Wrestling: Random babbling

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Yeah, with Foley as special enforcer in the Jarrett/Angle match.

Some good news for the pathetic "Knockouts" division: Mickie Knuckles is about three weeks away from returning. Expect some eye-candy to be smashed, big time.

 

Hoooboy, here is a solid contender for the worst wrestler ranking (even if limited to the WWE) written by someone (arguably) over the age of 10. Enjoy... in all its glory: http://www.ugo.com/sports/best-wwe-wrestlers/ . I kid you not, whoever wrote this claimed to "spotlight the fifty essential wrestlers without whom the WWE wouldn't be where it is today."

Here is the ranking if you are too lazy to click it through:

Spoiler

1. Hogan
2. Cena (no, I did not accidentally omit a 3 or a 4.)
3. Taker
4. Shawn Michaels
5. Bruno Sanmartino
6. Vincent McMahon (arguably even more absurd than Cena... even by their own standards. If Vince is in the top 10, why wouldn't then Heyman be at least in the 30's?)
7. The Rock
8. Steve Austin
9. Andre
10. Edge
11. Flair
12. Jake "The Snake" Roberts
13. Bret Hart
14. Ricky Steamboat
15. Mick Foley.
16. Roddy Piper
17. Rey Mysterio Jr.
18. "Ravishing" Rick Rude
19. Randy Orton
20. Chris Jericho
21. "Mr. Perfect" Curt Hennig
22. Yokozuna
23. JBL ( : )
24. Brock Lesnar
25. "Macho Man" Randy Savage
26. Sergeant Slaughter
27. Hunter Hearst Helmsley (I'm no fan, but how the heck is HHH not in the top 20?)
28. The Ultimate Warrior
29. Bob Backlund
30. Umaga
31. "Superstar" Billy Graham
32. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka
33. Harley Race
34. Matt Hardy
35. The Iron Sheik
36. Jerry "The King" Lawler
37. Kane
38. Owen Hart
39. Batista
40. Mark Henry
41. Santino Marella
42. Hacksaw Jim Duggan
43. Goldust
44. Brian Pillman
45. William Regal
46. Ted DiBiase
47. Ken Shamrock
48. Al Snow
49. The Big Show

 

Putting Cena at number 2 is very telling about the state of WWE. They've shied away from quality Wrestling in favour of a marketable commodity--and sent their show into the commode...

 

And placing You-can't-see-me before The Undertaker? Last time I checked, You can't see me isn't 16-0 at WM, future Hall of Famer (there were rumors of Taker getting inducted THIS YEAR), the best brawler in WWE, and a plain badass mofo.

And the Has Been Kid before Stone Cold? No, no, no, that just won't do. Stone Cold is ENTERTAINING, unlike that cocky Has Been Kid. Stone Cold won THREE Royal Rumbles, King of The Ring, 6 time WWE Champ, not to mention the memories of the countless antics Austin VS McMahon brought -- remember the Cement truck and the convertible? The Budweiser truck?

And on a CZW related note, since I'm tired of talking about Wish we Were Entertaining, I have to give another CZW wrestler an accolade. This time, I'm talking about none other than Justice Pain, Hardcore Nick Gage's brother. This guy was brought up in the CZW forums in a discussion about who they'd like to see back in CZW, and after watching Justice Pain patches, I can say I HEARTILY agree. FIVE time CZW World Heavyweight Champion, THREE time CZW Tag Team Champion (Pain & Gage as the H8 club - ahh, it brings a tear to my eye just thinking about it), TWO time CZW Ironman Champion... Like Gage, Pain is an UNBELIEVABLE competitor, and really, I have to say this guy definitively was the top of the cream in CZW. I'd love to see Pain back, ally with Gage & Hatred and make the H8 Club a stable... that oh so would make me run to Philly for a show.

 

DotW: It's about what got the WWE to where it is today, not greatest of all time. Placing Seen-it second only to Hogan is reflective of the strategy of marketability over entertainment value. That's why the product has stagnated since Vince bought out WCW and ECW. And with Russo in TNA following suit, it's not going to get better.

The best we can hope for is the internet counter culture that CZW seems to offer...

 

Big Japan and IWA-MS also seem to cater to the Ultraviolent crowd - IWA was the federation CZW (well, Zandig) was at war with during the whereabouts of the ToD2, and the IWA-MS guys put up a pretty decent performance in their Deathmatches.

I've never seen Big Japan, but Deathmatches from the sickest country in the world? Sounds good to me.

 

Indicative how? The way I understand the rating, it involves people who brought mainstream appeal to WWE, influenced the style, matches etc - basically made a noticeable difference in the product.

Cena hasn't done that. Every time I hear talk of his certain induction in the HoF, I ask myself - what will he be remembered for? Sure, he might be a great worker, but all we know this from are backstage rumors and a few interviews.

Now, HBK by comparison, has advanced - or been part of WWE advances - in spades. He was part of one of the greatest tag teams of an era, and the pioneers of a more acrobatic style. He has been one of the first people of his category (I'm talking about weight/size) to be a WWE champ. These two alone are much more than Cena's entire CV so far as far as influence over the company goes. Then we have DX, which was an integral part of the attitude era. Then we have his mic skills, his stamina, his consistently good matches (all things including - despite the age and wear his matches with Jericho are still better than 80% of what the company offers).

And then we have the Rock, Austin, Taker - all people who have made WWE what it is. They gave something to the fans, the company, the business - something that wasn't there before. They made themselves memorable.

Now, we can't consider Cena a memorable technician - at best, he's ok. If we are talking about skills on the microphone, there's no way he could be anywhere NEAR, much less in front of, people like Jake Roberts, Roddy Piper, Randy Savage - hell, Bret Hart did the straight act better imo (and don't get me STARTED on some of the people in the top 10). Even if we talk about marketability, there's no comparing him - imo - to the giants of the early 2000s like the Rock or Steve Austin. I don't know how much he's sold, but they paved the way - and I've seen quite a few Austin 3:16 T-shirts even over my neighboorhood. So what's Cena doing in front of legends like those. Either UGO was brownnosing WWE (which imo they have no reason to do) or the votes that went into it were of ignorant Cena fans. Either way - bleh.

 

YESSS!!! My CZW DVDs have FINALLY arrived! Someone's going to whip out the proper equipment and get a fix of Ultraviolence this week...

*EDIT* ZOMG, the Cage of Death V was UNBELIEVABLE!

 

Exactly. Cena is the poster child for how far the WWE has fallen from that golden era you cite. They now favour media friendly (read non-controversial, non offensive), generic people that will do and say what they want. Wrestling ability is secondary to their willingness to spout the same drek over and over again. Cena is representative of this because of his willngness to be a Rapper and movie star.

The McMahon empire is decadent and fallen from it's one time glory. Taker is too old, Angle is in TNA, The Rock in Hollywood. HHH has become a McMahon, and only stays relevent because he knows better than the crack addicted, mentally challenged monkeys that write that crap and has the stroke to tell them so. Taker, Kane and HBK are shadows of their former selves. They made the WWE great, but that is no longer the case...

 

YESSS, Cage is slowly turning heel again! Finally, no more face crap from the Instant Classic!

 

So TNA is worth watching Saturday night?

I think I can pry myself away from the CZW that is rapidly filling my hard drive to watch it...

 

Okay, I've had a chance to watch the Cage of Death 5 a little more closely yesterday... damn, that match is worth the price of the DVD alone.

Highlights of the match:

- One of the chain-link fences breaking from the construction, and B-Boy falling straight into a million thumbtacks.
- Ian Knoxx grabbing the SAME chain-link fence to swing in the air and land a HUGE elbow on B-Boy
- Trent Acid kicking Ian Knoxx from the top of the chain-link path to the cage, sending him crashing through a table to the floor
- Adam Flash nailing a HUGE legdrop from the TOP of the cage on Nick Gage
- New Jack walking a side of the cage and landing a body press on Zandig through a table
- Wifebeater sideslams Adam Flash into the thumbtacks from 10 feet in the air
- Lobo lands a SICK Death Valley Driver through tables from the TOP OF THE CAGE carring TWO guys (and is on his feet SECONDS after)
- Messiah gets powerbombed by Wifebeater on a chain-link fence
- Nate Hatred turning on the Hi-V, and with the help of Nick Gage, flapjacking Messiah through a table with thumbtacks!

Seriously, after watching this match, I wonder - why would anyone waste their time with the televised soap operas? I'm seriously going to start buying CZW DVDs from this day forward. CZ-F'N-W!

 

Cage of Death 5 is on the download queue...

 

And I just ordered the Tournament of Death 3 DVD. Contributing some of my hard-earned cash to the Ultraviolence is a pleasent feeling - like bashing someone's head with a chair. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

 

Were I capable of following suit, I would be. I guess the best I can do is shamelessly plug it to any that I talk to...

 

Actually, the next step is going to an actual CZW show. Damn, to think I was THIS close to Philly the weekend of the Tangled Web event...

Okay, bad news: You-can't-see-me is coming back at Survivor Series. Another classic PPV annihlated.

On the positive side of things, Randy Orton is coming back at SS as well... and with some luck, maybe he will be beating the living hell out of You-can't-see-me pathetic, worthless carcass. Not too damn likely, appearantly it's gonna be Jericho/You-can't-see-me/Batista for the WHC at Armageddon. Uh-ho.

And another Armageddon spoiler - Kozlov gets a WWE title match.

 

Just when you sat that TNA might be worth watching, and I plan to catch the replay of Impact tonight, but it's not on. I'll have to settle for UFC...

 

Stink has won a World Title.

Wow. Someone please fire Vince Russo.

 

We need CZW to invade TNA...

Take the weed whacker to Russo--and everything he has planned!

 

Hell yeah, there are a couple (read:majority) of the TNA roster I'd like to see locked in the Cage of Death with Zandig, Nick Gage, Nate Hatred, Wifebeater, Lobo and let's fall a bit into fantasy here - JUSTICE PAIN. If this guy actually comes back to CZW (rumors have it that he's working on a return), man, the CZW landscape is going to get shaken up.

Now that you've got high speed, Gnarff, check out Justice Pain VS Wifebeater, or Justice Pain VS Nick Mondo (two of the all-time best in CZW colliding), or some of the all-time classic matches of Gage and Pain as the H8 Club. Hell, whenever it's the Pain/Gage, Pain/Wifebeater or Gage/Hatred incarnation, the H8 Club IS the finest Tag wrestling CZW has to offer.