of this midget moron. But then again, now we're gonna get promo about another s*** having posed for Playboy. Bah.

 

Wrestlemania may not be that bad this year. I'm still hoping that the words "Game ON" rule one main event, Taker goes 16-0, Flair will likely go out with a bang, Finley vs JBL should be one hell of a fight. Money in the Bank will again steal the show, however, starting with Jeff Hardy, Kennedy and Shelton Benjamin, how badly can Vince screw this up?