Ye Olde Randome Babble Thread - 112

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Those filthy b@stards gave it away... -.-

I also learned that there were brownies involved as well. I'm thinking of sending my parents to an old folk's home...

 

Too bad you don't live closer - I'd give you some of the homemade chocolate chip cookies I plan on baking tomorrow.

 

@Shaman

I've had similar things happen to me, but not that bad (e.g. straight flush 9-K, beaten by a royal flush). That would suck balls.

 

I'd have brought round some blue-berry shortbread too and we could have had a party with cups of tea and things!

 

Kev and I still disagree on what a real rohypnol cake is.

He says it's simply a cake with rohypnol in it, but a real one is where you bake a cake, then while it's cooling you take the stuff yourself, you pass out, forget the past hour or so - wake up and there sat before you, perfect and ready to eat - AWESOME SURPRISE CAKE!

 

Now I have a mental image of nice little old ladies and cute little children shivering with fear...

 

I have only once, as far as I recall, genuinely scared children. They stopped talking and playing until I was out of sight. That was when I stormed home seriously disgruntled after sitting through the entire first part of Lord of the Rings. It was a winter evening, shortly after Christmas, it was snowing, and I was dressed in black, my open pea coat blowing in the wind like a trail of smoke and my eyes burning with furious anger - in brief, it was a lovely evening and I have no idea what went into these kids.

 

Only time I've scared children is when one ran into me, a sharp crack and a scream later they all went silent and stared at my leg pointing in the wrong direction

Putting it back in joint there and then may have been a bit much, but still, they didn't paly rough with me again. I'd been trying to get them to stop for days!

 

I used to scare the living s**t out of kids and adults both when I used to take my 10' long Albino Burmese Python out for a walk. I'd drape her around my neck, and her body would wrap around my waist...and she'd keep her head about level with mine as I walked. The curious would come up to me and ask if she was real, and once she moved her head, or stuck out her tongue...they would recoil in fear. It was awesome! Unfortunately, once she got to be about 10+ feet long, she was too big and heavy to take on walks...hell, just getting her out of her cage and into the feeding box counted as my daily workout.
I miss that snake...

 

I'm not allowed pet snakes, arachnids, dogs or anything that requires live feed

 

I'm too short and round to be intimidating. Even when my temper gets the best of me and I swear there's smoke coming out of my ears, I still can't seem to scare people. Maybe that's why the whackos like that guy I mentioned earlier, the one who pulled a knife on someone, like to try and snuggle up to me... I'm not easily intimidated but I guess I look like I am since I can't seem to scare anything away. Ugh!

 

Wow! I just had the weirdest week-end ever!

My family and I hadn't seen my uncle (my father's brother) in ages because he lives far. So my parents, my brother and I went over there to spend the weekend at his house. First, my aunt, while he was bringing empty beer bottles in the house, got her scandal stuck in the patio and dove face first on the house wall. She had to go to a clinic to get stiches under her eye (she was bleeding quite a lot) but was otherwise unharmed. So we continued to drink. My uncle just kept giving us beer so we kept drinking. In the vening, we emptied like 7 bottles of wine! Never in my life had I seen my parents drunk. That was really weird. My brother and I (both of us piss drunk) had to carry my mother to her bedroom because she couldn't walk!

 

Elderly people are amongst the rudest I have the misfortune of being forced to serve at work, save for a couple of elderly regulars which are great people. When you're an ass to me at work, rules and regulations or not, I'm going to be an ass right back to you, and with my already intimidating exterior, doesn't take much to get them to wet their diaper.

As for those snot-nosed little bastards... they're loud, moronic, kleptomaniacs (the number of those little bastards I caught stealing is unreal) who like to pay in F'N pennies... NOT rolled up, I might add. Some regulars pay with rolled up change, and I don't mind having extra dimes, nickles and quarters on top of the regular change box, since this kind of change is DAMNED USEFUL during a shift. F'N PENNIES ARE NOT! Pennies are bulldung -- every price should end with a 5 or a 0. It costs more to make a penny than what it's worth, not to mention nobody F'N wants them! I stopped counting the number of times when the change is a penny or a couple of pennies, I'm told "keep the change". Pennies F'N suck, they should be BANNED.

Now a bit of randomness since this isn't the work ranting thread... damn, the fog is unreal.

 

Trying to decide whether or not to dye my hair black again. It's not for any 'goth' reason, but because the first time I did it (when I did it myself - 2nd time was done by a hair dresser who didn't get the shade I wanted so it looked like crap) it looked awesome, even with my pale coloring. It was a blue-black that shimmered in normal lighting but just hit you with the blue when I went out in the sunlight. It also seems to go well with my hazel green/blue eyes, especially when I'm wearing my contacts instead of glasses. I'm so torn. Now I'm off to watch Avatar and wishing I had someone to curl up with while I watch the movie.

 

My heart is happy!

So I'm watching the news the other night...and there is a story about a Toyota 4 Runner that went nuts and didn't feel like stopping as it drove the driver through a fence, across a parking lot, finally crashing into the side of a bank. It reminded me of the story of the "runaway" Toyota that made national headlines a few weeks back. I chuckled at the thought that maybe this was another idiot trying to weasel money out of Toyota...but forgetting that modern cars have data recorders.

Well, it turns out, that idiot is the douchebag that Jessica left me for!
She called me the next day and told me all about it...the whole time I was grinning from ear to ear. At no point did I say anything that could remotely sound like concern. Sometimes, karma is kind to those who wait.

On a side note, I sincerely hope that they are stupid enough to try to copy the afore mentioned hoax. Criminal charges and possibly some jail time for either of them would over joy me.


I don't think I've felt this much satisfaction since I learned how to tie my own shoes.....granted, that was only a few months ago...regardless, I am quite happy.

 

HAHA! That was AWESOME, Kit! That reminds me of that time years back when an ex cheated on me... I was about to go to the jackass' place and beat him with extreme prejudice to a millimeter of his life, and just when I left, I got a phone call telling me that F'ER was killed in an accident while rollerblading earlier that day. In a battle between a jackass and a car, pick the car. The jackass got killed, spared me the trouble of having to beat his ass, not to mention this way was a much more... permanent lesson. Too bad I don't know where his ass was buried -- I'd go cast some bronze on his grave and top it with piss.

So yeah, karma *is* a b[censored]. And I for one, would have it no other way.

 

Sweet....

Unfortunately, the douchebag didn't die. I don't even know how extensive his injuries were...because if I asked, it would seem like I cared. She said "ambulance" and I thought "awesome!"

 

Probably a dumb question, but why does everyone go after the one the ex cheated with? Why be pissed off at them when it was the ex who did the cheating?

 

*unzombifies from weekend*

We're still inflicting bodily harm to random people in RBP?

*puts on a helmet*

For some reason, any and all creativity (or well, productivity) seems to only happen when I spend about an hour trying to start. (Or writing useless stuff).
Getting a bit tired of kicking myself to do anything.

*decides to zap in the future*

Goggles!

 

Probably because your ex was too damn stupid to notice your awsomeness so they aren't going to be bright enough to figure out that you're punishing them...however, they MAY be bright enough to be upset that you're done a number on their new lover.